To say I am not a fan of 50 Shades of Grey is to say that the universe is kinda big, or that fire is slightly warm. Having spent two solid years of my life breaking down E.L. James’s blockbuster hit series, I consider myself something of a professional critic of the books and the phenomenon surrounding them. From its glaring similarities to Twilight (50 Shades of Grey is an unauthorized reimagining of Stephenie Meyer’s bestselling series), the depictions of unsafe and unrealistic BDSM practices, and the often-cringeworthy prose, there’s a lot to critique. But since the success of 50 Shades of Grey is driven almost entirely by female interest, is it anti-feminist to criticize it?
50 Shades of Grey isn’t just a literary copycat of Twilight, but a cultural copycat, as well. In its heyday, Twilight was lampooned not for its problematic content, but because of the audience it appealed to: teen girls and notably, the mothers of those girls, who were painted as humorously over-sexed cougars lusting after Robert Pattinson’s sparkly young flesh. And, like Twilight, 50 Shades of Grey should not go unexamined simply because it was created and consumed by women.
If you’re unfamiliar with the story, the titular Christian Grey is a young man whose every whim has been indulged by parents who rescued him from a toddlerhood of physical and sexual abuse. As a teenager, his violent behavior was curbed through regular molestation by one of his mother’s friends, who groomed him into a tightly-controlled sadist. He acts out his elaborate psychosexual issues on women who resemble his dead “crack whore” mother–women like the awkward, naive Anastasia Rose Steele. From the day Christian and Ana meet, he seeks total control over her, from asking her to sign a highly detailed sex contract (the terms of which are discussed as he plies Ana with alcohol), to deciding which gynecologist she will see (under his supervision, in his home) and what birth control method she will use. He isolates her from her friends and family, going so far as to follow her across the country uninvited when she visits her mother. He warns Ana that he’ll be able to find her no matter where she tries to run, and once they’re married he has her followed by a security team that reports her every move back to him. Since the story is told in first person point of view, the reader is privy to every moment that Ana fears Christian or his reactions–including during the poorly-executed and unsafe BDSM scenes that leave Ana weeping and confused. Throughout it all, Christian gaslights Ana into believing that his bad behavior is her responsibility, until she comes to the conclusion that her unhappiness is due to her failure to love him enough.
For some women, the themes of control and rape are not a fantasy. These women see their own abusive relationships echoed in the supposed love story of Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele, but efforts to have their voices heard have been roundly squashed by those who seem to believe that if women enjoy something, its feminism is above reproach. E.L. James herself has said she doesn’t like to hear about the comparisons between the abusive relationship she accidentally depicted in her novel and the abuse real life women have suffered, saying in a 2012 interview, “Nothing freaks me out more than people who say this is about domestic abuse. Bringing up my book in this context trivializes the issues, doing women who actually go through it a huge disservice. It also demonizes loads of women who enjoy this lifestyle, and ignores the many, many women who tell me they’ve found the books sexually empowering.”
There’s no doubt in my mind that much of our cultural finger-wagging over the book, and now the movie, is based on our persistent belief that women, especially women “of a certain age,” should not have, or are silly for having, sexual desires. Much like the historical romances that were labelled “bodice rippers” in the last decades of the twentieth century, 50 Shades of Grey and similarly-themed erotic romances have been christened “mummy porn.” The derogatory term takes a stab at the perceived audience of 50 Shades of Grey: bored middle-class housewives reading porn on their iPads during the kids’ soccer practice. The name, and the stereotype, are meant to belittle women who have experienced a sexual reawakening after marriage and motherhood; women who, we are told, should stop having any desire but the aching need to please a husband and 2.5 children once those kiddies are squeezed out. Dismissing 50 Shades of Grey as “bad” or “trash” simply because it appeals to a largely female audience is undeniably sexist, but there is valid criticism to be levied against the franchise by survivors and experts who are trying to contextualize the realities of intimate partner abuse within this cultural phenomenon. Whose voices are we expected to value more in this situation? The women defending their right to read what they please without derision, or the women who don’t want to see abuse romanticized?
If we want to talk about 50 Shades of Grey and our love affair with fantasies of control, we can do so without mocking female sexuality. Yes, 50 Shades of Grey has empowered women, but even those things that empower us are not exempt from criticism. Women are not being harmed when the dangerous messages and themes of the books are called out, but some will be harmed if these elements aren’t explored. So when you head out to the theatre next week, don’t snicker at the women who are there to see their sexual fantasies come to life on the screen. Trust me, there’ll be plenty of actual anti-feminist material to roast.
Honestly, I think it’s anti-feminist to enjoy this book. It’s poorly-written. It’s a romantic fantasy a freaking 13-year-old would have. I have no problem with and I even encourage women of all ages and types to explore and enjoy sexuality and sex. I’m all for it.
And I don’t have any issue with erotica. But come on. This? Really? This is the best they can find?
My circle of friends are perfectly comfortable with discussing and having sex and enjoying it. But I have very, very few friends who enjoyed this book (of the ones who read it — most refuse to bother). And that is because I am surrounded by intelligent women who want their minds stimulated as well as their … other parts.
I can forgive very young girls for liking this. They don’t know better. I re-read books I loved as a teen and young adult now and realize how bad they really are, so I get that. But full-grown women who know better? I fully admit that I will lose almost all respect for any adult who thinks these books are good. If they got you off and that was what you liked? Fine. But to tell me there is anything else redeeming about them? Sorry. We will have nothing further to discuss.
I also feel terribly sorry for the women who needed these books to learn to enjoy sex — and especially the ones who find them oh-so-racy. To go through life so sheltered is sad and I wonder about maturity levels.
I’m not going to get into numbers, but I’ll just say I am pretty damned experienced and I have never been with a man who wasn’t concerned about my pleasure as much as his.
I think women need to raise their standards if this is what attracts them.
This seems….unnecessarily harsh. Really, you “wonder about maturity levels” for women who don’t have any idea that sex can be enjoyable? I can understand pitying them, but treating them like children is doing them a disservice. In the area I grew up, we received abstinence-only sex education from school and absolutely nothing from home. My mother (still! even though I’m almost 30 and she’s almost 60!) cannot say the word “condom” out loud. I didn’t know I had a clit for YEARS and wouldn’t have known to do anything with it if my partner and I hadn’t found it while messing around. Thank god for the internet, because that went a long way toward teaching me that sex was neither the thing portrayed in terrible romance novels, nor something that would ruin me for life, like school and church taught.
But really, mocking women like I was doesn’t do anything to help us. Instead, maybe you should work toward advocating for better sex education. Or at the very least treating us like capable adults regardless of what kind of sex we’ve had.
I didn’t learn about sex from my mother or sex ed (though we didn’t have abstinence-only. It was very clinical and factual.).
I think if you have made it to 40 years old and you find this book romantic, you have a lot of growing up to do. Leave the sex out of it and look at it as a whole package — right down to the part where she and her BFF marry brothers.
Also, just because it isn’t your fault you were sheltered doesn’t mean you weren’t. These books are horrible. Period.
Brava Renee! I also don’t get the whole erotica angle in this book. It was practically non-existent, so I wonder how it could be considered “sexually liberating” when the sex was so badly described. The first romance novel I ever read had 3 sex scenes in it with the worst kind of purple prose and even THAT was better than anything E.L. wrote in 50.
What disturbs me the most is the refusal of the author to admit that Christian’s behavior is dangerous in the book. From personal experience, I have been in a similar relationship when I was around Ana’s age and seven years later that person still manages to intrude into my life. We dated for four months when, out of the blue, he started exhibiting bizarre possessive behavior. Like Christian, he didn’t like me socialize or talk to with any member of the opposite sex, even though as sports journalist that’s really hard to do. He started looking through my personal belongings for evidence of cheating or whatever he thought I was doing. Like Christian, he showed up unexpectedly (without me ever inviting him) when I was out of town on an assignment. It progressed from there. When we broke up, it got worse. One incident nearly came close to rape. His behavior was so bad that when the magazine where I used to work closed down, I moved from Barcelona to Madrid, and it still didn’t stop him. I then moved to the States, and guess what? He got a job here too, just in a different state. He emails from time to time and even followed me to Brazil this summer when I was analyzing World Cup matches there.
I just don’t like so-called erotic novels romanticizing this abusive behavior because, for me, it was one of the most horrific experiences in my life, which is not entirely over, it may never be. What’s sadder is that society offers little help for it. Law enforcement dragged their feet on this issue with me, and thought he wasn’t posing enough danger/threat. It killed my confidence in police. Some of my former friends thought it was romantic and that it proved he loved me. Clearly, I’m not friends with these people anymore, but this experience shows how little support there is when abuse is not physical. I wish the movie and the book would stop promoting this sort of crap as romance because it’s not. E.L. James would look more credible as a writer if she addressed these criticisms levied against the trilogy and not run from them. It may disturb her that some people see it differently from how she intended it to be, but that’s because she’s never been in a relationship like that. To her, it’s a fantasy, for others it’s a living nightmare. Her refusal to engage in meaningful discussion makes her complicit in this unsupportive, anti-feminist culture where men like that can get away with dangerous behavior as long as they call it ‘love’. It’s sad for our society that this is what sells and gets attention. Just sad.
Oh wow! That’s really scary. I dated a guy for seven months when I was 19 who was Christian Grey without the money (and probably not the looks, either). I don’t think much about him — I try to pretend I never knew him — but I still feel sick to my stomach every time something comes up that makes me think about him.
Thankfully, he didn’t turn into much of a stalker after we split, but I suspect that has more to do with some scary people I had around me. lol My mother is a seriously ferocious Mama Bear when she needs to be and my daughter’s aunt isn’t afraid to get into people’s faces and she took him on a couple times, after which he backed way off. Then I almost immediately started seeing a Marine who owned a lot of guns.
This exactly! I’m really sorry for your experience, Renee. I wish no one had to go through that, but so many women do and yet this is the stuff that gets praised as romantic by these ‘books’.
I think people have a certain stereotype that stalkers are these unattractive, weird guys with not much going for them; therefore, attractive, financially successful men get a pass on their inappropriate behavior while other men, who fit the stereotype more, don’t. Quite a few of my co-workers joked how they would have liked someone like my ex to stalk them because of his extremely good looks and the fact that it was common knowledge that he was quite wealthy (not anywhere near Christian Grey levels, but definitely well-connected). It seemed as though there was a common consensus that a man of his status and looks could get away with being a creep because it was off-set by his other desirable qualities, kind of like Christian Grey. All those things combined make it really difficult to use the law against them, especially in a place where they have so much influence.
Oh geez. I had a FWB thing going with a REALLY hot guy many moons ago and when I tried to end the B part of the relationship, he tried to rape me. I mean, he stopped himself (thank goodness), but it was scary until he came to his senses. I ran into him in a bar a few months later and I was with my best friend who had never met him. She said something to the effect that she didn’t care what he’d done because of how good-looking her was. :-/
And the idiot pulled me aside in the bar to try to convince me to stop by after closing. Yeah … that was gonna happen.
When I was with the other guy, I constantly had a knot in my stomach. If I even glanced in the general direction of another man, it was hours of fighting about how I was “staring” at the guy. I think I stayed after the first time only because it was so bizarre I didn’t think it could be real. Who acts like that? I had no autonomy. I was an adult and a mother and had to ask permission to breathe.
so i can expect to hear the news reports of you being shot by your new boyfriend any day now!!!!
What are you on about?
‘I also feel terribly sorry for the women…’
‘…I have never been with a man who wasn’t concerned about my pleasure as much as his.’
‘I think women need to raise their standards if this is what attracts them.’
Yes, this is the feminism we need. Tear down other women who don’t like what we like! We’re ~*~smarter~*~ than all those *other* girls!
I don’t care for science fiction. I could never get into it. I do not think there is anything wrong with the people (men or women) who enjoy it. Specifically, I can’t seem to get into Firefly, though I think it is a well-done show.
But, yes, I do think I’m smarter than anyone (man or woman — and there are plenty of men who sing these books’ praises) who thinks 50 Shades is “the best book I ever read.”
I have no issue with those who say, “Hey! it’s porn. It got me off. I’m good.” It is the ones who think this is some kind of great literature, well-written and a good story whom I take issue with.
It has nothing to do with, “You like something I don’t.” These books are bad. I also like some things I recognize are not high quality. The difference is, I know they are not high quality.
I agree. The book was heavily criticised not only for being poorly written but also for romanticising domestic violence. Kind of like the Twilight series in a way.
Bless you for this post. I was trying to discuss this subject the other day and you said everything here that I was trying to say but in a much more eloquent manner. It’s really hard to articulate my frustration with the mindset that all of the issues with the 50 shades series should necessarily be trumped by the fact that it’s this hugely popular franchise written by a woman, for women, with a woman director of the movie adaptation. I mean, yeah, that’s important, but at the same time… is it not disturbing to anyone else that something *so* throwback and messy in its depiction of women, relationships, and sexuality is resonating so much? I think this is definitely important to discuss, but the unfortunate reality is that most of the backlash outside my internet bubble (consisting mostly of women) ignores all of that and just hones in on the “mummy porn” angle (also, being American, the word “mummy” makes me think of bandaged dead Egyptians and then i start cracking up at the idea of porn about them. Though it probably exists and no, I’m not looking for it).
…I so want to write actual mummy porn now.
The sex would have to be *super* gentle and consensual – ancient flesh is brittle, you might snap something off! LOL
In 19th century England, actual mummy romance/adventure stories were actually a thing for a little bit. They’re pretty full of icky, Orientalist ideas about women and sex. (A little bit more info in this academic paper here, though be warned there’s some pretty horrifying treatment of human remains and some creepy racism therein.)
I don’t think people really grasp the danger of normalizing Christian’s behavior. We frame our social boundaries by what we see around us. Depicting red flag behavior like this as romantic and sexy helps to move those social boundaries to an unsafe territory, and it makes it really hard for women and men in situations of abuse to heed the red flags firing off in the back of their mind when the rest of society tells them, actually that’s romance.
Thank you. You are so right about society normalizing this sort of behavior. I wrote above about my experience with this situation, and everyone from certain friends to law enforcement wasn’t convinced my situation presented enough danger/threat to my well-being, even though that person’s behavior was full on Christian. It took years to actually get a restraining order and cease-and-desist letters, and that’s as far as anyone was willing to go.
Agreed.
When I was 17 I dated a man 11 years older than me and there was a massive power imbalance in that relationship. Gradually he made sure he controlled my every thought in some way or another. When it came to sex, if he wanted it we were having it. Didn’t matter what I thought or how I felt. And after some resistance on my part, I eventually stopped resisting most of the time. And it wasn’t the way some women who are raped will just try to dissociate and get it over with do that the assailant doesn’t hurt them further. Well, it wasn’t entirely like that. I told myself that if you love someone you do what they want even if you don’t want to. And I don’t think I consciously thought this, but my concept of this idea really meant that if the man wants to do something, the woman must give in. Almost never was it vice-versa.
But it’s really no wonder I thought this. I mean, I was young and incredibly naïve and sheltered which made me ripe for the picking for a guy like him, and all of that was an element of it. But also, all around me that’s the message I got. When a woman loves a man, she should move heaven and earth for him and do things she doesn’t necessarily want to do, even things she isn’t comfortable with, in order to make him happy. I got that message from church, books, movies, tv shows. Even the magazines I read were full of advice for “pleasin’ your man”, or keeping him happy, or simply keeping him.
When he started coercing me in to things and using the “wear her down” method to convince me that my main concern should be what he wanted, the job was already 75% done for him. He just needed to give a little extra push in what was expected of me.
This attitude made it so outrageously easy for him to abuse me. When he met me I was basically a victim in the making. And the more women eat up and encourage stories like 50SoG the more society and pop-culture are doing a huge part of the job for abusers. Not talking about it, not addressing these issues, means that there will be that many more women and girls made in to sitting ducks.
Well said.
fiction!
I read the books when some of my friends, who I knew weren’t big readers, couldn’t stop talking about them. I was just so happy they were reading and I decided to see what in the world it was that got all of them to do so. After reading these terrible things, I asked them all what it was about them that they loved so much. The sexy stuff, of course. The fact that the sexy stuff wasn’t sexy at all made me sad. So, I decided to fight fire with fire and gave them actual GOOD erotica to read (including Jenny’s own stuff)and found that was the best thing I could’ve done. After reading quality “mummy porn” they saw the 50 books for the dreck that they were and have gone on to recommend excellent erotica to me and now everyone is happy. I’m still thankful that these tragic books got them reading again – and I’m glad that I figured out a way to keep them reading better quality stuff.
I literally JUST recommended Jenny’s The Boss series to a coworker after she mentioned 50SofG. If people are looking to widen their horizons in terms of sexuality through literature, that’s great– I just hope they know where to look!
See, and I think this is a large part of 50SoG’s popularity.
I get the impression that a large portion of the women reading them aren’t the types to read for pleasure often. If you don’t read novels often, especially not ones with romantic plots geared towards women (not even necessarily Romance or Erotica books), I can see where someone wouldn’t realize the sex in the book is poorly written and fairly dull. They especially wouldn’t realize how unsafe and unrealistic the BDSM portrayal is.
So for a lot of women the fact that the book goes in to any kind of detail about sex is unusual and exciting.
I think trying to get 50SoG fans to read books about healthy relationships with good sex scenes (not to mention good writing) is a great way to get through to them how bad these books are on so many levels. It’s also good in and of itself to help friends find books they enjoy, and if it helps them start to see through the bad writing and storyline that glorifies abuse in 50SoG and other books like it, all the better.
This is exactly the explanation for the phenomenon, IMO. Personally, I read a lot of fiction, but hadn’t ever really dipped my toes into the whole romance/erotica genre up until around when 50 Shades came out. (This was just a reading preference — had nothing to do with any kind of sexual repression IRL since that could not be further from the case.) I read 50 Shades, then, out of curiosity, and while I couldn’t find anything redeeming in the actual prose or quality of the storyline, I was titillated enough by the sexual scenes that I understood how, if women weren’t used to reading anything of this nature (and, in general, are pressured to hide their sexualities), that this book’s mainstream acceptance could be an exciting thing.
But, as one thing leads to another, my friends and I then came across recommendations for much better romance and erotica as part of the backlash and, some time later, here we are, much enlightened, and the sex scenes in 50 Shades do read as laughably bad. So unsurprisingly, just as with sex itself, experience counts for something. My reaction now to women who revere 50 Shades is, then, less likely to be contempt and more likely to be “Well, sure, but you should try [recommendation].”
Actually, most of the criticism I’ve about seen about both Twilight* and Fifty Shades of Grey has been from a feminist perspective and about how both series promote negative gender stereotypes. It pisses me off to no end when Twihards and Fifty Shaders say that people who don’t like the books are just meanie-pants who don’t like icky girl things. I’m a woman, and I want more realistic and non-abusive romances and erotica for women, even if I don’t read the genre myself.
* Twilight promotes stalking and unhealthy relationships too, but it’s not as blatantly abusive as Fifty Shades. Fifty Shades is so bad it makes me defend Twilight in comparison.
why do you think abusive romance isn’t realistic?
I think exoticism plays a large role in the popularity of 50 Shades. The women who enjoy these books are, for the most part, not very familiar with real BDSM (or they would notice how inaccurately it is depicted by E.L. James). I suspect that most of the books’ fans have no interest in genuinely experiencing BDSM, just as most of the women who enjoy sheikh romance have no interest in visiting the real-world Middle East. While I agree that the public needs to be made aware that Christian Grey’s behavior is abusive and criminal, I am not convinced that the books (and movie) will have the effect of normalizing that behavior, since I believe that much of the enjoyment comes from knowing that it is abnormal. I think it should be considered a horror/thriller more than a romance. The horror genre also routinely depicts misogynistic violence and reactionary, anti-feminist morality.
Fifteen years ago I wrote a college paper on the cultural influence of The Flame and the Flower, a hugely popular 1972 romance novel by Kathleen E. Woodiwiss that features a rapist “hero”. Like ‘Fifty Shades’, there was a lot of pearl-clutching analysis of what The Flame and the Flower‘s success meant. (Was it because it was one of the first full-length romances to be published in paperback? Were the women of 1972 secretly longing to be dominated? Was America zooming down the fast lane to Hell? That kind of crap.) Anyway, I’m reminded of that paper when I read analysis of Fifty Shades, because I’m pretty sure most people read it for the same reasons they read The Flame and the Flower: it was available everywhere, it had exotic/abnormal sex in it, and, while it was explicitly R-rated, people didn’t need to actually go into, like, a skeezy sex shop to buy it. Mystery solved, you know?
i hate intelligent women. especially when they are right ;-(
Elinor-
“…I am not convinced that the books (and movie) will have the effect of normalizing that behavior, since I believe that much of the enjoyment comes from knowing that it is abnormal. I think it should be considered a horror/thriller more than a romance. The horror genre also routinely depicts misogynistic violence and reactionary, anti-feminist morality.”
But it’s not a horror/thriller. It’s not written that way, it’s not labelled that way and it is certainly not marketed that way. It’s depicted and marketed not just as a romance, but as the romance. It touted as being the relationship every woman wants with the man every woman wants. It’s a fantasy relationship. It’s marketed and talked about exactly as if this relationship is the ideal, that it’s what women should strive for in a relationship. Not just the filthy-stinking-rich handsome-as-hell boyfriend that can whisk you off to exotic locales at the snap of his fingers, but the whole package. Every abusive detail.
The actual marketing and advertising for the books, and now the movie, as well as the hype kicked up by fans is normalizing this abusive relationship. It basically announces “Women, this is what you should want and Men, this is what you should be.” It an unhealthy and very, very dangerous message to broadcast.
Indeed. I would have zero problems with FSoG if it acknowledged the abusiveness of the Ana/Christian relationship, but it does the opposite. This is THE relationship, THE sex and THE guy. It’s all portrayed as super awesome and that’s just disturbing.
It’s like if The Shining was exactly the same book/movie except the material (and every effing character in it) insisted that Jack was the best father, with the best job and didn’t they all just have the most wonderful vacation ever? I mean, WTF.
I feel like a quasi 50 shades expert too… I started following your recaps from the very beginning, and since then I’ve read the pervocracy’s recaps and now I’m watching Mark Oshiro read it on youtube after someone on here mentioned his were great. (They are, by the way, he’s fantastic and appropriately horrified in the proper places.) I don’t know why I haven’t gotten bored with picking it apart yet, I guess there’s just SO MUCH in 50 shades that’s always freshly horrifying.
I think the audience going frothers for Chedward is so sad, and brings the idea to mind, “I didn’t know everyone treated me like shit until someone showed me respect.” GOOD feminist porn is exhausting to search for and there’s so many horrifying wrong turns you might take to find it. The accessibility and popularity of 50 shades makes it easy for women to finally have something- ANYTHING- that is “supposed” to cater toward their sexual interests. It’s sad we’re so deprived that this looks good to us. It’s even sadder that this predatory romantic behavior is so normalized that- to the ignorant- the worst parts of Christian can just be written off as “bdsm.”
I’m glad you made this post, Jenny. Not every woman is knowledgeable about these issues, and not every woman cares about how well-written her porn is or where it comes from. (Not me, I do!!) But every woman still deserves respect and someday I hope our porn is so fantastic that everyone tears up their copies of 50 shades to use as toilet paper. Because FUCK CHRISTIAN GREY.
Fuck Christian Grey with a C4 buttplug.
Just wondering, why would anyone want to fuck him? Sounds kind of… counterintuitive.
Aside from the joke, though, the idea that people can actually find the sort of abuse that Christian puts Ana through romantic is, in fact, mortifying, and I’m glad that more people are recognizing this. That the quality of writing is so terrible helps… about none. Pretty much the only way I’d ever involve myself with this book is if the Gilbert Gottfried audiobook thing was real. As it were, it’s not, so I won’t.
^^This. Although there is a Steve Buscemi trailer edit out there (or, you know, here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnGX4FuIK60 ) that puts some of it into perspective.
I always maintained that the only way I’d go see the movie is if Christian Gray were played by the only color who can really give the role the tone it deserves–Jack Black.
However, I do wonder how much of it is the unconscious idea that money excuses everything. If Grey were a cabdriver or a factory worker or a balding accountant who’s thick around the middle, how much of his behavior would be swoony-romantic to the 50 audience?
Thank you! I was feeling kind of bad for being so fascinated by these damn books. They are books I love to hate, in a way, and have read Jenny’s recaps of them too many times. But I think the way you put it was basically the way I feel; there are just SO many horrible things about these books and talking about it with people who understand is just endlessly fascinating to me.
[…] “Dismissing 50 Shades of Grey as “bad” or “trash” simply because it appeals to a largely female audience is undeniably sexist, but there is valid criticism to be levied against the franchise by survivors and experts who are trying to contextualize the realities of intimate partner abuse within this cultural phenomenon. Whose voices are we expected to value more in this situation? The women defending their right to read what they please without derision, or the women who don’t want to see abuse romanticized?” 50 Shades and Anti-Feminist Critique […]
I appreciate this post. I’ve been trying to say this for years, but get shot down by various people who just want to scream loudly about how poorly-written these books are. But uhm, bad books (even popular bad books) aren’t a new phenomenon. Lots of male authors write terrible books but where are the tumblrs, twitter feeds, and blog recaps dissecting everything they say? I remember some guy in class going on and on about how these YA books just prove how stupid we’ve (he meant women) have become, meanwhile he loved Bret Easton Ellis.
Obviously, being here, I’ve loved your critique of the books, but I’ve always felt yours was about the feminism (or lack of) in them. I think a lot of the criticism is sexist, by men who want to hate on women in general and Cool Girls who desperately want men to see how “smart” they are. I doubt any of the men who cringe at 50 shades or Twilight have read it or even know what they’re talking about.
There’s an easy experiment to prove this point…Google ‘Best Authors’ and count the number of female authors you see. The first list I found contained two female authors – Virginia Wolf and Agatha Christie. So where are the female writers!? There were definitely more than two! Okay, now Google ‘Worst Authors.’ Oh, there they are. Here women are the overwhelming majority. Obviously, someone’s personal blog or Huffpo or NY Times (the few I found) aren’t the end all truth of the matter, but it just shows the piss-poor attitudes we have about men and women.
A very interesting read.
I never once thought that #50Shades was representative of the BDSM Community. I don’t really consider it Erotica either.
I didn’t Love the series, but i did like parts of it.
It has always been fiction and not reality to me.
In the same realm i hold the Beauty series by Anne Rice.
.. and damn it! If any ladies out there are in relationships like this, “Get Out Now!” Even if you think it’s bdsm, s/m..etc.
This is not Healthy. and if Kink is your thing.
Many fetish Communities have 101 Classes on what is Safe, What Kink is and isn’t.
50SoG is as feminist as the Republican party, which is none at all.
This book shows a young woman stripped from all her autonomy and control. It has a negative view towards women that arent’t “innocent” or “virginal” like Ana. It shows BDSM as a bad thing and the only female Domme that could have made the book even slightly feminist is a rapist.
I don’t understand the fascination people have with this book/movie. What’s so empowering about a heroine that can’t even think for herself? It’s just telling women to be good girls and let men boss them around.
I think there’s a real issue in cultural criticism and books in particular about framing an argument that isn’t simply black and white (I know this is ready made for a ‘shades of grey’ joke) but rather looks at the issues raised as a whole. I take part in a book discussion group that recently completed a road through of Outlander and I watched a similar type of discussion take place around the *spoilers* episode where Jamie hits Clare with a belt. While some people came down on the side of being totally unable to get behind a book where this was present, others used the ‘historical accuracy’ argument to justify his behaviour (One comment that left me open mouthed was when a person argued that Jamie had hit her with a belt rather than his fist). For me, Oulander was a essentially a book that I had a variety of repsonses to; on the one hand the depiction of male rape was powerful and shocking, on the other I hated the part where Jamie hit Clare.
The same issues have been borne out with 50 Shades with fans of the books denying any and all problems with the text. Is it a good thing that large number of women read a book that concerned female sexual desire written by a women? Absolutely and as much as ‘Mommy porn’ was used to decry and debase this, the fact that it opened up a dialogue for some women was a good thing. Did that fact make the book perfect and free from any and all issues? Absolutely not. To raise the problematic aspects of this texts isn’t to deny the fact that it opened up the market or the discussion of women’s sexuality that surrounded it. It is possible, surely, to have a reasoned discussion of the problematic areas of this text (of which there are many) without the dogmatic ‘you’re not a feminist of you critique a book written by a woman for a largely female audience’. I think this is ultimatley about the ability to engage in a nuanced discussion of something without resorting to polarization that simply shut down the debate. This has always been one of my issues with EL James. It’s not simply that she wrote a ‘bad’ (or ‘good’ depending on your perspective) book, it’s that in the aftermath, she not only refused to engage with anyone (specifically abuse survivors) about problematic stuff but she seemed to actively take on the mantle of some kind of sex guru; talking explicitly about the ways she felt her book had helped women express and investigate their sexuality while endorsing lines of sex toys etc. I would have had way more time and respect for the woman had she come out and said “look guys this is my first novel and it’s a work of fiction NOT a ‘how to’ guide for either relationships or BDSM. I’m glad it’s got a conversation started but there are issues here which should be looked at and not idealized away’. The whole debate about 50 Shades would have been better if it never hit a them (those who think it’s great) and us (those who don’t) scenario. Unfortunately EL James has never been able to do this and as a result has inevitably contributed to the ongoing polarization of the discussion.
@Petra,
I’m glad you pointed out that about E.L. James because that’s the main problem I have with her as an author: she shuts down any nuanced discussion/criticism of Grey’s behavior and acts all horrified when his disturbing actions (outside of bedroom) are called abusive. She allows the media to falsely promote it as an ideal love story where a woman feels liberated to explore her sexuality with her dream man. Maybe if she had used an actual editor, it would have come off the way she had envisioned it, or the way she still sees it. I guess she just doesn’t care as long as it’s popular and profitable.
Her defensiveness is textbook amateur author (amateur anything, really). Of course it stings when there is criticism of something you’ve created, but a professional author would know how to separate valid critique from white noise and address that if necessary. Her response is prototypical “You’re just jealous of this popular thing I made and if everyone else loves it so much that just means you’re wrong.”
There are plenty of ways to raise those issues and have those discussions without basing them around a piece of fiction that glorifies and romanticizes debasing women.
It’s not anti-feminist to criticize works that do nothing to empower women in any real way, even if they’re created by and loved by women.
It’s not empowering to have the desire to be sexually dominated awakened.
This author is buying into and selling the MALE fantasy of what it means to be an empowered woman.
It’s hard to blame her. She was brainwashed just like the rest of us. The insane popularity of this book *could* empower women, if only they’d understand that their passion for it is a measure of just how brainwashed they’ve been too. Then, perhaps, they’d see the emperor has no clothes and they’d be on the way to getting truly liberated.
Unless and until women are willing to *examine* and question the titillation they experience at the thought of being treated in such demeaning and abusive ways, we’ll get nowhere.
Men will continue to get mixed messages from women who have been brainwashed from birth to see themselves in the role a male-dominated society has defined for them, and who, at the same time, feel their innate wisdom struggling against its limitations when they seek to define what it means to be a woman on their own terms.
No wonder so many women who strive to fulfill that role continually feel they’ve fallen short. It’s not that they’re too little or not good enough, but that they are far, far more and better than the restrictive outlines designated for them.
At least we no longer live in the age when doctors listened with half an ear to women trying to express their discontent and confusion, while scribbling a prescription for Valium to shut them up and keep their husbands happy.
@BeaM
“It’s not empowering to have the desire to be sexually dominated ”
I think this statement is unfair. It is entirely possible to be an empowered, feminist woman, and enjoy sexual domination is some way, shape or form. And there are a lot of forms it can take.
And believe it or not, for some women being sexually dominated in some way is empowering to them.
There are a lot of issues with the 50SoG series and those issues should be talked about, but shaming other women and trying to police their fantasies and sexuality is not one of those topics.
Like I said, there are ways that sexual domination can be empowering. And if the sex is between two partners with mutual respect for one another, that consent fully, I don’t think there’s many situations where people outside the relationship should shame or belittle them for what they like.
Part of the problem with the sex in 50SoG is that when it comes to submission and domination, Ana was entirely incapable of giving consent. She couldn’t give informed consent in the beginning and as the story went on there was such a massive power imbalance that she still wasn’t capable of fully consenting.
Women face enough shaming and thought-policing. We shouldn’t be adding to the pile by shaming women for their own personal fantasies nor for what they do in their bedrooms with a consenting partner.
There’s lots and lots of media that definitely falls into the category of male fantasy of Empowered Women — most female superhero characters, a lot of the female characters in action movies, too many to list — but I have a hard time seeing anything about Ana that could be described as “empowered” in any context. Even the most heavily objectified, fanboy-baiting Kickass Bad Girl characters are usually presented with some pretense of autonomy and professional competence. Ana just seems eternally cowed and terrified. She doesn’t even think she’s empowered and there’s certainly no reason the reader would.
(Something that’s particularly disturbing about this franchise is that as far as I can see, there’s never any real suggestion that Ana is having any fun. Even the material wealth aspects (fancy cars, big houses, expensive clothes, helicopter rides), which you’d expect to have some wish fulfillment juice, seem really joyless because anything she gets is always couched in scary, creepy, control-freak terms. Again, even Ana sees the stuff that way; there’s obviously a long soap opera tradition of characters’ wealth not impeding their capacity for angst, but here the wealth is constantly portrayed as something she feels awful about.)
I wish I could “like” or recommend comments, because I would do the hell out of this one. Anastasia does not seem to have any fun at all – she’s so endlessly _pained_ about everything. It reminds me of one of Jenny’s observations in the recaps – reading this, I have no idea whatsoever why these people even LIKE each other. They’re clearly physically attracted to each other, but beyond the physical, what are they drawn by? Why do they fall in love (despite the common novel convention where characters tend to have to fall in love in a small amount of pages)? What in the world do they even have to talk about?
Seriously. The popularity of these books would be easier to understand if it seemed like Ana were ever having a good time, even if it were in some way that was really problematic or troubling (like if she felt comforted or reassured by Christian’s constant surveillance or if their BDSM encounters made her feel at all tingly rather than wanting to sob). The world is littered with romantic fiction that glorifies various sorts of scary or aberrant behavior, but I’m not sure the books can even be said to glorify it — the scary, ugly stuff feels scary and ugly and Ana perceives it as such.
Even the most moralistic cautionary tales about the wages of sin usually make the sin seem more fun than this…
In case you miss seeing the comment I posted on the first of your analytical essays on 50 Shades, this is what I posted today on FB:
“Cognitive dissonance:
– Apparently increasing societal recognition of the need to address and arrest violence against/subjugation of women.
– Overwhelming sales of a book and soon-to-be movie (primarily to women) about a woman willingly entering into a relationship that glorifies violence against/subjugation of women.
I’m with the guys on this one, ladies — you’re sending mixed messages!”
At which point an astute friend of mine insisted (gently, but persistently) that I follow his link to your blog. I’m so glad he did. Only through Chapter 3 – had no idea you devoted so much time to the effort. It’s a testament to the level of your emotion about the book itself (which I have not and never will read/see on the screen).
I’m glad to see you take up the issue of its message in such a succinct and well-reasoned essay.
The degree to which women fawn over this fictional character and fantasize about being controlled or dominated by him as sexually arousing is a clear indication of how very far we women have to go before we’re free of the masculine version of femininity as submissive and weak.
On the one hand, I really dislike these books, terribly written and over-hyped. On the other hand, I hate that they are categorically trivialized as “mommy-porn”. Not that they deserve a more redeeming title, but it does speak to how easily society trivializes the concept of female sexuality.
This may be strictly a North American issue, but I can recall as a child (I am only in my 30s), the worse thing you could accuse a girl on the school yard was of masturbating. No girl would admit to that, it was used as a term to outcast. Of course, the same standard didn’t hold for the boys. And this persisted, I knew women in their teens and 20s who couldn’t admit to masturbating. If we can’t discuss something as sexually normal as female self-pleasure, I think it speaks to major problems as to what we are taught about female sexuality.
Perhaps that’s why I had such a harsh reaction to Anna saying she did not masturbate in the scene where her and Christian first sleep together. I think it normalizes this backwards attitude. So, in these terms, the success of the books always made sense to me. If there’s a large portion of the female population out there who can’t say the word masturbate without blushing, and a book like this comes along that becomes “socially acceptable to read”, for these women this would feel liberating. I think the dialogue now should be to explore why they find it liberating and titillating. Women are taught a very repressive side of sexuality, and I think we can use these books as a platform to discuss why that is. But by all means, we must also put that in context by discussing the darker, abusive themes that are so clearly evident. I think it would be anti-feminist to not explore every side of the dialogue. In my mind, this is not strictly a women’s issue, but a more general issue as to how society frames sexuality.
One thing to be said about the books, my wife has become adventuresome!
When discussing the books, I generally bring up a) “You know, it started as Twilight fan fiction,” and b) “The writing is just so bad! James hardly knows the difference between a verb and a noun!”
These true tenets cause people to reply, “Fan fiction! Ugh!” and “Yeah, the writing is pretty bad…” and we go from there. I then work in the rapiness, creepiness, etc. By that time, nothing can be seen as an attack on naive/sheltered/not-well-read women, and we end up agreeing the 50s aren’t really very good at all.
Actually TELLING an adult woman that she’s a naive dumbass Republican is about the most unhelpful approach to the books. Sure, tell them that the exotic wealth and accoutrements Christian has that are described so lovingly (First-edition books! A fabulous apartment! The helicopter!) are standards of genre fiction also seen in the Bond books, the (gag) output of Dan Brown, Patricia Cornwell, and others who pad out their nonsense with long descriptions of unusual toys. Mention the most improbable facts about Ana–not owning a computer even though she begins as a college student, not having her own email addy ditto, never returning that darn plum dress–and the reader will nod agreeably–“yeah, that does seem unrealistic!” Not to mention her dizzying ascent in the publishing biz–“wow, yeah, that’s weird!” Work in the Ana/Mia angle and most women will be appalled.
You don’t have to insult someone’s sexuality to destroy this “phenom,” is what I’m sayin’.
Good point. Thanks for mentioning that Quint&Jesse
Story time! We passed around those Woodiwiss, Lindsey, Bertrice Small books around like mono in college. Every girl read ’em, many guys knew about them. So after a college dance (do they still have those? or just boring raves like in the Apolonia mess?), my date came up to the room with me. Very nice, some making out, well, it’s time to go, and I stood up and so did he and then he ripped my dress right down the front! “What the fucking hell are you DOING?” I screeched. “But I thought you girls like that, it’s in all the books,” he replied, looking shaken. “What the—” invectives, his questionable ancestry, his IQ, all yelled out of my mouth. My roomie, who was down the hall, heard the commotion, came in, I apprised her of the sitch, and she joined in the yelling. We yelled him out of the room.
So, yes, bad littacher can be problematic.
I really, really like this post. I am so sick of talking about FSoG at this point, and I’m, like, extra double-plus sick of two of the particular criticisms of it. The “omg it’s so badly written, women who like it must be super dumb!” and the “that’s not real BDSM because real BDSM is never ever abusive!”
I think it is really, super important to talk about what’s wrong with FSoG (though I personally would like a break from talking about it at all just for a little while), but not to just paint it all with a broad, dismissive brush as “mommy porn” or “not what a real Dom does.” Or, for that matter, that all BDSM is inherently oppressive.
So seriously, this post is great. And, for that matter, the entire Boss series is really great because it addresses so many of these issues right in the plot.
I have to clarify that I’m one of those people who says “real BDSM is never, ever abusive,” but it’s in a specific context. Because of all the confusion I’ve seen over this book and the hoopla around it, I’ve started specifying that while there can definitely be abuse in a relationship that includes BDSM, BDSM isn’t abuse simply because once it becomes abuse, it is no longer BDSM. And I say that because I feel like it’s so super dangerous to not draw that line and say, “This is what BDSM is, and this is what abuse is,” because of the number of people who get involved and do have that Dom that abuses them, and they’re thinking, “Well, it’s BDSM.”
I know a lot of people say “Oh, that’s a ‘no true Scotsman,'” but I just think it’s an important line to draw, that a “Dom” can be an abuser and a bad Dom (or a sub can be an abuser too, let’s not count that out, either), but that their abusive actions are definitely not BDSM, even if it’s being justified that way by the abuser. It’s just abuse.
And I’m very happy that you use “so super important” in your comment because I say “so super” ever adjective ever and now I feel less alone.
I love reading your blog even more every time you write something like this. It sums up all the angles so perfectly.
During a recent long car journey with a male colleague we started discussing ’50 Shades’, something he knew little about. I have only read the free download, when it was MotU, so may be misrememberating (as they say in Wicked). He asked, ‘I guess the sex is really graphic then?’ I said it was anything but, and that Ana referred to her vagina/labia/clitoris as ‘down there’, was a virgin and sexually inexperienced. After a minute of thought he said ‘So, it sounds to me that she is basically a child, and it seems like the kind of book that paedos whack-off to.’
I am so naive, and was seriously disturbed by his take on it, and hadn’t thought of that at all, but I think I should have.
So… everyone should watch “Elders react to 50 Shades of Grey” on YouTube.
Long time lurker. You’ve probably already seen this but I <3 this so much!
http://shipsandpolitics.tumblr.com/post/110380989183/valley-guy-zohbugg-cleolinda-cinematicnomad
Yay the boss! Boo E.L. James you cocking snatch monkey!
I agree on many points with you. From my perspective, I feel the more urgent problem is our collective inability to accept 50 Shades as porn. We try and pretend 50 Shades has to reach a higher standard to be respected because we are unable to accept women can indulge in sexual fantasies.
Vincent, I’m a woman who reads smut and writes smut for fun. I absolutely think female fantasies are important and that normalizing them is crucial to treating women as equal to men. While I know some people mock 50SoG for that, the actual more urgent problem is really that this is just one more popular piece of media that glorifies and idealizes rape culture and abuse as love. If 50SoG was still at this level of quality as far as writing and general silliness without the emotional abuse, coersion and unhealthy BDSM practices, there wouldn’t be a problem. But those are all huge aspects to the book and you can’t separate that from the silliness when critiquing the series.
Thanks for that, Gem. Mara Wilson is awesome.
With all the money she’s made, doesn’t EL James have a publicist or agent to tell her to stop starting shit with people for making valid criticisms like a petty, immature fuckwit?
I wasn’t sure where to post this, but I thought you might enjoy it. It’s an ad made by an australian betting company that helps with Greyhound rescue/rehoming!
Ima just leave this here:
Dearest Trout Nation,
Thank you for pisting the thoughtful article and all of the thoughtful comments. Good to read.
I LIVE IN Vantucky, what some natives here call Vancouver, Washington state. In fact, I live in East Vantucky, near the satellite campus of Clark College where the mythic misguided professor of misogeny teaches.
I live here. In the midst of an historically founded city based on the Hudson Bay Trading Company’s Fort Vancouver of centuries ago. (See Wiki – Ft Vancouver Hudson’s Bay Co)
I live here. This is how I can tell that the 50 – Grey is indeed a fantasy as well as destructive and inaccurate drivel written and distributed for one purpose only: MONEY.
So buy and read, buy and watch. Consume and be captivated and appalled. It is all about the money. All of it.
I’ve also been to Forks Washington, home of the faith-based vampires.
They arent there.
Amazing.
Come to Washington State for the still wild beauty and the great people.
Not one of THOSE authors live here. Just us.
Sincerely ,
East Vantucky Woman
WILL YOU PLEASE CORRECT THE SPELLING OF POSTING?
TYPO I typed pisting not posting
THANK YOU
why is it every time I make a comment it does not get published. honestly you are as bad as feminist current
I don’t moderate my own comments, so I couldn’t tell you.
the main point nobody has made here? women enjoy fiction too. really, it’s just fiction you radical feminists. nobody actually takes it seriously. please, just get a grip!!!!!
if women didn’t have the right to an education, these books would never have been written. so feminists who hate them……….BLAME YOURSELVES!!!!!!!!!! 🙂
You have been coming to this post for a year now. You need to find a new hobby and get the fuck out of here.