Skip to content

Posted in Uncategorized

Dora the Explorer and her monkey friend, Boots, smiling and waving
“Oh no! Abuela es muerte! We need to go into the underworld to save her! Can you say Underworld? SAY UNDERWORLD!”

Dora and Boots walking. There is a tropical background.

“Who do we ask for help when we don’t know which way to go? The map! Say map! LOUDER!”

The Map screen from Dora The Explorer, which shows locations used in a random Dora adventure.

“When there’s a place you gotta go, I’m the one you need to know, I’m the map. If there’s a place you gotta get, I can get you there I bet, I’m the map! What’s my name? Say it again!

Dora and Boots need to rescue Abuela from the underworld. She’ll need to go across the river Styx…”

A highly detailed engraving of souls crossing the River Styx

“…past Cerberus the three-headed guard dog…”

A terrifying illustration of a skeletal, three-headed hound, with a large skull face looming in the background.

“…and into the mouth of Hades!”

A volcanic hellscape with clouds of ash, towering rock formations, and a river of blood-red lava.

“Tell Dora: Styx, Guard Dog, Mouth of Hades! Styx, Guard Dog, Mouth of Hades! Styx, Guard Dog, Mouth of Hades!”

Dora and Boots walking. There is a tropical background.
“Come on, vamanos! Everybody let’s go! Come on, let’s get to it, I know that we can do it!”

An ominous, hooded boatman poling his raft across the river.

“We need to pay the boatman to cross the river Styx. I think I have something in my backpack that will help. Can you say backpack? Say it LOUDER!”

Dora's Backpack friend.

“Backpack Backpack! Backpack Backpack! Yay! Dora needs something to pay the boatman, so she can cross the river Styx! Can you see something she can use to pay the boatman?”

An ancient coin.

“Yum yum yum yum yum! Delicioso!”

Dora and Boots walking. There is a tropical background.

“We made it all the way to Hades! Now, we just have to lead Abuela out! You have to look straight ahead and not look back! Can you look straight ahead and not look back?”

That sneaky fox, Swiper, is sneaking up on Dora and Boots from behind.

“Oh no, it’s that sneaky fox, Swiper! To keep Swiper from looking back and thus condemning Abuela to the City of the Damned for all eternity, say ‘Swiper, no looking back!’ Swiper, no looking back! Swiper, no looking back! Swiper no–”

Swiper by himself, doing his "aw shucks" hands thing.

“Awwww man!”

A wet, muddy, decomposing corpse.

“Abuela, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

The original picture of Dora and Boots smiling and waving, but I've photoshopped their smiles upside down.

A wet, muddy, decomposing corpse.

The original picture of Dora and Boots smiling and waving, but I've photoshopped their smiles upside down.

THE. END.

Did you enjoy this post?

Trout Nation content is always free, but you can help keep things going by making a small donation via Ko-fi!

Or, consider becoming a Patreon patron!

Here for the first time because you’re in quarantine and someone on Reddit recommended my Fifty Shades of Grey recaps? Welcome! Consider checking out my own take on the Billionaire BDSM genre, The Boss. Find it on AmazonB&NSmashwords, iBooks, and Radish!

8 Comments

  1. Anonymous
    Anonymous

    Oh. Oh my god. Oh. Oh my god. Oh. Oh my god. This may just be the finest piece of writing ever conceived. I need to actually get a Twitter so I can actually follow you, rather than randomly stalking your Twitter feed and religiously visiting your blog.

    April 14, 2013
    |Reply
  2. Words can not describe how disturbingly hilarious this is. I thank you. xx Jilly

    April 16, 2013
    |Reply
  3. Sherry
    Sherry

    You have managed to combine classic mythology and a much-hated children's show (gods, was I glad when she got out of that stage) to create…poetry. [applause]

    April 17, 2013
    |Reply
  4. … [Trackback]

    […] There you will find 26121 more Infos: jennytrout.com/?p=3702 […]

    February 5, 2014
    |Reply
  5. … [Trackback]

    […] Informations on that Topic: jennytrout.com/?p=3702 […]

    February 5, 2014
    |Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *