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Jealous Patrons AV Club

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Hey friends! As we were all probably trying not to think about, E.L. James has released a sequel to The Mister, called, The Missus. I wasn’t going to pay any attention to it; James’s career is firmly heading to midlist now; The Missus didn’t break the top 100 on Amazon on its release day, and it didn’t make the lists. Finally, I thought. Finally, we are free. She’s not a cultural phenomenon, so there’s no reason to think about her and her god-awful books anymore.

But then I read this article on Bustle, and I was like, oh, fuck this, grabbed my camera and my hater goggles, and made a decision.

We’re recapping The Missus. But this time, we’re doing it with a twist.

Because I’m far more wordy when I’m typing than when I’m talking, recapping a book takes me between six to eight hours per chapter. That’s reading, making notes, re-reading, and writing everything until it’s exactly how I want it to be. And because my serialized fiction career is doing so well right now, I don’t have time to recap the book we’re already recapping, let alone a new one. But making videos is so much shorter. Read, rage, film, edit, caption, upload. It’s like a four-hour process in terms of active work time.

So, come along with me while I read and react to The Missus, beginning with my take on the article in which E.L. James claims that the trauma of her billion-dollar film franchise not turning out exactly how she envisioned it was so great, it caused her to develop amnesia to escape the horror.

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Here for the first time because you’re in quarantine and someone on Reddit recommended my Fifty Shades of Grey recaps? Welcome! Consider checking out my own take on the Billionaire BDSM genre, The Boss. Find it on AmazonB&NSmashwords, iBooks, and Radish!


  1. Siobhan

    A staunch feminist. I have no more words.

    June 23, 2023
  2. Emerald

    You have no idea how happy this makes me Jenny!

    June 23, 2023
  3. Rhiannon

    She’s actually even an asshole for having a holiday home in Cornwall. Cornwall has its own ancient culture and language, but locals are pretty much priced out or just can’t find anything to rent because of rich assholes from London buying second homes there.

    June 24, 2023
  4. Victoria

    I have serious issues with ELJ claiming her works are feminist because the men are “helpless” in the face of these tremulous women with a huge unequal power dynamic. I also have serious issues with the use of “upturn” as a transitive verb.

    I am quite excited for these recaps!

    June 24, 2023
  5. Katie

    Oh my god. Do all the YouTube videos so I can binge forever and ever.

    June 24, 2023
  6. Jana Dana
    Jana Dana

    Valid. Is there a transcript anywhere?

    June 24, 2023
  7. I can’t believe she considers herself a feminist or that Ana had any semblance of power in that relationship. Did SHE even read her book? The movie, while pretty bland, at least gave Ana a bit of personality and you don’t hate her as much because you don’t hear all her nasty thoughts so, it was somewhat of an improvement. EL not liking the movie seems like she wanted more abuse present and that’s weird and gross.

    June 27, 2023
  8. Mikey

    This makes me so happy. Not only the fact that you’re making recaps for us all to enjoy, but also the fact that I didn’t even know about this book being out until you talked about it in this post. I knew her newer books sold worse, but I had no idea that it reached a point where a brand-new release by her doesn’t even make the top 100. (In fact, I checked right now, and it’s not even on the top 800.)

    So thank you very much for making a lousy day much nicer for me with that piece of news.

    June 29, 2023
  9. Nonnie Musse
    Nonnie Musse

    “Profiles in courage!” Holy crap, that had me laughing. E.L. James is just so ridiculous….I can’t wait for you to eviscerate her line by line.

    July 3, 2023
  10. enchantedsleeper

    I just learned about this and came straight to your site Thank you, Jenny, for doing what we cannot! Also, I went to the Bustle article and saw the words “Albanian housekeeper” and immediately left my body Did EL James spin the Wheel of Problematic to get that one?

    July 5, 2023
  11. Chris

    Please do a podcast on Patreon and take all my money.

    July 7, 2023
  12. Katja Anjuli
    Katja Anjuli

    I am beyond thrilled that you’ll be covering this (undoubtedly terrible) book. Your recap of The Mister was the funniest literary criticism I’d ever read, and that was before I’d even watched Poldark! As soon as I heard EL had a new book out I raced to this site immediately.

    You haven’t even gotten past the intro but these are my favourite quotes so far:

    Not letting people down: “I really hope that someday you are able to do that”

    The part about the sycophants that “suck her dick in public”: LMAO

    Rich men brought to their knees: “We’re all really enjoy rich men being brought to the bottom of the ocean in a homemade submarine…”

    July 14, 2023
    • enchantedsleeper

      Nauseating, self-pitying press is good publicity, I’m sure.

      July 18, 2023
  13. Jennifer

    Here I am, visiting your website for the umpteenth time to read your 50 Shades recaps…and it turns out there’s A NEW BOOK. Oh, god, the horror. Cannot wait to “read” along with you.

    July 21, 2023
  14. Seffie Poulter
    Seffie Poulter

    I like that not remembering the UK prime minister got a mention. Honestly after the whole revolving-door fiasco in 2022 a lot of us aren’t sure at this point either

    August 1, 2023

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