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DON’T DO THIS EVER (an advice column for writers): “I’m not special enough!” edition

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This installment may be shorter and more blunt (blunter? That doesn’t sound right) than usual, but I’m rocking a 101 degree fever and I don’t have the strength to exercise what little tact I have, or to write a long blog post.

Ayelet Waldman went on a twitter rampage when her novel, Love and Treasure, was not selected for the New York Times list of the one hundred notable books of 2014. The Daily Dot has the tweets here, in which she she says “Fuck the fucking NY times,” who reviewed the book positively, and demands that her followers to pre-order the paperback version to make her feel better.

I had never heard of Ayelet Waldman before this incident. To be honest, I wouldn’t have heard of her even if her novel had been deemed “notable.” Because I don’t read literary fiction, or at least, not much literary fiction. I’m a memoirs and genre fiction girl, and I don’t often see those types of books praised as “notable.” I’m sure there are plenty of people who use the notable books list to inform their reading choices, but if those readers care enough about fiction, they will seek out books that aren’t on that list, too.

Too many authors see themselves as competing for readers. I’ve never met a reader who only bought one book their entire lives. There’s a thing I hear repeated often, that just because a reader buys another author’s book, that doesn’t mean they won’t by your book. There is a phenomenon wherein certain authors’ new releases will absolutely sink every other release in their genre around their publication date; I don’t know why that happens, but it totally sucks. But that doesn’t mean something unfair is happening to you.

Every author feels like their book is better than everyone else’s book, that we deserve to sell more, that we deserve special treatment from publishers, that we should be critically praised. We can’t control those things, and we certainly can’t change them by throwing a tantrum. I get it, complaining is tempting; I’ve done it myself in weaker moments, albeit not on the same scale as some. But we can make a choice to accept what we have and move on, or destroy ourselves with unhappiness.

I choose the first one. I will probably never make the New York Times bestseller list. In fact, I’m pretty sure I won’t make the USA Today list again, either. I’m not going to win awards, I’m not going to have world-wide buzz. If it hasn’t happened by now, it’s not going to. My biggest books are likely behind me, but you know what? I have a niche readership who appreciate the books I have out there, and I’m able to make a living from my writing (thank you, by the way). That’s good enough.

It should be good enough for everyone else, too. And if it’s not, they’re tools.

Important links for info on the Ferguson grand jury

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I haven’t blogged about Ferguson here. I’m choosing instead to just boost black activists on Twitter and Tumblr, and post the occasional tweet. For while I feel white people have a responsibility to educate each other about racism, this is a moment in history where black voices need to be heard and listened to above everyone else’s. I would highly recommend following these activists and journalists on Twitter for a more important perspective than anything I could ever share with you:

This is obviously not an exhaustive list, but a good place to start.

There was something I wanted to share, however. I posted this to my personal Facebook account, but I felt like it could be more useful shared here. So, consider this a cross-post of a cross-post of a cross-post:

Okay, here’s the thing: whether you believe Mike Brown was a “thug,” whether you believe that it’s “not about race,” or you don’t agree with the protests, there was a failure on the part of our justice system when the grand jury refused to indict Wilson. You can not argue that away with your thoughts on the “thug life” or your belief that it’s Brown on the surveillance footage from the store. You might believe the protests are an overreaction or bad behavior. Fine, that’s your opinion. But your opinion does not trump the fact that conflicting statements were made the grand jury. The National Bar Association, numerous legal experts, and even Nancy Grace, a former prosecutor who always hysterically sides with law enforcement and the justice system on her HLN program, have publicly questioned the proceedings.

I don’t generally cross-post from my Tumblr, but I think it’s important to note that mainstream sources, as well as the grand jury testimony, all have pointed out the failures on the part of prosecutor McCulloch, investigators, and someone has thoughtfully catalogued these, with sources. Step away from your feelings about the protest, about Michael Brown, and about Darren Wilson, and please read about the errors made by the justice system. If the law is reason free from passion, drop your passion and just look.*

A grand jury doesn’t deliver a criminal verdict. They only decide whether or not to pursue a trial. If you support Darren Wilson, and you truly believe in his version of the events, fine. I won’t change your mind. But if you believe the evidence in the case would have exonerated him, why do you support him not facing a trial? If the evidence you have been presented has overwhelmingly convinced you, why do you doubt that it would convince a jury?

Admitting that the proceedings in St. Louis were rigged does not mean that you cannot support Wilson (although I personally question what your motives are in doing so and I won’t apologize for that), doesn’t mean you have to support the protests, and has nothing to do with your personal feelings on racial politics in America. You have to change nothing about your stance to accept that there was an obstruction of justice in the proceedings.

*you may need to resize your browser window because my tumblr theme sucks. Also, remember that Tumblr is not a news organization, but a blogging tool, so yes, the post does hold biased commentary, as would any news article’s comments section. The original post cites sources, and those sources often cite sources, so focus on that.

To the people out there protesting and calling for action, I salute you.

The Big Damn Buffy Rewatch S02E013, “Surprise”

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In every generation there is a chosen one. She alone is seriously, so bloated from pie right now. She will also recap every episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer with an eye to the following themes:

  1. Sex is the real villain of the Buffy The Vampire Slayer universe.
  2. Giles is totally in love with Buffy.
  3. Joyce is a fucking terrible parent.
  4. Willow’s magic is utterly useless (this one won’t be an issue until season 2, when she gets a chance to become a witch)
  5. Xander is a textbook Nice Guy.
  6. The show isn’t as feminist as people claim.
  7. All the monsters look like wieners.
  8. If ambivalence to possible danger were an Olympic sport, Team Sunnydale would take the gold.
  9. Angel is a dick.
  10. Harmony is the strongest female character on the show.
  11. Team sports are portrayed in an extremely negative light.
  12. Some of this shit is racist as fuck.
  13. Science and technology are not to be trusted.
  14. Mental illness is stigmatized.
  15. Only Willow can use a computer.
  16. Buffy’s strength is flexible at the plot’s convenience.
  17. Cheap laughs and desperate grabs at plot plausibility are made through Xenophobia.
  18. Oz is the Anti-Xander
  19. Spike is capable of love despite his lack of soul
  20. Don’t freaking tell me the vampires don’t need to breathe because they’re constantly out of frickin’ breath.
  21. The foreshadowing on this show is freaking amazing.

Have I missed any that were added in past recaps? Let me know in the comments.  Even though I might forget that you mentioned it.

WARNING: Some people have mentioned they’re watching along with me, and that’s awesome, but I’ve seen the entire series already and I’ll probably mention things that happen in later seasons. So… you know, take that under consideration, if you’re a person who can’t enjoy something if you know future details about it. 

State of The Trout: The Ex, Pre-Order Snafu, and First Time

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Hello, everyone! The first thing I want to tell you guys is that I’m aware of the issue with the pre-order of The Ex from Barnes & Noble. I’ve contacted Smashwords, and I’m hoping we’ll have this issue resolved as soon as possible. Thank you all for your patience; I know it suuuuucks to be waiting for something and have it delayed. In the meantime, if anyone has ordered from another outlet and had this problem, please let me know in the comments.

Now, in case you missed it, OMG THE EX IS OUT FLAAAAAAAIL!

the ex

Amazon • Smashwords

If you prefer to buy from B&N, I’ll update everyone when the problem gets worked out!

New project in the works

Okay, I’m really, really excited to talk to you about First Time, the new book with characters from the Sophie Scaife series that I announced at the back of The Ex.

Okay, remember when I was rolling my eyes about the idea of E.L. James and Stephanie Meyer et. al. rewriting their stories from the hero’s POV? A lot of us agreed that authors who do that are generally doing it to capitalize on their most lucrative projects; many of the rewritten-from-the-male-POV books have only released or been announced after their counterpart was a staggering success. And there’s nothing wrong with making money, or giving readers what they want.

For a while, I blew off the notion of these books, thinking they were just kind of a lazy cash grab. But then I started thinking about it, and they seem very hard to write. Months after you wrote the original story, you’re jumping back into the world, trying to get every scene between the two main characters exactly the same, but from a different angle. Fuck that, that is not lazy, and you will not catch me doing that kind of work.

So, I’m going to do it, but write the two books at the same time so I don’t have to go back and look shit up.

First Time will be the first book (obviously) in the By The Numbers series. I expect it to be a four book series, comprised of eight books. Because for each title in the series, there will be one volume from the hero’s point of view, and the other from the heroine’s point of view. Both will tell the complete story, so if you choose to read only one of the books, you’ll still get the entire thing and you’ll know what’s going on. You’d even know what was going on jumping from one POV for the first story the opposite POV from the second story. You can read both, or pick the voice you like, it doesn’t matter.

Now, if you haven’t read The Ex (and I’m impressed at how many of you have), the next bit is about the new project. Learning more about it will give you a (minor) spoiler for The Ex, so click the “read more” link with care. After the jump, I’ll share more information about First Time.

Merlin Club S04E06 “His Father’s Son” or “There are like ten actors in the UK.”

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merlinbanner2

Merlin club is a weekly feature in which Jessica Jarman, Bronwyn Green, and myself gather at 8pm EST to watch an episode of the amazing BBC series Merlin, starring Colin Morgan and literally nobody else I care about except Colin Morgan.

Okay, I lie. A lot of other really cool people are in it, too.

Anyway, we watch the show, we tweet to the hashtag #MerlinClub, and on Fridays we share our thoughts about the episode we watched earlier in the week.

THE EX pre-order is available!

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It’s an extremely short pre-order, but it is a pre-order!

the ex

 

Amazon • Smashwords

Recently it occurred to me that many people who are new-ish to the blog might not be aware that The Ex is actually the fourth book in a series. Some call it “The Boss” series, others call it “The Sophie Scaife” series. It started with The Boss, written when I was deep in the angriest phase of my 50 Shades of Grey recaps. I decided to try to write a book with a similar premise to 50SoG, but without all the problematic tropes that were popping up in 50SoG and its copycat progeny. Total lack of consent and flat out abuse cloaked in “It’s BDSM, so it’s okay!”, for example. I started writing the book and posting it a chapter at a time on a blog, and now it’s a free ebook.

So, if you’ve never read erotic romance, or you’ve been told that all erotic romance is exactly like 50 Shades of Grey, you can pick up The Boss for free at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Smashwords (as well as a few other outlets, I’m told).

DO NOT DO THIS EVER: “Self-Destructive Special” Edition

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The following is a that Bronwyn Green and I co-authored and presented to the Grand Rapids Region Writers Group, and we thought we’d make it available to everyone by posting it simultaneously. So if you’re looking to get some advice about common self-defeating behaviors for authors, read on after the jump.

Merlin Club S04E04: “Aithusa” or “Where Are My Dragons?”

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merlinbanner2

Merlin club is a weekly feature in which Jessica Jarman, Bronwyn Green, and myself gather at 8pm EST to watch an episode of the amazing BBC series Merlin, starring Colin Morgan and literally nobody else I care about except Colin Morgan.

Okay, I lie. A lot of other really cool people are in it, too.

Anyway, we watch the show, we tweet to the hashtag #MerlinClub, and on Fridays we share our thoughts about the episode we watched earlier in the week.

THE EX, Chapter One (NSFW. NSFW at all.)

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We’re a little over a week away from the release of The Ex. I had wanted to set up a pre-order, but as I said before, I’m one of those people who makes changes right down to the wire, trying to make everything perfect. So, while I’m not sure we’ll have much of a pre-order period, I hope this 100% NSFW first chapter will be a fitting apology.

the ex