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A Decade In Pointless Review

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Even though the ’10s were a great decade for me in a lot of respects, this current trend of taking stock of what you accomplished and sharing it with social media in a positive and uplifting way is bumming me the shit out. Could I write about how I gave up at a career-low only to bounce back and have a huge self-publishing hit and a blog series blah blah blah? Sure, but in the midst of a mental health crisis, it just feels…disingenuous. It reduces my life over the past ten years to just the good things and to be frank, sometimes the good things don’t outshine the bad. So, here are the important stats to take away, I guess. A lot of them are animal-related. I just like animals.

 

Cars paid off: 1

Student loans paid off: 2

Bones broken: 2

Doctor Who Doctors who sent me birthday wishes: 1

Times I went to Georgia: 3

Doctor Who Doctors I met super briefly via Skype: 1

Literary feuds: 5

Black bears petted: 1

Years I was allowed to drive: 6

Vacations that involved natural disasters: 1

Times I saw Billy Joel in concert: 3

Real Christmas trees: 0

Good Presidents: 1

Lawsuits: 1

Fandom awards for fanfic written specifically about Anthony Head as Uther Pendragon in Merlin7

Homes foreclosed on: 1

Name changes: 1

Great Horned Owls I spotted in the wild: 3

Funerals I ruined: 0

Funerals someone else ruined: 1

 

Surprised our kids with a trip to Disney World: 1

Times I saw a Bald Eagle running on the ground: 1

How stupid it looked, on a scale of 1-10: 10

How disillusioned I was, on a scale of 1-10: 8

Community theater productions: 8

Broadway World Regional Awards nominated ensembles performed in: 1

Seizures: so many.

Dogs that died: 2

Rats that died: 5

Hamster that died: 1

Corporations formed: 1

Father/daughter relationships tentatively repaired: 1

Visits to a mystical vortex: 3

Deer I shot at: 5

Deer I shot: 0

Deer that almost killed me: 1

Toxic friendships ended: 4

TV show finales that made me furious: 1

Phones dropped in toilets: 3*

Crafts I learned to do: 6

Times I attended mass: 17**

Times I worried about demon possession: constantly

Therapists: 3

Low brass instruments salvaged from someone else’s trash: 1***

 

Now, it’s November. There’s no reason to assume I won’t see another owl or drop my phone in the toilet within the next few weeks. If anything does happen that’s on this list, I’ll come back and update the total. But some of these would be downright weird as repeats.

Let everybody know some of your important stats for the decade. They don’t have to be inspirational or teach some positive lessons or anything. That shit is getting boring as hell. Let us know how many times you went to the dentist or watched Frozen. Tell us how many miles you put on your car or how many of your relatives died. Just throw out the highlight reel for the decade. And avoid Instagram until January.

 

*some phones were dropped in toilets multiple times

**best estimate

***it was a baritone

 

 

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20 Comments

  1. Maile
    Maile

    Hmm, here’s my little list.
    Student loans paid off-1 consolidated
    Cars that died in the middle of the road-1
    New cars purchased and paid off-1
    Sets of winter tires-2
    Trips to Hawaii-2
    Trips to Loch Ness-1
    Sightings of Nessie-0
    Trips to Stonehenge for good vibes- 2
    Trips to Bath-2
    Times I barfed after drinking-1 but to be fair, I’s been dehydrated from the long flight to Dublin.
    Hurricanes that delayed a day trip- 1 Ophelia in Ireland. I was going to Belfast and I was very cross, the tour guide was cute
    Times the airline lost my luggage -1
    Times I was ripped of by a cab driver-1
    Pairs of French underwear-3 see lost luggage above
    Times I communed with an Oscar Wilde stature in a Dublin park-1 very enlightening
    Times I had a proper English Tea-1
    Packs of Toffees I shoved in my luggage for my Mother’s birthday last year-8
    Fibroids in my uterus-2
    Hysterectomies Scheduled in the coming weeks-1

    November 25, 2019
    |Reply
  2. Victoria
    Victoria

    I have found those incredibly depressing because I feel like I’ve done nothing this decade, but this is a different way of thinking about it! My list for the ’10s:

    Children born: 1
    Houses lived in: 4
    Washing machines owned: 3*
    Tumble dryers owned: 2*
    Cars paid off: 1
    Dogs that died: 2**
    Cats that died: 1
    Bones broken: 1
    Cruises taken: 1
    Jobs held: 3
    Horses fallen off: 3
    Horses ridden: 4
    Toxic friendships ended: 3
    Weddings sung at: 4***
    Cathedrals sung at: 4***
    Trips to Avebury: 3
    3-D Lightning McQueen cakes baked: 1
    Short stories published: 1
    Venues in which I saw Dippy the Diplodocus: 2

    * when you move a lot, your appliances break a lot…
    ** we rescued an elderly dog who spent two years with us, then rescued a puppy right after who died of a freak infection at 7 months, current dog is now three and in rude health. Cat was in her late teens and, if she were human, would have been an old lady who shouted “get off my lawn” at anyone walking past her house.
    *** official gigs, not just drunkenly singing along with the band, because then I could add to the list

    November 26, 2019
    |Reply
  3. MayaB
    MayaB

    Since I’m not on Twitter and Instagram and use facebook only for private conversations, I somehow managed to miss the fact that we’re coming close to the end of a decade. Let’s see what I can muster:

    Countries in which I lived: 2
    Countries I visited: 7
    Cities in which I lived: 4
    University degrees: 2 (a Bachelor and a Master*)
    University degrees I paid myself: 1
    Bakeries I worked in: 2
    Nephews / nieces I got: 1
    Cameras that got stolen: 1
    Bikes that got stolen: 2
    Times I got caught without a ticket: 1
    Months with almost constant stomach aches: about 8**
    MRTs: 1
    Cell phones used: 3
    Smartphones used: 1
    Laptops owned: 1***

    *okay, technically I just finished my thesis and don’t have the official diploma, but I’ll count it as done.
    ** That is, if I don’t take the anti-acids.
    ***It survived my whole student life!

    November 26, 2019
    |Reply
  4. HSavinien
    HSavinien

    Houses purchased – 1
    Floods that totaled basement – 2
    Floods that cut off house from civilization – 4
    Houses sold – 1
    Cars totaled – 3
    Concussions acquired – 1
    Pets acquired – 2.5*
    Degrees acquired – 1
    Family members born – 1
    Genders acquired – 1
    Countries lived in – 2
    US States lived in – 3

    *Cat primus already belonged to partner, was moved out of partner’s parents house and into ours.

    November 26, 2019
    |Reply
  5. Rebecca
    Rebecca

    Wow, looking back over the whole decade is really surreal. This time ten years ago, I’d left secondary school a few months ago and was working at a corner shop. Still, let’s have a stab at some stats:

    Paid jobs worked: 5
    Unpaid jobs worked: 2
    Relationships begun: 1
    Degrees earned: 2
    Countries visited: 9
    Countries lived in: 2
    Places lived in: 4
    Weddings attended: 9
    Funerals attended: 4
    Personal objects stolen: 3*
    Cameras lost: 1
    Phones dropped down toilets: 2
    Changes of life/career direction: 1
    Godchildren born: 1
    Nieces/nephews born: 1
    Times I moved house: 1
    Boxes I still haven’t unpacked from the move: 2
    Times my immediate family members moved house: 2
    Pets owned: 0, sadly
    Plushies owned: 2391747
    Laptops owned: 3
    Elections voted in: 4 (soon to be 5)
    Elections involved in: 2
    New languages learned: 1
    People this list will interest besides me: 0

    * One was a bag that contained a lot of other items, but I’m counting it as one

    November 26, 2019
    |Reply
  6. Rebecca
    Rebecca

    Damn, my number of countries visited was off by one.

    I should also add:

    Conventions cosplayed at: 1
    Housemates lived with: 3
    Housemates I still liked by the end of our time living together: 1

    November 26, 2019
    |Reply
  7. Ju
    Ju

    Times I commented on Trout Nation: 1!
    Countries visited: 6
    Degrees earned: 2
    Houses lived in: 4
    Toxic relationships ended: 1
    People I fell deeply in love with: 2
    True Friends: so, so many
    True enemies: 1, + some smaller ones
    Dead cats: 1
    Threesomes: still 0
    Cars that died in the middle of the road: 1
    Cars owned: 1
    Km driven in said car: 14000. I love it.
    Speeding tickets: 1
    Languages spoken: 2
    New languages learned: 0.01? I know some words..
    Sudden deaths of a father: 1

    There is only one item I would change.

    November 26, 2019
    |Reply
  8. StarlightArcher
    StarlightArcher

    Jobs ended: 3
    Times returned to school for a new degree: 1
    Number of people I have represented in court: 1
    Student loans accumulated: gods, please let’s not discuss
    Boyfriends discarded: enough to have earned a free coffee and donut
    Number of times I interrupted a date to pet a dog: legion
    Cars laid to rest: 1
    Pre-owned cars adopted from the dealership: 1
    Number of pets who passed on: 0
    Number of pets I adopted: 0 (nearly adopted one, but my neighbor scooped him up first)
    Weddings attended: 2
    Funerals attended: 1
    Number of grandparents who passed away: 2
    Religions converted to: 1
    Spells performed since converting: 50 (give or take)
    Funko Pops adopted: 7
    Times I freed the inner cosplayer: 2
    Number of Agatha Christie books read: 36
    Number of hours spent playing Skyrim: 2,000 minimum
    Number of new crafts learned: 1
    Number of friends who I use new craft skills to give horrible looking gifts: 5
    Number of times I was sorry about that: 0
    Number of times I questioned by ability to grow up into a Disney villainness: 3

    On the whole….. not a bad decade.

    November 26, 2019
    |Reply
  9. VVV
    VVV

    “The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and… bad things. The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant.” – The Doctor

    Dying to know which Doctor wished you a happy birthday!

    November 26, 2019
    |Reply
  10. Tez Miller
    Tez Miller

    If anyone has a photo or video of a bald eagle running on the ground, I’d love to see it, please! 😉

    November 26, 2019
    |Reply
      • Tez Miller
        Tez Miller

        Fluffy pants! And it runs shoulder-first – funny, but cute 😉 Thanks for the link!

        November 29, 2019
        |Reply
  11. Kelsea
    Kelsea

    Dragon Age Games Completed: 3
    Apartments: 3
    Cat Vet Emergencies: 2
    Cats Adopted: 2
    Professional Study Hours: ~2,000
    Piercings Received: 2
    Boyfriends: 3
    People I Came Out to: 6
    Pairs of Headphones: ~12
    Months Sober: 11
    Cars Bought: 1
    Karaoke Nights: 4
    Concerts: 4
    Cups of Coffee: ~500
    Degrees: 2
    Professional Designations: 1

    Mixed freakin’ bag!

    November 26, 2019
    |Reply
  12. Mike
    Mike

    Times moved (overall location and individual apartments): 10 (jesus christ… about 9 too many…)
    Short films directed: 3
    Industry projects I’ve worked on: 20? Give or take? Some longer term than others.
    Feature film ideas taken seriously: 3
    Feature film ideas that have a chance of ever getting made: 2
    Times I ended up in depression so deep I didn’t think I could get back out: 6 (approximate)
    Times I managed to get back out anyway: 6
    Relationships: 0.5 (long story)
    Filed for consumer protection: 1
    Times I’ve had a breakdown because I can’t find paid work to cover consumer protection payment, let alone any other bill: too many to count
    Times I’ve shouted angrily to the heavens because my resume is just good enough to show low-level jobs I shouldn’t be there but not good enough to get normal adult jobs either: too many to count (and if anyone can suggest ways to make money from home I would fall over myself with gratitude because dear god this is getting ridiculous)

    Depression and financial crises have been the name of the decade. I really hope the 20’s are better…

    November 27, 2019
    |Reply
    • Cat
      Cat

      OMG I’m always “overqualified” yet don’t have enough experience to change specialties at that less qualified level.

      December 8, 2019
      |Reply
  13. Callie
    Callie

    Countries lived in: 2
    Career changes: 1.5
    Original stories started: 3
    Original stories finished: 0 (… oops)
    Concerts attended: 60-ish?
    Autism diagnoses: 1
    Surprising revelations about my sexuality: 1
    Times I chickened out of making an appointment with a tattoo artist: 3
    Oaths taken: 1
    Weather bones acquired: 1 (not as useful as it sounds, it’s just annoying most of the time)
    TV shows watched/books read: not enough
    Pieces of IKEA furniture assembled: 11
    Amount of swearing during assembly: infinite

    Not too bad, overall.

    November 27, 2019
    |Reply
  14. Children successfully launched into adulthood: 2
    Cars totaled: 1
    Serious injuries: 0
    Corgis adopted: 1
    Countries visited: 20
    Arctic Circle visits: 1
    Puffins seen: so many!
    Parents lost: 1
    Jack White concerts: 3
    New tattoos: 0
    Literary agents acquired: 1

    November 29, 2019
    |Reply
  15. Cherry
    Cherry

    How/ where does one pet a Black Bear? That sounds amazing!

    December 1, 2019
    |Reply
  16. jlt
    jlt

    Master’s Degrees: 1
    New Jobs: 4
    Moves: 3
    Divorces: 1
    Remarriages: 1
    New Pets: 7
    Chronic Illness Diagnoses: 7
    New Doctors (hired/fired): 11
    Bald Eagles Seen: 3
    Mountain Lions seen: 1 (30 ft from me)
    Profound Healing Moments: 5
    Books Written: still 0

    December 6, 2019
    |Reply

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