I’m shamelessly plugging my new Fantasy Romance serial in the intro to an unrelated post. Join the new Patreon tier or my Ream page , or read it on Kindle Vella.
As promised, I’m importing the A Court of Thorns and Roses recaps here from Patreon. These were originally written beginning in August of 2020, so there will be references to upcoming or seasonal events that won’t fit with our current timeline. I am not a time traveler and you’ll never be able to prove that I am. I will also include editors notes like this every now and then as we go, mostly to amuse myself but to give re-read value to those who’ve already been on this awful, awful journey with me.
Note: This is an extra super bad pain week for me, so if my thoughts seem scattered, please understand it’s not that we at Trout Nation Inc. don’t care about quality control. We just don’t care about it right now. ed.—That note is from the original recap. I’m actually fine right now.
Welcome back to… wait, what? Did we skip a huge chunk of book? Other than skating past any relationship development that could have occurred over the hallway scene? Because this chapter opens with Feyre and Tamlin lying in some grass together like they’re dating. ed.—Or in Twilight.
Lucien, claiming that he had miserable emissary business to attend to, had left Tamlin and me to our own devices, and the HIgh Lord had taken me to yet another beautiful spot in his enchanted forest.
Lucien is to this book as Tiger was to The Brady Bunch.
If you don’t get that reference you’re either too young or never had Nick at Night. ed.—As a still outdated, but more recent, example, one could say that Lucien is to this book as the older sister was to Family Matters.
But there were no enchantments here—no pools of starlight, no rainbow waterfalls. It was just a grassy glen watched over by a weeping willow, with a clear brook running through it.
Shut up, Feyre, you could be on the side of a mountain for all we know. You have some kind of neurological disorder that makes you incapable of describing geological features.
Tamlin mentions that the singing of the willows always makes him sleepy, and Feyre assumes he’s pulling her leg when he insists that yes, willows do sing.
“You’re human,” he said, and I rolled my eyes. “Your senses are still sealed off from everything.”
I’m interested to know who, exactly, did the sealing. I find the wording here…suspect. If their senses are “sealed off,” then who sealed them? Or who broke the seal on the fae?
Ah. Yet another point in a recap where I realize that something interesting could be explored, but probably won’t. ed.—It is not.
I made a face. “Just another of my many shortcomings.” But the word—shortcomings—had somehow stopped finding its mark.
Technically, this would be your second shortcoming, Feyre. The other time the word was used described your inability to read. But I find it interesting that once a dude wants to fuck her, formerly insulting descriptions are no longer insulting coming from that dude.
“I could make you able to see it,” he said. His fingers lingered at the end of my braid, twirling the curl of hair around. “See my world—hear it, smell it.” My breathing became shallow as he sat up. “Taste it.” His eyes flicked to the fading bruise on my neck.
I wonder if magic will taste better once she gets her seal broken. We always hear about how she can taste it. Maybe it won’t be gross and metallic now.
Tamlin tells Feyre that every gift comes with a price, and that price turns out to be a kiss. And of course, Feyre won’t let him kiss her! With her consent?! That would be so UNSEXY! The only way Feyre will deign to be kissed is whilst being slammed up against a wall, I guess.
But of course, she rationalizes why it’s okay to want to kiss him by saying that not being able to see things the way he does puts her at a disadvantage.
You see, she MUST kiss him, to be a strong female character. Otherwise, she OBVIOUSLY wouldn’t do so.
They get up on their knees and he tells her to close her eyes.
I braced myself at the brush of his mouth on one of my eyelids, then on the other. He pulled away, and I was left breathless, the kisses still lingering on my skin.
Ho ho, what is this bit of fae trickery? Methinks Tamlin was jesting about the kiss in payment; he merely needed to lay his lips upon her eyelids.
And since the place he kissed her was her eyelids, sight is, of course, the first heightened sense introduced.
SIKE!
The singing of birds became an orchestra—a symphony of gossip and mirth. I’d never heard so many layers of music, never heard the variations and themes that wove between their arpeggios.
Wow, Feyre knows music theory as well as painting. Truly, a renaissance poor person.
The world had become richer, clearer. The brook was a near-invisible rainbow of water that flowed over stones as invitingly smooth as silk.
Ah, yes. So different from the OPAQUENESS THAT WATER IS @#$%ing KNOWN FOR.
The trees were clothed in a faint shimmer that radiated from their centers and danced along the edges of their leaves. There was no tangy metallic stench—no, the smell of magic had become like jasmine, like lilac, like roses.
Oh my god, I am laughing at myself so hard. Between reading the chapter and writing the recap, I totally forgot that the smell of magic changed. So, above, when I was like, “I wonder if the smell of magic will be different,” I already knew the answer and had forgotten it and I was SO EXCITED to see my question answered.
Until I realized I already knew the answer and forgot it.
Trust me, if you’re inside my head, it’s hilarious.
As is the fact that this:
I would never be able to paint it, the richness, the feel …
came directly after the above sentence, in the same paragraph, suggesting that Feyre is gonna try to paint smells.
But yeah, just in case you were wondering if Feyre could paint this. I know that any object or setting mentioned in this book, I’m like dang, I hope Feyre can paint this, so I’m glad they didn’t keep me—or you, dear Patron—in suspense for long.
Then Feyre looks at Tamlin and if you thought there was no way he could possibly get hotter, well. I have horrible news for you.
It was Tamlin, but not. Rather, it was the Tamlin I’d dreamed of. His skin gleamed with a golden sheen, and around his head glowed a circlet of sunshine. And his eyes—
Not merely green and gold, but every hue and variation that could be imagined, as though every leaf in the forest had bled into one shade. This was a High Lord of Prythian—devastatingly handsome, captivating, powerful beyond belief.
Ma’am, the currency of “oooh, he’s a high lord, so powerful and handsome” is buying less and less lately. Every single time we’re meant to be impressed/horned-up by this description, I lose a little more interest. And that’s pretty fucking difficult, considering I DNFed this book at least three times prior to these recaps due it being uninteresting. Yes, we get it. Handsome. Powerful. Lots of power. Powerfully handsome and handsome with power. Why? Because High Lord. Handsome High Lord Powerful. Power power handsome power.
WE KNOW MOVE ON
Feyre tries to Christine Daae the mask off his face but it won’t move because, you know, Feyre isn’t more powerful than the powerful magical power power that’s powering magically (and handsomely) all over the place. Then, she suddenly can’t see how powerfully handsome and handsomely powerful Tamlin is anymore. He’s back to operating at only 90% handsome power. When Feyre asks him why, he says he glamoured himself again.
“To look normal. Or as normal as I can look with this damned thing,” he added, gesturing to the mask.
Lotta The Phantom of the Opera movie, “woe is me, I am Gerard Butler with pink-eye” vibes coming off this line. Curse this beautiful, bejeweled mask that obscures my powerfully handsome face. I am a monster.
“Being a High Lord, even one with … limited powers, comes with physical markers, too. It’s why I couldn’t hide what I was becoming from my brothers—from anyone. It’s still easier to blend in.”
Wait. This cannot possibly be Tamlin’s inner conflict. I won’t allow that to be the case. He’s tortured because he’s too pretty? Sorry, too handsome? Too powerfully handsome and so he has to tone down his handsome powers? POWERFULLY?!
Weep for him, sweet Feyre. He’s POWERFULLY HANDSOME and his HANDSOME POWERS must be hidden but not by the bejeweled mask that currently hides his handsomeness.
Feyre, a human Facebook post comment section, questions whether he’s really done all he can to get that darned mask off. Is he sure the curse can’t be broken? Did he check with the other courts?
Feyre is your friend from college who answers every single one of your venting posts with “helpful” suggestions like, “THAT’S ILLEGAL YOU SHOULD GET A LAWYER” and “GO TO THE ER IF YOU’RE HAVING CHEST PAINS!”
Thank god you’re here, Feyre. The immortal, powerful, handsome being made out of pure magic might not have thought to ask for help with this whole mask thing. You’re right, he probably just woke up, went, huh, wish I could take this mask off, oh well, and gave up until you arrived.
“I just … just want to know what you look like.” I wondered when I’d grown so shallow.
Previous to the beginning of this book, from what I can tell.
This leads to an unbearable exchange in which Tamlin asks Feyre what she thinks he looks like and she begins to describe how handsome he is to him. Lucky for us, she gets sleepy and the subject gets changed.
“What about your part of the bargain?”
“What?”
He leaned closer, his smile turning wicked. “What about my kiss?”
If Feyre were smarter than she is horny, she’d point out that he actually kissed her twice already, one for each eye, and he owes her for that second one. But Feyre is not as smart as she is horny, so it’s a “cute” and “funny” moment:
I grabbed his fingers. “Here,” I said, and slammed my mouth against the back of his hand. “There’s your kiss.”
And of course:
Tamlin roared with laughter, […]
I just want to sit Tamlin down in front of some Gabriel Iglesias stand-up and see what the fuck happens.
So, that sentence ends with Feyre thinking about how sleepy she is. So, the willow is getting to her, too. Tamlin says he should take her back to the house but instead they just lay in the grass being sleepy.
The most riveting three paragraphs I have ever read, let me tell you. Then this happens and I’m confused so I need input, Patrons:
This was such a lovely dream. I’d never slept so wonderfully before. So warm, nestled beside him. Calm. Faintly, echoing into my world of slumber, he spoke again, his breath caressing my ear. “You’re exactly as I dreamed you’d be, too.” Darkness swallowed everything.
If you have a copy of this book handy, will you do me a favor? Will you read back and see where in this chapter Feyre said he was exactly as she dreamed he would be? Because I’m not understand the “too” despite several re-reads. What the fuck is he talking about?
That’s the chapter. They laid in the grass and she can see magic now. Which really does seem like a big fucking deal for the story, so I’m glad it happened, but I think that with more build up it could have felt like (and been) a much bigger deal. Here, it’s “oh, look how beautiful everything is and how hot Tamlin is and WOW HE GAVE ME FAIRY EYE SMOOCHES NOW EVERYTHING IS EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL AND HOT,” without much substance otherwise. Feyre doesn’t wonder what this means for her now or how this will change her existence in Prythian. She doesn’t think about why Tamlin didn’t give her this ability before, when it would have given her more of an advantage against the dangers around because she’d be able to perceive them.
And it makes no sense to me that this whole experience didn’t devolve into, “everything was beautiful… except for me because I am plain and human and unremarkable.” I don’t want to read that because it would be terrible writing, but it would have at least been consistent. So far, Feyre has shown very little character development. Most of it has been centered around coming to terms with the fact that she doesn’t have to honor her vow to her dying mother.
Feyre’s lack of self-esteem hasn’t improved while she’s been in Prythian; if anything, it’s become so much worse. It makes no sense that her “woe is me, I’m not beautiful like other girls are” nonsense wouldn’t rear its head here. But I don’t want to read it. I just want consistency. So I’m faced with the impossible choice between wanting them both but knowing that either would cause me suffering.
Like when I go to Cold Stone Creamery.
Damn. This is where we’re at? Whoa.
I hate everything now. This is the kinda shit I would’ve wanted AGES ago. Yes it’s bland, tame, and pointless but it’s cute. I mean trim the garbage, make it competent, and just get rid of all the shitty stuff that happened in prior chapters… maybe actually go back and add in this supposed dream sequence referenced or else save it from the editor (maybe this is the ONE THING they got removed somehow ha ha) and it could be a guilty pleasure.
Like, shit, I forgive the Hyper Police manga for all kinds of offenses (including at least one very awkward retcon) because it’s just a stupid fun time with good art. Problematic, yes, but I enjoy it and I’ve even reread it which is saying something. lol I looked up the wiki, I was gonna make some comment, then died laughing when I noticed it said the lead heroine, Natsuki, was born in 2005 and I did the math from 2023 and it’s almost correct for her canonical age of 17. Ahhh. It’s always great when kinda sci-fi stuff that is set “in the future” does this kinda thing. Although to be fair it’s like an alternate Earth or whatever. I’d frankly be down with humans becoming an endangered species and monsters/yokai ruling the world I mean it might be just as bad but I’d enjoy going outside more.
Meh anyway. I don’t blame you for DNFing this sucker three times prior. Holy shit. I legit can’t fathom or maybe more accurately just don’t want to consider where this is going if we’re losing the old awful inconsistencies for new but generic toxicity. Also, it’d be horrifying but hilarious if instead he had to lick her eyeballs. That was actually my first thought when he kissed her eyelids. “Don’t open your eyes in surprise yer not gonna enjoy that second kiss!” Especially since I was expecting a perfectly run of the mill kiss on the lips… like it makes sense but I was sincerely disappointed. I wanted to know how she’d describe a normal smoochy or if we’d get some spit swap up in here.
Tbh I’m genuinely curious what monsters and/or yokai ruling the world would look like in actual reality where humans have no superhuman abilities.
ALSO shit! it just dawned on me. She described the bite mark on her neck like a hickey. WHY didn’t THAT give her some kind of powers?? What if the man has magic were rabies? And I guess that’d be kinda interesting if he gave her the fairy version of a cold sore and she’s like “what is this magical thing?? it scares me!” and he’s like “oh… that’s herpes.”
Ahhh mostly I’m just so disappointed how low magic this setting is. Like I’m not asking for a proper magic system. I don’t expect it, we don’t really need one (not every setting requires that level of depth), and she’d fuck it up if she tried, but I’m actually starting to wonder if she even likes magic at all. I realize fairytales are very blasé about their magic but that’s a little different from this.
Also disappointed by how lackluster the whole “she can now see magic” thing seems. That should have been a Dorothy goes from black and white kansas to technicolor Oz moment. instead it was a look at the sparkly vampire in the sunlight moment.
That this book was as successful as it was makes me weep for humanity.
Exactly. We could’ve had a proper introduction for the unveiling of the world around her but instead we got this. I don’t weep for humanity per se but yeah… I mean this is just a symptom of bigger problems.
Love the Wizard of Oz comparison!
Maybe that part of her neck now also has magic sense, but for like, danger? Like some spidey sense. Except she doesn’t recognise it, so every time she does something stupid (which is all the fucking time) it starts to itch/tingle/produce green frotty ooze.
Also, I agree about the blasé magic thing. She’s supposed to be in this magical land of wonder and eternal spring. And all the magic we’ve seen is consciousness-be-gone, insta-candles, and table shrinkage? And superglued on fasemasks? Like, really? That’s it? In a world of magic, does one need servants? Or regular horses?
Or maybe the ever changing garden/valley/foothill/meadow is like the magical shifting stairs in hogwards? And suposed to be a feature, but just very, very badly written?
Eh, I don’t mind the servants and regular horses although I feel like the horses should’ve been able to talk since most helpers in fairy tales actually aren’t fairies, they’re talking animals/objects or something else or in some cases lol a servant. Also the first time I read one where a dragon rode on a horse like a normal dude I did a double take but it amuses me so I don’t mind. The servants unfortunately don’t make much difference; Alis should’ve been able to tell Feyre sooner what to actually do instead of the stupid snare with the chicken IMHO. Also while some horses in fairy tales are just generic, there are some baller horses in fairy tales and it’s a shame that Tamlin is apparently the shittiest breeder around because most goddamn authority figures with magic tend to have a bitchin’ horse with magical capabilities like incredible speed.
So yeah, the main issue is she’s just not even taking the normal things and applying the proper amount of magic twist. Like I get that she’d be leery of objects talking because of Disney’s version but the Suriel could’ve been a talking well for example and I wouldn’t have batted an eyelash. In general, not that she had to keep to fairy tale conventions, but she doesn’t even use those. If she HAD done the enchanted changing scenery on purpose that would’ve been cool as hell. Like what if, since the seasons never change, the LANDSCAPE does? Just for something different? So the mountains, forests, hills, lakes, and rivers move around in the dark, and the moon, stars, and planets coordinates everything? Or they move even during the day but slowly so you have to be careful where you’re going and there’s a lot of earthquakes? IDK just spitballing shit off the top of my head.
Lmaooo like a vampire or werewolf bite? Except instead of turning from just one bite, you very briefly get sparkly-senses. Maybe for a day or so.
Fun fact — in her series from before this one, she has what seems like a watered down version of a white dude fantasy novel setting (think like… if Wheel of Time was a barrel, she scooped a teaspoon out, dropped it into her 2-liter bottle of book, and then added water until the bottle was full); and in it, it’s very explicitly stated that magic got banned like in the show Merlin, and instead of Magic users going into hiding, magic itself just sorta.. disappeared? From the entire country? And now nobody can use any. Every so often the first book talks about “ooh, spooky, back when there were, like, magical beings and stuff… too bad they all went away.”
Anyway, all this is to say that your idea of her just hating magic for some reason fits really well with that book XD
This bit cracked me up:
“I just … just want to know what you look like.” I wondered when I’d grown so shallow.
Previous to the beginning of this book, from what I can tell.
Because, I, too, feel like she’s been pretty shallow from the get go. Not just because her entire interest in Tamlin seems to be because he’s hawt, but also just shallowly developed as a character. She is the least developed main character I’ve ever heard of.
How old is Fayray meant to be? Because she comes across like a 12 year old, and Tamtam’s reactions to her, laughing at the kiss on the hand bit, come across like an “uncle” making a little girl feel special because he’s grooming her. “Like, oh, little Fayray made a funny, that’s my clever little girl, now come sit on uncle Tam’s lap”.
Yeah, everything about their coupling so far is icky AF for me. I think I’d rather see what Lucien is up to. I feel like the miserable emissary business would have been more interesting, even if it was Lucien waiting in line at the DMV to get his license renewed.
Ironically, I wouldn’t be surprised if this series inspired Lore Olympus but they’re all the same shit cut from the same cloth. Lucien’s wacky adventure at the DMV would definitely be more interesting (especially considering that he’s missing an eye.) Even if he got done early and nothing went amiss, he’d probably run some other errands and/or visit some friends before going home to these two jerks and I’d be happy to follow along as long as they’re a breath of fresh air.
Maybe Jenny should do a Lore Olympus recaps after Modelland. Hmm.
Seconding that — in the hands of a competent author, “Lucien goes to the faerie DMV” could be delightful.
“Sir, you can’t winnow in here.”
“Like hell I can’t,” Lucien said, as though a fiery afterlife existed in this definitely-not-Christian universe. “I have a writ from my father.”
“May I see it, please?”
“May you—“ Lucien blinked at the guard a few times in astonishment. “Is this some kind of jape? I’ve been here dozens of times. It’s my *job*. I used to live here.”
“All the same,” the guard said, and, when Lucien grudgingly handed it over, looked over it with an increasingly despondent air, as of a messenger bearing a packet of insulting limericks for a foul-tempered recipient whom he *knew* he was going to get shot by.
“Err… forgive me, m’lord; but… your writ for winnowing in the Autumn Court is, erm. Out of date.”
#
No amount of incredulous shouting or cajoling would cause the guard to budge. The upshot of the whole matter was that Lucien found himself standing in a long line at court, behind fawns begging for Tithe relief and High Fae seeking an arbiter for their petty squabbles, waiting to see his *own father* to have his winnowing writ updated. He seethed. This had to have been some trick of his brothers’, to make him suffer. They had never forgiven him for being the first of them to bed Tamlin, back when the golden-haired lord had first ascended to his seat; they had made something of a competition of their attempts to seduce him during diplomatic forays to the Spring Court. But none of them had expected Lucien to win.
He couldn’t help but smirk at the memory. If they only knew the whole of it…
Ok, here’s the thing about smells (and sensory input in general): they’re supposed to convey necessary information about something.
If something smells bad to us, that’s our body telling us to stay away from that thing. Gasoline doesn’t have much smell by itself, so they add methyl mercaptan so that we can detect it and instinctively go, “Oh, that’s something dangerous.”
I’ve previously mentioned my faery superhero RPG character. In that setting, the GM and I decided that faeries can smell cold iron, because it’s dangerous to them. Humans can’t smell it, because they’ve never needed to.
If magic smells unpleasant to humans but lovely to faeries, that would mean that it’s inherently dangerous to humans but very pleasurable, possibly necessary, to faeries. That’s not something that should be easily changed! If I were reading a novel whose protagonist suddenly noticed herself thinking that lighter fluid smelled delicious, I’d figure she was turning into something other than human, and would hope that the author was making this part of a noticeable process.
It would make far more sense in ACOTAR’s setting to have humans not be able to smell magic at all without a fae boon.
Also: it’d be nice if, rather than constantly thinking “I could never paint that”, Feyre thought, “I’d love to try to paint that” and started thinking about pigment mixes and whatnot.
That’s an excellent point about the smells, I didn’t even consider that, and it shows how little thought was put into the idea which isn’t necessarily a problem since it’s not really an important part of the lore except everything else is like this, making it nearly impossible to determine what even is lore sometimes. The other angle is if the author was trying to play with how different species have different levels of detection capacity with smell and sight, which seems to be what she was going for, but she just couldn’t think of any more in-depth or creative way to get that across and of course both ideas would go great together.
And yes! Her overuse of “I couldn’t paint it” is so infuriatingly lazy and so much proof of how the author isn’t any kind of artist/visual hobbyist. Feyre thinking once or twice how she could never paint something could be for actual emphasis and explain how hard certain things are to depict. I can’t come up with a good example rn but let’s say iridescence. (Well, not that iridescence would be easy if you didn’t have any references for the object/animal showing it.) Most people even if they’re just glancing in passing would marvel at it, contemplate how it might be done in detail, and either give up to carry on with something else or get to it later. But we never see her really doing that or trying stuff with practice or any failed attempts (unless drawing/painting pigs a bunch that one time meant she had trouble getting it just right lol) and so it feels empty.
I’m not a professional by any means, I gave up for about two decades on art, and I didn’t think about the nuts and bolts very much but I rarely just thought “wow I could never do that.” I mean, sometimes, yes but I’d study things a bit, ponder what little I knew sometimes. Ultimately, I didn’t draw or paint or anything for a long time and just admired stuff but “I can’t do that” is something I associate with depression or anxiety and so if that’s the goal she also didn’t express it very well. Because it was less “I could never” and more “I can’t do the thing because I can’t bring myself, not motivated” or else “I don’t understand how this works” or “I want to do that but I don’t feel like practicing so what’s the point.” It had more depth and it’s just so empty when Feyre does it.
Meh. Point is, I agree with you.
A great way to convey the magic of the place could have been having Fayray think about HOW should would try to get something on canvas rather than just constantly saying “I can’t paint that”, which makes me doubt Fayray has any artistic ability.
Just something like “the color of the water was unlike any color I’d ever seen. I wanted to rush back to my room and start mixing paints to see if I could capture that strange blend of midnight and hope.” IDK, anything would be a better description than “it’s so magic and beautiful I can’t paint it”
I forgot to add but while I’m extremely lazy about references, if I’m downright obsessed with something, I’ll create a ton in the hopes I’ll feel inspired sometime soon and use them to recreate what I adore so much. I realize she doesn’t have photography but it’d be really cool if she had a little set of tools for making some refs or she painted on site/plein air or she was given some fantastic magical thing that cane create photos for her lol. IDK just something cool because while I’m the epitome of laziness and don’t like doing life studies or still lifes and stuff (I really should because it’s like creating muscle memory) if she at least expressed this same scenario it’d make her more realistic… it’d also be funny if for example Tamlin recognized who’s hand she used for her Egg Boy painting reference lol.
“Is that your hand?”
“No, it’s Lucien’s.”
“He sat for you??”
“I told him it was for a painting of a man I had sex with even though I couldn’t care less about him, resulting in mostly uninteresting but okay orgasms.”
“I see…”
“Lucien found it amusing for some reason.”
“That little… oh he knew this would annoy me!”
“…Why? It’s just some farmer’s son back home. He’s nothing compared to you!”
“Yes but you thought about him enough to paint his stupid hand… not even his face, just the damned hand he groped you with.”
“All things considered, I really couldn’t remember his face at this point so… I went with the part I enjoyed the most.”
“My my, do tell.”
“No, your hands are going nowhere near my pussy until you learn to keep your temper! Besides, I prefer your tongue down there. It lets me see colors that aren’t normally visible to me… and then removes them again. Wax on… wax off. It’s almost psychedelic!”
“Oh. I have shrooms, you know. They do things to the mind.”
“I like the sound of this!”
Well, create or save references I should say.
This dialog is excellent and makes all three characters way more interesting than they have been in the actual book!
Lol
I forgot to add but based on what someone else said in another chapter, I think it’s plausible this is part of the process of revealing that Feyre is actually a fae or something. One of the versions of Beauty and the Beast did make Beauty the niece of a fairy/the fairy that cursed him so whether they’re related or not, given her dad’s stupid words and Feyre being insufferable, I think this is just a very badly dropped hint (or everything else is so bad it’s hard to pick up on anything.)
Would have been more interesting if they’d boned, Feyre got the magic upgrade and then Tamlin was like “oops, didn’t know my jizz would do that to a human”.