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A Message From The Trout Nation Emergency Foot Update System

Posted in Uncategorized

Remember last week when I was like, “Yeah, whoo! Back to our regularly scheduled blogging! Also, I’m about to churn out a ton of kick-ass content because look at this amazing way I’ve scheduled my time! I laugh in the face of weekly deadlines! I’m sooooo organized!” and all that nonsense that was clearly going to jinx me?

Look at this stupid bullshit:

My left leg in a cast from just below my toes to almost my knee.
Pictured: BULLSHIT.

Wednesday afternoon, I made the mistake of taking a shower without, idk, limbering up first or calibrating my balance or something. I turned around to reach for the conditioner and the next thing I knew, I was on the floor with my left foot beneath me, folded in half.

Lengthwise.

Like a taco.

If you follow me on social media, you’ve already heard about this, probably including that description of my injuries. I spent the rest of the week and most of the weekend out of my mind on painkillers. Which you also know if you follow me on social media because nobody really supervised my phone time.

They didn’t supervise my movie or Kindle times, either, resulting in me purchasing two non-fiction books about Victorian surgery and watching It because I thought it was The Goonies.

Which you also know if you follow me on social media.

Right now, things happening in my foot are apparently not great. The last I saw of it before the cast went on was, swear to god, rectangular swelling. I didn’t know you could swell in a rectangle. It looks like someone stuck a Jenga block in there. That shape, that size. Shit is broken in there. I’m trying not to think about it because all I can imagine is vinyl purse full of Jell-O and loose, broken pottery shards. I’m seeing an orthopedic surgeon later this week.

So, you know, it’s safe to say that this week is a little up-in-the-air at the blog. I’m still on those heavy meds and sleeping most of the time. I’m going to try like hell to get The Business Centaur’s Virgin Temp up this week, but I’m really not pushing myself. Please be patient with me, as I have never had an injury this serious before and I don’t really know how to take care of myself because I’m a disaster of a person.

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20 Comments

  1. Anon
    Anon

    Welcome to “old.” Couple years ago, I went for a walk (not a run, not rollerblading, just a nice walk around my ‘hood) and came home with a broken shoulder.

    This past July at work, I made a cup of tea and that somehow resulted in my back going out so badly I couldn’t walk for two weeks and I still have some weird nerve thing going on in my right butt cheek.

    I actually know how the broken shoulder happened (a fall). The back is still a mystery.

    September 9, 2019
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    • Dove
      Dove

      Yeah… I sort of know what happened to my foot twisted it closer to Christmas last year, so I’m guessing it didn’t heal quite right or I did something to make it worse later but I’m not entirely sure about my back either. My best guess was a sudden ridiculous jump when I turned and didn’t expect anyone to be there. That’s literally the only thing I can think that might’ve started it because I surprised myself with how strong of a reaction I had at the time. My back has gotten better but still isn’t back to normal. The worst part is, I never liked chores mind you, but combined the two injuries make it especially painful to do any cleaning and since I have to do some cleaning for work, I’m especially unwilling to do it at home now, whereas before I’d at least get in the mood for it occasionally or finally get around to it as I went through my day.

      Also, when I was a kid, I managed to fracture my ankle (I can’t remember now if it was the same one) while stepping off an ordinary slide on the school playground. I didn’t know it then but it got progressively worse until after I left school and went to the grocery store with my mom and I couldn’t walk on it. Still not sure how that works… and my memory is terrible, maybe I connected dots that weren’t there, but it was the only thing I remember doing that stood out. I have managed to knock myself out for a brief moment on a playground before so I wouldn’t be surprised if I landed wrong when my feet hit the ground. I was “old” when I was in elementary school. :\

      September 9, 2019
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      • Anon
        Anon

        LOL

        I’ve always been a bit clumsy, but the back thing was especially upsetting. I know exactly what I did leading up to it — and I’ve had much less awful back issues before — and I didn’t do anything that should have resulted in the pain I was in. I had to get to my car, which was way up on top of a hill as far from my desk at work as possible. I park there in purpose for the extra steps and certainly wasn’t expecting the back thing. I boiled water, poured it into my mug, steeped it, put in some cream, took it to the break room to reheat the cold cream, walked back to my desk and suddenly couldn’t move. I hadn’t twisted strangely or lifted or bent or anything.

        I broke my left writs and right elbow in a rollerblading fall a few years ago. I think adrenaline and shock keep the pain at bay for a while, because my wrist was twisted in an incredibly unnatural way and it didn’t hurt right away. That’s probably what happened with your ankle.

        I’m trying to be more motivated with yoga to help my back and from experience, lifting weights has helped with residual pain from my broken bones. My shoulder will start aching again if I don’t lift for a month or so. When I was in PT for my wrist, the PT told me lifting was really good for healing bones.

        September 9, 2019
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        • Dove
          Dove

          Yeah, when an injury happens out of nowhere it’s horrible, especially if it completely interrupts your normal life, but given the circumstances, amusing in hindsight. Clearly, that cup of tea was just too epic for this world!

          I’m trying to work out, had gotten better earlier this year, but then my foot getting worse has made that more awkward (it seems to get less wonky and more typical with enough movement, so I think exercise is helpful, but standing/walking for long hours and any heavy lifting or stretching will make it twinge.) I did try walking on the treadmill after work one evening and the adrenaline from the workout kept it from hurting for a while (although I was a bit wobbly on the way home) so I think you’re right and I probably had adrenaline coursing through my veins when I hurt myself as a kid.

          I didn’t know that about weight lifting though! It strengthens the muscle which is what surrounds the bones so that makes sense. I guess I need to try the leg lift whenever I can talk myself into hitting the gym. It won’t address the exact area but it’s as close as I can think of, off the top of my head. I should probably try yoga again too.

          September 14, 2019
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  2. Ilex
    Ilex

    Jenny, take care of yourself! I hope the foot heals up quickly.

    September 9, 2019
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  3. Bookjunk
    Bookjunk

    Well, that sucks. Hopefully, everything will heal correctly and speedily. Just take it easy for now.

    September 9, 2019
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  4. Yikes! Everything can wait.

    The one thing I learned from way too many knee & ankle injuries: if you can *possibly* afford $35-55 for a pair of forearm crutches, do it. They take a lot less energy to move around, they’re easier to maneuver for us who had an over-generous Boob Fairy, and most importantly, they don’t stress the hand, wrist & shoulder nerves you need for the keyboard.

    The ulnar nerve [little & ring fingers, outer elbow, into armpit] and radial nerve [other fingers, inner wrist, into shoulder] especially get annoyed.

    American docs and insurance will cover forearm, but you have to ask, and sometimes it’s just easier to order them if they’ve already given you a pair of axillarys.

    If you’re offered a knee scooter, take that, too.

    Here’s hoping for a speedy (or at an least effective one) recovery.

    September 9, 2019
    |Reply
  5. Beth
    Beth

    Oh man, that’s… terrifying. I didn’t know that could even happen! I hope the consult and recovery and the rest of it all goes as well as it can possibly go. :’/ Sending you ALL the sympathy!

    September 9, 2019
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  6. Dove
    Dove

    Oh god, that’s my worst nightmare come to life! I already have issues with one of my feet and I’m finally going to see a doctor later this month. It’s persistent pain but I don’t think anything is broken (at least I hope.) I’m always stressed about falling in the tub though and the fact my foot goes wonky at times and doesn’t entirely want to hold my weight up add to that whenever I take a shower.

    I hope recovery goes well and no rush! Mitigating the impact of the bullshit on your quality of life is more important. Hopefully, you’ll still enjoy everything you watch while you’re on the painkillers.

    September 9, 2019
    |Reply
  7. Liz
    Liz

    That suuuuuuuuuucks. I broke my ankle a year and a half ago WALKING. The walkway I was on sloped down the side into a gutter – my right foot slipped and then I twisted my left ankle trying to catch myself. I agree with CZEdwards, if you can get a knee scooter it is WORTH IT. I also used a walker instead of crutches.

    September 9, 2019
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  8. Elizabeth
    Elizabeth

    Having broken my ankle also in a way that was utterly not my fault (I blame the chickens- they’re dangerous), I also vote for a knee scooter. They’re so much fun! They’re also terrifying because, ah, they aren’t really built to be used as an actual scooter? But so much fun! As for the writing, healing seemed to eat a lot of brain cells, so take your time. We’ll be here for you!

    September 9, 2019
    |Reply
  9. JustDucky
    JustDucky

    OMG.
    I have been involved in roller derby for the last six years (four playing, two reffing), and the description of your break made me whimper.
    Adding my voice to the chorus of “get a scooter”. The mobility will be good for the soul.

    September 9, 2019
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  10. Maile
    Maile

    That’s some bullshit. Hope everything goes well with the orthopedic surgeons.

    September 9, 2019
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  11. Kylie Glessing
    Kylie Glessing

    That is some serious bullshit. I just had my first surgery on Aug 27–appendix came out after a bout of appendicitis. Speedier recovery than what you are looking at–best wishes, and we’ll still be here when you are better!

    September 9, 2019
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  12. Maura
    Maura

    Ouch! I hope your recovery is speedy for your sake, but take all the time you need to heal.

    September 9, 2019
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  13. Gretel
    Gretel

    I hope your foot heals well! Take your time and relax, the other stuff can wait. <3

    I've had sprained ankles and torn ligaments so I can kinda imagine how bad it must be. I realised that I'm at an age where a completely normal movement at normal speed might cause me to throw out my back or cramp up my shoulder and neck muscles so badly that I injur them. So yeah, fun times.

    September 10, 2019
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  14. Eclairmaiden
    Eclairmaiden

    That’s some weirdass accident. I had a gravestone fall on my leg when I was four, and even that was clearly less painful. Hopefully it heals fast. Have a speedy recovery!

    September 10, 2019
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  15. Really sorry to hear that (and wincing in sympathy). First things first, get yourself straight. We don’t matter one bit beside that, ok?

    September 10, 2019
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  16. Vince
    Vince

    Whoa, that’s…awful, but also weirdly impressive. Sending you bone-knitting-together vibes from across the Atlantic!

    September 10, 2019
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