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Wednesday Blogging: What I Would Buy If I Won A Million Dollars

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If I won a million dollars, I would be shocked. Because I don’t play the lottery. Casinos? I’m there all day long. I mean, not actually. I’m just expressing general approval, I’m not seriously going to the casino every day and spending all day there.

I would if I could.

So, aside from the obvious, “I would blow it all at the casino,” what would I do if I won a million dollars? Nothing that would probably excite you. I mean, one you pay the taxes on a million dollars, you’re really only walking away with like $600,000, depending on what state you’re in. I’m not poo-pooing that kind of money, I’m just saying, a million is not what it used to be.

So, keeping that in mind, here are the five things I would buy if I won a million dollars, after taxes and after I tucked some away into my money market account and i bonds:

1. A 2014 Mazda 3 5-door. In “titanium flash.” I really want this car. I could probably afford this car right now, but I would feel too guilty buying it right now, because we’ve got a 2006 Chevy Trailblazer I’m hoping to get to 300,000 miles on. Also, I don’t drive, so it would be indulgent to have two cars for one driver, as befitting my new status as gross-but-not-net millionaire.

2. I would pay my rent for a whole year. This is just practical. It gives me somewhere to live while:

3. I would buy a fixer-upper outright and work on fixing it up while living in the rent-paid-off-for-the-year house. That gives us time to do things right and get everything just the way we like it, in a home we’ll have no mortgage on at the end.

4. A food dehydrator. I know these aren’t that expensive, but I’ve never gotten the nerve to buy one. It just seems extravagant to me.

5. Probably more cosplay stuff. The one area of my life where I’m not horribly cheap and awful is cosplay. I’d love to splurge on some really good custom props or costume pieces, or just a bunch of wigs and wig-building material so I can play around.

Now that I’ve written this all out, I realize how painfully boring a person I must be in real life. So, pretend you never read any of this, and go read all the interesting answers other people gave, instead:

Jessica Jarman • Bronwyn Green • Kris Norris Leigh Jones • Gwendolyn Cease

 

33 Comments

  1. You ruined the million dollar dream with math, Jen. Math and taxes.

    Also, you should totally get a food dehydrator. One of the best gifts we’ve ever received.

    June 18, 2014
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  2. Ren
    Ren

    Doesn’t sound boring to me. A shiny mortgage free house that I’d done up just the way I wanted it? Yep, I’d take one of those 🙂 And a cat. I’d probably get a cat.

    June 18, 2014
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  3. Rebecca
    Rebecca

    I definitely read “foot dehydrator” at first, and spent a few minutes trying to figure out what that might be. Like, maybe she has problems with athlete’s foot…?

    And I didn’t know you cosplayed! You should post about that; I’ve never got a cosplay together myself, but I love seeing what other people do.

    June 18, 2014
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  4. Laina
    Laina

    Mine are boring XD Fix my teeth, maybe get a new laptop because mine’s old. Dishwasher. A house somewhere that isn’t here.

    June 18, 2014
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  5. Flo
    Flo

    I’d like to have my kitchen redone, and it would have two dishwashers so that I would never have a damned dirty dish on my kitchen counter!!! One would always be washing and the other for dirty dishes. Can you tell this drives me nuts?

    June 18, 2014
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  6. Suzy
    Suzy

    If you want exciting answers to this question, ask a teenager. Anyone with kids/houses/student loans/medical bills will give you really boring answers.
    I’d buy a small place in the country. Someplace within reasonable driving distance to work. Then I’d plant an orchard and garden, because I’m little Suzy Homemaker and I like to preserve stuff.
    I’d pay off debts and take the two trips I’ve been dreaming about Machu Pichu and India.
    The rest of the money which should be over 300,000 would go straight into investments. I want to retire at or before 60!

    June 18, 2014
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    • Lieke
      Lieke

      I’m young and stupid (well, 28 is maybe not that young anymore, but I’m still plenty stupid) and the stuff I’d do with a million is dullsville. I’d buy a tiny house with a tiny garden, because it’s just me. Then I’d get a dog, so it wouldn’t just be me anymore. And then I’d live off the interest of the rest of the money. I have zero idea whether this is even possible, but – dammit! – I’m gonna do it. You know, with the money I’m not gonna win because I don’t do lotteries or casinos.

      *ignores reality*

      I’d also probably buy some more books instead of thinking about and eventually deciding not to buy them. This is dumb because I already have too many books because I buy most of them second hand or I wait until they’re incredibly cheap. But now I’ll be able to buy them when they’re just out! Like the new Stephen King!

      But really it’s the idea of never having to worry about money ever again that’s the most appealing aspect to me about having that kind of money.

      June 21, 2014
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  7. Honey
    Honey

    I have been a proponent of food dehydrators. My two favourite uses are (1) save fruit that is just about to go off (it’s nice and sweet at this point, and if you dehydrate it you’re giving in multiple more weeks of shelf life, if it isn’t eaten in the mean time) and (2) beef jerky. Beef jerky to high heaven, my friend! Any kind of jerky, but beef is the king of jerky (but buffalo makes great jerky, too).

    Definitely worth the splurge!

    June 18, 2014
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  8. Akri
    Akri

    The way I look at it, spending the million on “boring” things just ensures that you can do fun things with money you get later. Sure, you could blow the million stridently on frivolous crap, but then once the money is gone you’re back to being frugal so that you can afford things like rent and food. But if you use the million to pay off all your debts then you’ll be able to take all the money you WERE spending on paying those debts, and use it to buy frivolous crap. You get to splurge on stuff constantly, as opposed to just one giant shopping trip.

    June 18, 2014
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    • Akri
      Akri

      “Stridently” should be “strictly”. Apparently my brain and my fingers are disagreeing about what words I’m trying to applejuice.

      June 18, 2014
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  9. Beckybeq
    Beckybeq

    Pay off the house. Then find a level-entry house in our neighborhood to purchase – then stash the rest. When my son (autistic) gets of age to want to live independently, the extra money would go toward keep & possibly an assistant.

    If he does better than our wildest dreams and doesn’t need assisted living (from my lips to God’s ear) then it would be used as housing for both kids when college comes up or as a home for my mother or MIL when they get older.

    June 18, 2014
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  10. Margot
    Margot

    Not boring at all. In fact i want to steal your rent and fixer upper house idea for my own.

    June 18, 2014
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  11. I’d rent a theatre in a large city and put on a retrospective of all my works. Even the ones that were terrible. Just so that I could say that all my scripts had been performed on a professional stage.

    June 18, 2014
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  12. I’d get a cute little house in the country, for me and my kitten, and a place near a school for students. And a not-too-expensive car.

    June 18, 2014
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  13. AmyR
    AmyR

    Mine’s boring too. I’d pay off our debts and do needed repairs on our crappy house that we overpaid for, then sell it and buy a nice house with a nice yard in the oh-so-close-geographically-but-oh-so-far-financially next town over. Seriously, there’s our tiny suburbia with gangs and drugs and lousy public schools, then walk down the block and you’re in a town with farmland and no (or very little) gang/drug trouble and top-ten-in-the-country public schools. My number one regret in life is not waiting another year or two to buy a house.

    June 18, 2014
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  14. Glorificus
    Glorificus

    Oh so practical. Pay off student loans. set aside a 50k or so for retirement/emergencies. set aside money for a car when ours eventually bites it. research my housing options: preferably buy land and build a not-so-big home or if it is a better option buy a house. my phone is glitchy as hell so a new phone. Furnish home. Out of money.

    June 18, 2014
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  15. Gwen Cease
    Gwen Cease

    I love that you’d spend it on cosplay stuff. That is awesome! You are my heroine.

    June 18, 2014
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  16. Amber
    Amber

    I’m all about numbers 4 and 5. I make beef jerky by the kilo and fruit leather you make yourself is both healthy and a delicious snack.

    Also I spent waaaay too much money on my steampunk outfit, but it’s pretty fucking amazing at this point. This year I went dressed up to the comic expo and got a picture with Bruce Campbell, who is probably the most hilarious celeb i’ve ever had the pleasure to shake hands with. He mocked my outfit, it was wonderful (if you know who he is, you know why). <3

    June 18, 2014
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  17. I live in a place that doesn’t tax lotto winnings, but I am insanely jealous that you live in a place where you could buy a house for less than 600,000 (or even less than a million) because that’s basically not possible here. You pay over a million for a place that looks like a crack shack. (You think I’m kidding. Try your hand at the Crack Shack or Mansion? game here: http://www.crackshackormansion.com/)

    So if I won a million I would pay off my debts, fix up my teeth (no dental is not covered in Canada unless it gets to “emergency you’re going to die” state), fix Mr. Katje’s car, pay rent for a year, and put the rest in high-interest savings in the hopes that someday I might have enough for a down payment that won’t saddle me with a mortgage till the end of time. Oh, and put 10K towards the wedding so I’m not stressing about paying for it/don’t have to DIY EVERYTHING/can buy a TARDIS for it. That would be my one non-boring use of the money.

    June 19, 2014
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    • Amanda
      Amanda

      That is horrifiying. We bought our house, that is on 2.5 acres for 95,000.

      June 19, 2014
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    • Stella
      Stella

      I feel like the Vancouver and London housing markets are kindred spirits. A million won’t get you a two-bed flat on my street.

      At least, not one you’d want to live in.

      (I’m renting, and I probably will be for the rest of my natural life.)

      June 20, 2014
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  18. Jon
    Jon

    I cannot but be reminded of the answer from the character Peter in Heathers when he is asked the lunch time poll.

    Jon

    June 19, 2014
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  19. Arti
    Arti

    I would pay off my credit card, get my SO’s car fixed (or maybe really splurge and buy them a new car), and buy a house. Or at least put a decent down payment on a house.

    June 21, 2014
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  20. I would remodel the inside of my mom’s house. Then I would buy the 130 year old brick house in town here that I’ve coveted since I was a girl. Then, if it was possible to move it without destroying it, I would move it out to the country. I would buy the land that sits above the lake behind the cemetery and move the house there, over-looking both the lake and the cemetery. But in order to win a million dollars playing the lottery, I need to actually better my chances of winning by PLAYING the lottery. Which I don’t.

    June 23, 2014
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  21. Me
    Me

    I’d pay off my student loans, buy a house, and with the rest buy a lot somewhere and make an animal sanctuary.
    It seems that people are always trying to help other people, but never think of helping the poor animals abandoned or allowed to reproduce with no control by shitty owners.
    So yeah…that’s what I’d do with a million bucks

    July 2, 2014
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  22. Julie
    Julie

    Like we used to say when we were kids: I’d buy a new ass, ’cause mine’s cracked. ;-p

    July 7, 2014
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  23. I know what I would do if I won’t a million. And I agree with you, million dollars “ain’t what it used to be.” But if people seen my list they would soon learn that I’m a very practical person, and they would think that I live a very boring life. Ha ha the reality about it is this I’m not a materialistic person I could live on 10,000 a year and be content or I can live on a million a year and be content. Money does not make a break my happiness. It just makes life easier. So without further ado here’s my list:

    #1. Pay taxes (the government always gets theirs first)
    #2. pay off all my bills. Which would total about $10,000.
    #3. Give $30,000 to my daughter for college. (trust me, I’m no fool, it would be an account issued to her for school only) if she plays her cards right she could have a little cash when she’s finished with school.
    #3. Pay rent for year I agree with you on that concept then I would be looking for a house remodel.
    #4. buy me new bedding and bath towels.
    I keep it simple. Little things make me happy. I’m sure there’s a lot of other things that will be so tempted to spend money on but to be honest they would be things that I would already need. It would not be anything lavish.

    Great blog post,
    Keep up the great work!
    LaDonna

    July 8, 2014
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  24. Julie
    Julie

    I would purchase a house, pay off, coincidentally, the Mazda 3 (in Titanium Flash. It’s a beautiful car, but on the edge of our affordability) my husband and I just bought because our other car was on the verge of death, pay off my school loans, and take my parents on a vacation.

    I owe them so much, and I will probably never be able to pay them back.

    July 10, 2014
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  25. Hey! I mentioned you on my post: wp.me/p49GDL-sz

    October 4, 2015
    |Reply

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