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The bar cannot be lowered. The bar has hit the magma core of the earth.

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This is a short post because honestly, there’s not a lot to say about this other than, “well, that’s predictable.” Because it has never been a surprise to see shitty people’s shitness ignored in favor of cash. It’s just how the world works and I think we’re all pretty comfortable with stating that as a blanket truth, right?

Jamie McGuire’s Beautiful Disaster is getting a movie adaptation.

I’m not sure if that news has been officially announced by McGuire because I’m not a QAnon conspiracy theorist so I don’t follow her on Parler, but I got a DM from a true MVP that included these screenshots:

Back when she was still on Twitter, McGuire tweeted the following:

a tweet from Jamie McGuire, text in post body

McGuire’s text reads, “Look who’s reading Beautiful Disaster… Director/writer Roger Kumble. Just wrapped the After We Collided movie. Maybe let him know how you’d feel about a BD movie? #gofam #timetogetexcited” above a tweet she’s quoted from Roger Kumble, in which he’s apparently listing books he’s reading right now.

And whoa, hey, look what ole Roger is up to:

text heavy, crucial text is in the body of the post

As my source kindly highlighted here, “Untitled Roger Kumble Project” is a feature film going into production in Bulgaria in October, 2021. And it sounds…familiar. I mean, the synopsis is, “Allie plans to spend college buried in books, but those plans go out the window when she meets Davis Molloy, an amateur bare-knuckle boxer and college campus charmer.” So, has Kumble ripped off McGuire’s magnum opus?

No. You see, Kumble is no newcomer to Hollywood. He directed his first film, Cruel Intentions (yes, that Cruel Intentions) in 1999. So, surely he’s aware that certain unsavory connections to “Untitled Roger Kumble Project” could make it difficult to cast or distribute.

For example, the fact that his source material was written by an anti-vaccine, election-fraud-conspiracy-peddling Parler princess who has:

  • Defended U.S. terrorist Kyle Rittenhouse and stated that she would “riot” if he’s not cleared of all charges
  • Fat shamed a child on Facebook
  • Whole-throatedly agreed with J.K. Rowling’s stance on transgender women
  • Posted a Facebook status lamenting the death of Ahmad Arbery on her publicly facing author profile while agreeing with Candace Owen’s take that Arbery was shot for being a criminal
  • Made “Trump Cult Aunt” her online brand

McGuire is basically Kimberly Guilfoyle with a fading publishing career and worse plastic surgery. But Beautiful Disaster will be a movie.

You know. The book with the title that was tattooed on one of the January 6th insurgents. The book by the author who’s on the side of the people who tried to assassinate our former vice president and a whole bunch of congress members.

I’m sorry to be the one to bring this news to you, Trout Nation. I ask only that you don’t hate watch the damn thing when it comes out on Netflix or whatever. Because the algorithm won’t know that you’re hate watching it. And you’ll be putting money in the pocket of someone who’s already tried to run for an elected position once before. You might just be funding her next campaign.

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  1. Tez Miller
    Tez Miller

    The book with the title that was tattooed on one of the January 6th insurgents.

    Had not heard about that tattoo, yet am not surprised. *headdesk*

    October 17, 2021
    • Renae

      Me either!

      October 17, 2021
  2. I’m not remotely surprised someone’s picked it up for a movie. I actually think it would be less terrible as a movie than as a book (which is indeed a bar buried so low that shuffling along the ground, or even shuffling hip-deep in a swamp, would get us there); all that smouldering sexual tension that McGuire tried to write to make up for her total lack of plot is the kind of thing that would actually work better on screen. And the scriptwriters could probably even find some plot to add; goodness knows they’ve got plenty of room to do so.

    And, no, I’m also not in the least surprised that ‘shitty human being’ is no bar to a film producer picking up your work when there’s money to be made from it.

    October 17, 2021
    • Dove

      If only they’d chosen Chuck Tingle!

      But surely there are more popular “romance” authors than McGuire, ugh.
      And even if they salvage her hot mess, why bother?

      October 17, 2021
  3. A

    I find it weird that he changed the character names… Isn’t it supposed to be Abby and Travis Maddox? Maybe he’s taking her idea and making it better and leaving her out of the process entirely. Fingers crossed.

    October 17, 2021
    • Jules

      Oh what I would give for it to be a parody of how terrible that book sounds like it is.

      I refuse to hate watch/read things because these people don’t deserve my money, my time or my thought. Yeah, I might be that child who thought hiding her head under the covers meant the monsters couldn’t see me. But it was better than coming out and removing all doubt.

      October 18, 2021
      • Amanda

        I actually did read this when it first came out and I didn’t yet realize what a terrible person Jamie McGuire is.

        And I returned it the next day. I was so angry at how terrible the book was that I actually took it back to Meijer and demanded they remove it from my possession. I had literally never done that before.

        I never trusted thousands of 5 star reviews on Amazon again.

        There was no plot to speak of, every cliche you can think, a disgusting male character, and a female character who was physically scared of said male character. Also, a random ass “plot” that came out of left field and took over the whole middle of the book for reasons that I still can’t fathom.

        Even if Jamie McGuire was actually a decent human being (which she isn’t), the book was truly awful. I won’t even be hate-watching this movie and actively praying that it doesn’t come to fruition.

        October 27, 2021
    • Its A-Me Mario
      Its A-Me Mario

      This is one thing I know a tiny bit about! Names have to go through an approval process via legal and other teams – they often HAVE to change them to get the names cleared. It’s why in a lot of adapted works you’ll have a character with the same first name as they do in the book, but a different last name. I don’t know WHY this is, but it came up in an AMA a TV show runner did several years ago, and thought it was interesting.

      October 27, 2021
    • JennyTrout

      It was done to keep the news under wraps until deadline announced it. casting announcements all have the correct names.

      October 27, 2021
  4. Jaycie

    I’m sorry, but I MUST hatewatch this one. My long history as a professional snarker demands it. Seeing how Rog brings some of that insanity to the screen is going to be amazing. But I’ll try to find a bootleg.

    October 18, 2021
    • Al

      Should be fine as long as you pirate it — no algorithms there

      October 22, 2021
    • Jane Doe
      Jane Doe

      Weeeeeellll, you can technically hate watch and not have anyone involved profit from your hatewatching.
      I’m just sayin’.

      October 26, 2021
  5. Abby

    I only heard this news a few days ago and immediately thought of you. This whole thing makes me ill. With the way this news has blown up on Twitter, I don’t see how the cast and crew can ignore it. Even if McGuire wasn’t a racist, extremist POS, the toxic abusive relationship and the disgusting misogynistic inner thoughts of the heroine do not deserve more attention. Even if the movie cuts out the worst of it, more people will be driven to the book and I hate that.

    October 27, 2021
  6. MC

    Well, it certainly wouldn’t be the first piece of busted down Twilight fanfiction to be optioned.

    Wouldn’t touch it at gunpoint.

    Mcguire is a garbage person whose fictional characters are themselves garbage people.

    What do you want to bet that the Maddox brothers would be just the type to chase down a brown person and either beat or shoot them to death because reasons?

    January 3, 2022

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