First of all, this is all Lori from Plainwell’s fault. See, she told me a lovely story about Robert Plant in the comments section of my “Fourteen Men Over Fifty” post. She says:
“i met robert plant when he came to wings stadium in the 80’s. he was lying shirtless in blue jeans on the grass hill behind the stadium. he was so nice and oh so golden godlike”
My New Year’s Resolution this year is to find the hill Lori spaketh of and roll around on it like a cat trying to get its hair all over my nice clean laundry because, hey, I don’t have anything better to do than lint roll seventeen Hot Topic t-shirts IT’S NOT LIKE I HAVE A JOB OR ANYTHING!
Okay, where was I going with this? Ah, yes. My New Year’s Resolution is to find this hill. I may take some grass clippings from it and preserve them carefully. I may try to do some kind of mythological spell to create a golem in his image, I might not. Let’s not condemn me until I think this through and consult some Rabbis, okay?
My other New Years Resolutions are, in descending order of importance, excluding my Circa-1980-Robert-Plant-Golem one are:
1. Finish “Heavenly Sword” for the PS3, even if the final boss battle is so frustrating and boring that I want to lob the wireless controller through my tv.
2. Do some more VS. battles for my blog.
3. Stop being mean to my neighbor’s dog. It’s not its fault it keeps crapping in my yard. It’s its owner’s fault.
4. Drive away neighbors, convince Eric Estrada to move in next door.
5. Launch new reality show, “I Live Next Door To Eric Estrada”.
That’s my resolve, people. That tests the limits of my resolve, right there. What are your resolutions, if any?
1. Create more chaos.
2. Ask the awkward questions (see #1)
3. Finish something sewing related (buttons do not count)
4. Stop thinking the clock radio numbers are jumping around and having a party just because my trifocals are playing tricks on me. (Yes, I am that old)
5. Boast that I don't need medications even though I am old (see #1)
6. Do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight (sorry, it's playing on my new favorite oldies station (see #4)
7. Forgive more. Nah, that negates #1 and 2.
There's my magic seven. Beats losing weight and getting out of debt and becoming a better public speaker. hey, done those. (see #1)
I have one resolution this year, not to make any. My past resolutions have been to lose weight, get outta debt, find a man and finish writing the few books I've started. I've gotten to the point that I don't give a crap about my weight, debt is always gonna be there, and I'm glad I haven't found a man yet. I like not having to answer to anyone.
Dude, Ponch?
Sweet.
I'd be over to you house all the time.
I break from the Heavenly Sword invincible final boss with long bouts of Assassin's Creed, in which I can effortlessly kill every living thing in the Holy Land if I so desire, despite my lack of a glorious red mane and wit-alicious dialogue in the latter…
OMG!! You mentioned ME in your blog. We really are BFF!! LOL.
I can show you the hill this summer because I doubt you would want to roll around in all the damn snow we got this week. Hopefully they havent done any additions to the building. I can even bring his autograph and the pen he used (of course I kept it)!!
oh and my resolution is to more fully be myself