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Wednesday Blogging: Motivation

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“Jenny,” I’m sure you’re all probably not wondering, “what is it that motivates you to keep to your office hermitage, barely seeking the sunlight or the warm embrace of the outside world?” Well, I’ll tell you. I have several powerful motivators:

  1. Fear of poverty. If you’re new to this here blog, you’ve missed a really exciting past five years. After my career shot around the room making fart noises as it rapidly deflated, I just kept working right along, until the day I no longer gave a fuck and started mocking Fifty Shades of Grey. I owe a lot to that book. If I hadn’t decided, “Fuck it, this book is so bad, I don’t care if no publisher will ever touch me again, if I’m going down, I’m going out in a blaze,” and started viciously mocking it on the internet, I wouldn’t have gotten the courage to say “Fuck it, I’m going to do this publishing thing my way.” But I did, and we went from food stamps to relative financial security in a couple of months. It was insane. But as bad as it was to be poor, what’s almost worse is not being poor, but remembering how easy it was to lose everything the last time. I’m constantly afraid that somehow, everyone will find out that I’m a fraud and not a real writer at all, and I’ll lose everything again.
  2. Fear that I won’t get to write all the books I want to write before I die. Does what it says on the tin. I have so many stories in my head, there is no possible way I could ever tell them all. It’s like my brain is a sinking ship, and I have to get as many passengers off of it as possible. I wish I could write every second of every day.
  3. Just generally being a malcontent. I get angry about things, as you may or may not have noticed. And when I get angry, I write about the things that make me angry, and usually I can make one or two of you angry (either with me or at me), and it goes in a beautiful circle of blazing hostility at the world, ourselves, and other.

That’s pretty much what motivates me. I know “championing social justice causes” probably should be on there, and I should be like, all noble about trying to make the world better for my fellow fat people, but I couldn’t take myself seriously if I were taking myself that seriously, and this blog is really only a thinly-veiled excuse for me to make dick jokes about pop culture, anyway.

As you’re reading this, I’m either recording a segment with NPR, nervous about recording the upcoming segment with NPR, or being super relieved that I’m done recording that segment with NPR. Let’s all cross our fingers that I don’t say something dumb, okay? I’ll ask them when it’s going to be on and let you all know. I’m going to be talking about “All About The Bass.” So it’s a pretty fair bet that today, abject terror is my motivator.

Wanna see what other Wednesday writers get all motivated by (I’ve used variations of “motivate” so much in this post, I feel like it’s not even a real word anymore)? Check out their posts:

Gwendolyn Cease • Kellie St. James • Bronwyn Green

Jessica Jarman • Leigh Jones • Kris Norris

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10 Comments

  1. You’ll always be a real writer to us: Trout Nation!

    And I think you’ve got a great non-fiction memoir/observations book in you, too. But that may already be on your to-do list 😉

    July 30, 2014
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  2. Gwen Cease
    Gwen Cease

    Jenny you are my hero. You truly are. Because you are an awesome writer and you don’t let anything stop you.

    July 30, 2014
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  3. Akri
    Akri

    It’s the ciiiiiiiiiircle of haaaaaaate!

    😀

    July 30, 2014
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  4. I hear you on the “everyone will find out that I’m a fraud” front. There can be a real paralyzing fear that comes with being creative and trying to meet everyone’s expectations, even if part of me just says “fuck what everyone else says.”

    Well, thanks so much for making fun of Fifty Shades because without that I wouldn’t have found this blog and all the fun, humor and malcontentedness it’s brought into my life, not to mention Neil and Sophie.

    July 30, 2014
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  5. Flo
    Flo

    I love the sinking ship analogy, I think so many people who are creative feel that way. This week and next week I am deep cleaning my house and I hate it because it keeps me from being creative. The only payoff is knowing that when it’s done, it’s done for a while (other than the daily crap) and I can go back to being my regular creative self.

    July 30, 2014
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  6. But as bad as it was to be poor, what’s almost worse is not being poor, but remembering how easy it was to lose everything the last time. I’m constantly afraid that somehow, everyone will find out that I’m a fraud and not a real writer at all, and I’ll lose everything again.

    I wish I could tell you how much this part resonates with me. Losing everything again, the possibility of it, the very thought of it… That haunts you. People might think, “You’re over the worst. Why worry?” but if only it were that easy!

    July 30, 2014
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  7. I also love the sinking ship analogy! I keep up my blog in addition to my actual (read: paying) job and often I’m like “why do I keep spending time on this?” but I think it’s because I’ve now decided I want to eventually write a book of essays so I might as well chisel away at that one post at a time. So it’s good to hear others have to keep motivating themselves too.

    July 30, 2014
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  8. OMG – the sinking ship. That is so fucking perfect. And the damn passengers keep multiplying…

    Also, I firmly believe that fear of poverty *never* goes away. 🙁

    July 30, 2014
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  9. Neal
    Neal

    I heard the last 30s of your NPR slot and got intrigued enough to drop by. I never met a blogger before. I’m old and from England. We don’t have computers. You didn’t sound nervous BTW. Where I come from a booty is part of a car-y. Hope that helps.

    August 8, 2014
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