So, we left off with everyone deciding that they need to get to a radio station that will, realistically, be of absolutely no use to them, for reasons more than explained by Trout Nation resident experts in the comments section last time. Thank you to everyone who took the time to teach us a lesson in radio communications, by the way, that was fantastic!
Trout Nation Posts
There’s like, filth and suicide/torture imagery, but it was the 90’s.
There’s not a lot I can say. I’m a Bowie fan. His work touched me the way it touched millions. I don’t know anything about the guy, and I’m not going to be like, “He was such a good person,” because I have no clue. But I do know that his mystique and persona and art did a lot for a kid in Catholic high school who wasn’t quite sure what was wrong with her mental health or her confusing sexuality.
Legion XIII Rome Watch-Along S01E06: “Egeria” or “Get in, loser, we’re going to Greece.”
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Quick rundown of the episode: Lucius Vorenus has had about enough of two of his houseguests: his sister-in-law who’s perpetually crying about her missing, probably dead, husband, and his BFF Titus Pullo, who keeps going around treating slaves like people. Meanwhile, Mark Antony is running Rome the way Trump is going to run the White House, with threats, intimidation, and hideous decorating sense. He’s making it clear to enemies and resisters to Caesar’s rule that he’ll weaponize the senate, have them murdered, and marry their wives.
Vorena the Elder still has her mother over a barrel with the whole “I know you fucked my uncle and this baby isn’t mine” thing, which is really contributing to the household tension that’s driving Vorenus to drink. Pullo dissuades Vorenus from beating Niobe, suggesting the pair divorce, instead. But Vorenus isn’t down with that. So instead, Pullo tells Lyde that he’s asked around and it turns out that her husband is dead, but hey, it’s not so bad, you’ve still got people who love you. It’s very clear that what he’s saying to both Lyde and Niobe is that they need to be careful, and not let Evander’s death become the thing that unravels their whole secret. We get a little more insight to what happened between Evander and Niobe, and it’s starting to sound like Niobe slept with Evander for his money, and the fact that he wanted a child motivated him into doing it. I guess maybe their plan was to wean the baby and then Lyde and Evander would take it? I don’t know, they don’t cover that.
At Atia’s house, she’s thinking of sending Octavian away to fight in Greece. But the more pressing issue is he still hasn’t “penetrated” anyone. She tells Titus Pullo to take Octavian to a brothel, but a clean, classy place. Not the type he would go to.
Vorenus returns home to a different marriage. Niobe has made dinner and gotten prettied up to seduce her husband, probably because if Lyde spilled her guts about Evander and the baby now, it would help if Vorenus was besotted with her.
Caesar is getting into some deep shit in Greece, and he asks Mark Atony to bring the XIII to Greece to help him. But Antony says he needs to think about it. Pompey offers Mark Antony a deal. If he doesn’t send troops to Caesar, he’ll get a province and all sorts of stuff. He tells Pompey’s man that the answer is going to have to wait a day. So clearly, he’s considering the offer. Atia suggests that Mark Antony marry her and not go to Greece. He could take over Rome with her money and his name, and she would basically be the first lady of Rome. And it’s this that sends Antony over the edge. There is Dynasty-level face slapping, and they break up. Antony is super ashamed of himself for even considering betraying Caesar, and he calls the XIII. They’re going to Greece.
Atia has a slave with a very impressive asset, and she’s going to send him to Servilia as a gift. “A large penis is always welcome,” she reasons, and sending gifts will gain Servilia as an ally. Atia thinks Servilia, as honest and sweet as Atia believes she is, has no idea that Atia was behind the graffiti that caused Caesar to dump Servilia. But that is not the case, and Servilia makes it very clear to Octavia that revenge is coming for Atia, but that Servillia doesn’t blame Octavia for her mother’s actions, and there shouldn’t be any bad feelings between them.
Pullo bids farewell to Eirene, whom he’s clearly developing romantic feelings for, and Vorenus and Niobe share a sad goodbye, and everyone leaves for Greece. The ship Pullo and Vorenus sale on is not faring so well in the tossing seas, but Vorenus is pretty sure they’ll be okay; a good offering was made to Triton to protect them. Pullo says exactly what he thinks of Triton, and the ship capsizes.
My favorite part of the episode: When Titus Pullo’s blasphemy dooms an entire ship.
My least favorite part of the episode: So, you know how Octavian has to pick out someone to “penetrate”? Why did he pick a girl who looked almost exactly like his sister? YOU KNOW WHY HE DID.
Also, Mark Antony’s ridiculously loud breathing after he’s done fucking Atia. WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE SO LOUD?!
Favorite costume: Everyone, truly appreciated this lady’s purple theme going on. Purple ombre wig, even!
Team Atia or Team Servilia: Team Atia. Because she sends thoughtful presents.
Favorite watch-a-long tweet:
Seeing all that fruit made me miss #MerlinClub. #LegionXIII https://t.co/GVwkdOQLcJ
— Bronwyn Green (@Bronwyn_Green) January 5, 2016
What hairdo or costume would Bronwyn steal? 
Guess Jess’s head canon. The drunken hugging scene between Pullo and Vorenus is a hurt/comfort fic waiting to happen.
Now go check out Bronwyn’s and Jess’s posts, and join us Monday at 9 PM EST for season one, episode five, “Pharsalus”. Tweet to #LegionXIII to join us!
Comments mocking mental illness/suicide, enabling or suggesting suicide methods, or using “mentally ill” as an insult will be deleted and all future comments from those commenters will be removed. This is a non-negotiable policy.
CW: gun violence, rape, pedophilia, Islamophobia, racism
Yesterday, I posted a single sentence to Twitter:
My child is more important than your gun.
I tweeted this to the tag #StopGunViolence.
Now, you’d assume that the above statement isn’t controversial, right? The life and rights of a human child should always be valued above the existence or ownership of an inanimate object. To suggest otherwise,–unless we’re speaking of extremely extenuating hypothetical circumstances–is monstrous.
The following are responses I received.
In every generation there is a chosen one. She alone just came back from vacation, so she’s a little rusty. She will also recap every episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer with an eye to the following themes:
- Sex is the real villain of the Buffy The Vampire Slayer universe.
- Giles is totally in love with Buffy.
- Joyce is a fucking terrible parent.
- Willow’s magic is utterly useless (this one won’t be an issue until season 2, when she gets a chance to become a witch)
- Xander is a textbook Nice Guy.
- The show isn’t as feminist as people claim.
- All the monsters look like wieners.
- If ambivalence to possible danger were an Olympic sport, Team Sunnydale would take the gold.
- Angel is a dick.
- Harmony is the strongest female character on the show.
- Team sports are portrayed in an extremely negative light.
- Some of this shit is racist as fuck.
- Science and technology are not to be trusted.
- Mental illness is stigmatized.
- Only Willow can use a computer.
- Buffy’s strength is flexible at the plot’s convenience.
- Cheap laughs and desperate grabs at plot plausibility are made through Xenophobia.
- Oz is the Anti-Xander
- Spike is capable of love despite his lack of soul
- Don’t freaking tell me the vampires don’t need to breathe because they’re constantly out of frickin’ breath.
- The foreshadowing on this show is freaking amazing.
- Smoking is evil.
- Despite praise for its positive portrayal of non-straight sexualities, some of this shit is homophobic as fuck.
- How do these kids know all these outdated references, anyway?
- Technology is used inconsistently as per its convenience in the script.
- Sunnydale residents are no longer shocked by supernatural attacks.
- Casual rape dismissal/victim blaming a-go-go
- Snyder believes Buffy is a demon or other evil entity.
- The Scoobies kind of help turn Jonathan into a bad guy.
- This show caters to the straight female gaze like whoa.
- Sunnydale General is the worst hospital in the world.
Have I missed any that were added in past recaps? Let me know in the comments. Even though I might forget that you mentioned it.
WARNING: Some people have mentioned they’re watching along with me, and that’s awesome, but I’ve seen the entire series already and I’ll probably mention things that happen in later seasons. So… you know, take that under consideration, if you’re a person who can’t enjoy something if you know future details about it.
2015 is over! Hurrah for 2016!
I made some goals for last year, so it’s time to check in with accountability. First of all, in 2015 I wrote 523,169 words on manuscripts and blog posts. This year, I’m aiming for 600,000 words.
Now let’s check in on the resolutions I made last year, and whether or not I accomplished them:
1. “By the end of 2015, I want to either have completed, or actively begun work on, a YA vampire novel.” I have actively begun work on a vampire novel. The first draft of Biter is being released chapter by chapter for my Patreon patrons, but it will be available as a full novel once it’s written and edited. The only part of the resolution I didn’t keep is that it isn’t a YA, it’s an NA.
2. “I want to celebrate my return to running in 2015 by racing around the beautiful shores of Mackinac Island.” Nope. I used to run with D-Rock, but once she moved to Washington, I stopped completely because I wasn’t accountable to anyone. I’m disappointed in dropping the ball on this one. I really enjoy running, and eight miles isn’t that far to run. I don’t have any excuse here, like that year I injured my tendon and gave myself a pass.
3. “I’d like to get a tattoo that I drew.” I didn’t get a tattoo I drew. I designed a tattoo, with help from the artist. Doesn’t count, though, because I didn’t draw it.
4. “Legally change my name to Jenny Trout. Do you have any idea how liberating it’s going to be to go from eighteen letters to ten letters?” What an optimistic idiot I was. I did legally change my name. I pulled that one off (go me!) but my name still doesn’t fit on forms. Instead of eighteen letters, it’s now twenty-three. Still, I’m super pumped to be Jenny Gallifrey Joel Trout now.
So what are my goals for 2016?
1. Reading Challenge Last year was a bad year for me, reading wise. I was in a total funk, and not just one of those “I devoured this book, now nothing else compares” funks. I just had a hard time picking a book and sticking with it. This year, in an attempt to combat that, I’m doing this reading challenge.
2. Take Weekends Off Toward the end of 2015, I got serious burnout. Burnout spirals me into depression. Depression makes me a person I don’t like. And when I don’t like myself, the burnout gets even worse. I made an effort to take the month of December off. I didn’t exactly stick to it. But this year, I’m making myself a strictly Monday through Friday gal. Weekends won’t be for work, but for just hanging out and Me Time. Hopefully this prevents further burnout.
3. Write 600,000 Words This might seem like it’s in direct contradiction to the whole “Take time off, don’t get burned out” thing, but I think that my new schedule will actually make me more productive, so this is probably totally do-able.
4. Tag Things On This Blog The lack of tags infuriates some of you. I understand. I’m just not good at tagging. I’m going to make an effort to tag stuff now. I probably will not go through and retag all my old entries, as this blog was started in 2008 or something and I don’t have that kind of time to devote to it. But I’ll at least try.
Those are my goals for 2016. Nothing grandiose, but I’ve got to learn to stop sabotaging myself. Also, I’m going to knit and color more. Sometimes, without earning it.
2015 is about to take its last, dying breaths. Its struggle to cling to life in the grim face of ever-advancing time will give glorious and sudden birth to 2016, a year which we will all promise ourselves will be way better than the last one and how shitty it was. But you know, there were good parts, too. In fact, I think the good parts outweighed the bad. On this blog, at least. So I want to revisit those highlights (and a few lowlights) as the year crawls to a close.
January: We banded together to assemble a domestic violence resource list in the face of an onslaught of 50 Shades merchandise/anticipation posts, and I shared my anti-bucket list.
February: We celebrated the life and the legacy of beloved romance author Bertrice Small, endured the Fifty Shades of Grey movie and its author’s disgusting and abusive temper tantrum toward a non-fan, and I had a weird dream about Craig Ferguson.
March: I ate Scottish candy for the first time, shared the stories of the five most amazing people I met while working horrible jobs, I fucked up, earned two of the most painfully stupid arch nemeses anyone could hope to have, and released a novella with a freaking gorgeous guy on the cover.
April: I became Jenny Gallifrey Joel Trout legally (like in a court of law where a judge laughed at me), I met Amber Benson, and my amazon echo developed an amazing flaw.
May: Sad times visited Trout Nation, I shared the stories of my worst retail customers, and I bitched about how much I hate my new phone for 13 minutes.
June: The cancellation of NBC’s Hannibal ruined my life, and E.L. James came one step closer to that inevitable Stephenie Meyer restraining order.
July: I survived to the age of thirty-five, and Double Steve Bonus Monday roared to inexplicable life.
August: The Girlfriend was profiled on Salon.com, Ian and Penny got their first books in an experimental new series project, and I saw Billy Joel in concert, thus changing my life forever.
September: Nothing exciting happened, as I was busy finishing The Baby, but I did share my favorite animated movies.
October: A plagiarism scandal rocked the romance world, and a dipshit reporter had to weigh in with some bullshit. I shared my family’s haunted house, I went to Disney World, for better or for worse, and editors shared their author horror stories.
I’d also like to share with you my favorite moment of the entire year, which I haven’t shown you until now. (video)
November: I shared my experience in the middle of a weeks-long depressive episode, and released the latest Neil and Sophie book, The Baby.
December: I shared a very personal story, and got plagiarized.
Not the greatest way to end the year, but even in the bad times, you guys were always there to offer awesome
WordPress informed, via weird info graphic, that this blog got four times more visits this year than Seattle’s Space Needle, which blows my mind. But also, it’s kind of a strange comparison. Like, why pick that particular measurement? This is going to baffle me all day.
Anyway, thank you, everybody, for being those visitors and visiting this silly place, which is nowhere near as tall as the Space Needle. You guys make my life so special, and I’m better for having you all in it. I wish you a very happy New Year, where ever you are, and I look forward to what will undoubtedly be an amazing 2016.
These are the funniest, stupidest things I’ve laughed about on the Tumblr this year (To my Deaf, hard of hearing, blind and visually impaired readers, I am so, so sorry. I tried to make a version of this post with audio/visual captions, but the format went all wonky and you could only see half the text and all the videos reposted multiple times and I couldn’t fix it. I feel like a jerk for leaving you out on this one. If anyone out there knows how to fix messed up HTML/CSS/Whatever the hell this uses and would like to lend a hand, shoot me an email or leave a message in the comments).
Best of 2015: Books I Read
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It’s that time of year! As in, the end of the year. As in, it’s almost time for everyone to knowingly shake their heads as they write out a check and say, “Can you believe it’s 2016 already.”
Well, I can. Because time is marching forward and there’s nothing we can do to stop it.
We can, however, amuse ourselves with stuff, like books. So here are the top five books I’ve read in 2015, in no particular order. These aren’t books that necessarily came out in 2015, they’re just books I read in 2015.
A Gentleman In The Streets, Alisha Rai This interracial romance turned a ton of romance tropes on their head. There’s a kinky billionaire–the heroine. There’s a stepbrother hero–who didn’t meet the heroine until they were both adults. There’s realistic family drama that anchors the more fantastic elements–including a subplot with a reality television show, as well as the heroine’s infamous orgies–and just really rounds out the whole story. This book was hot, the characters’ motivations were always understandable (though not entirely likable), and the pages just flew by.
Asking For It, Lilah Pace This book is definitely not for everyone, so if you decide to check it out, DO NOT IGNORE THE TRIGGER WARNINGS IN THE FORWARD. The book is about a woman struggling to reconcile her rape fantasies with her real life, and navigating the conflict between her sexual and emotional needs. At its heart, the book is a love story between two severely traumatized people, and the hero, Jonah Marks, is one of the hottest fictional guys I’ve read in a while.
The Royal We, Heather Cocks and Jessica Morgan The authors own the popular celebrity gossip and fashion blog Go Fug Yourself, on which certain British royals are a frequent subject. So it makes sense that Morgan and Cocks would write a New Adult novel that’s a fictionalized–but highly recognizable–tale of a common girl’s romance with a handsome prince. Yes, the book is basically AU RPF (alternate universe/real person fic) about Prince William and Kate Middleton, but that was part of its weird charm. And it is a weird book, but ultimately addictively readable.
Wishful Drinking, Carrie Fisher I can’t believe it took me this long to read her book, but in 2015, I’ve read it twice. Carrie Fisher is like the eccentric aunt who tells you more than you probably want to hear, and when you describe her to other people, they don’t believe she exists. Though I’ve recommended it to people struggling with mental illness (Fisher writes candidly about her bipolar disorder and electroconvulsive therapy), it doesn’t read as advocacy. It’s just that eccentric aunt telling you stories about her weird, funny, sometimes very sad life.
Billy Joel: The Definitive Biography, Fred Schruers Come on. You had to know at least something about Mr. Joel will be included in this list. If you’re not a Billy Joel fan, this book is probably not going to interest you, but if you are, this biography is fantastic. As you read along from before Mr. Joel’s birth–Schruers devotes a lot of pages to explaining how Mr. Joel’s life was ultimately shaped by his grandparents’ flight from the Holocaust–to his life as it was earlier this century, you feel like you’ve learned more about the man, yet understand him a lot less than you did before you went in.
What are the best books you read in 2015? This entire post is a shameless call for recommendations, as I’m doing the POPSUGAR Reading Challenge in 2016, as an effort to boost me out of the reading funk I’ve been in for a long time.