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Went to a wonderful GRRRWA meeting this weekend, where Colleen Gleason talked about self promotion and I realized that I’m such a horrible blogger. Apparently, I’m supposed to be doing this every day. Oh, and talking about Alan Rickman a lot, because people just seem to like the guy and they like it when you blog about him.

I can’t blame them. Alan Rickman is a pretty neat guy. And you know, I can’t figure out why, exactly. I mean, okay, being in movies must be responsible for a lot of that. Because I’m pretty sure if he was a librarian or a janitor or he ran a dry cleaning business, he wouldn’t be quite as captivating. Well, no, scratch the librarian part. Librarians are sexy.

Maybe the lure of Alan Rickman lies in the weird way he talks. He has an accent, but it’s not really clear what kind of an accent it is. Think about it… have you ever heard someone talk with exactly the kind of inflection and pronunciation he does? Yeah, he’s British, but I’ve never stumbled across anyone who actually talks like him. Even when I was in England. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not accusing him of having a fake British accent like some people (*cough* Madonna! *cough*), but his is just truly bizarre. It’s like when Christopher Walken says he doesn’t talk funny, he just talks the way he does because he grew up in Queens and you’re like, “Um, no one I know from Queens sounds like you.”

Anyway, back to Alan Rickman: I don’t know what the heck it is about the guy, but people, women especially, just love him. I mean, seriously, Colleen had a picture of him in her presentation slide show and the whole room just went balls nuts. And really, it was just a picture of a middle aged guy with a squinty look that I guess is supposed to be smoldering. I don’t know.

I wish I had that kind of startling presence. Like someone could just show a picture of me and everyone would go “OMG OMG OMG I LURVE HER!!!!!11!!1!1 ELEVENTY-ONE!”

So, in conclusion: I will try to be a better blogger, I will try to be a better email pen pal to certain authors who have vis bulla enhanced super powers, and I will try to be more smoldering and squinty like Alan Rickman.

Also, if anyone understands the awesome power Rickman, can tell me what it is?

I’m also bad at keeping up a blog. But that’s because I’m on a deadline, dangit.

I’m bad at technology. I cannot install Flash player on my computer for some reason. Oh, it says it is installed. It lies. Like a rug.

I also can’t navigate the murkey depths of amazon.com, either. I tried to make a comment on a review there (for my own book, which was probably not the best decision I’ve ever made, but I try to live with no regrets) and I ended up continually deleting the post, over and over again. I’d get nearly done and I’d hit the wrong thing and the delete the entire post.

I don’t understand it. How on earth can I function as an otherwise normal human, yet completely screw up something as simple as navigating a website?

In other news, I vow to be better at this whole “blog updating” thing. I don’t understand how people manage it, really.

Oh, and thanks to everyone who came out to my signings last week. I know some of you drove a long, long way. Don’t tax your engines, okay? I’m not that cool.

Welcome, lucky reader, to the inagural post of my new blog.

Let me break it down: at the urging of some friends who apparently have all the time in the freaking world to capture and tame and lovingly pet the beast know as MySpace.com, I made an account there. And because it is the world’s most time-wastingest, complicated blog/email/bulletin board/etc. monstrosity to ever be expelled from the very bowels of hell, I’ve yet to learn how to use it properly. I go, I add people to my friends list who are brighter than me and have figured out how to manuever around the site and I glare at Tom’s smiling face.

If you’ve never been to MySpace, “Tom” is the generic starter friend you get when you first sign up to the site. I don’t know what his function is, but the user pic is of a smug bastard who clearly knows how to use MySpace better than I do. I despise him.

After failing to be a hip young person and get in on all the MySpace fun, I just made a LiveJournal for myself. LiveJournal is simple. It’s friendly, easy to use and, unfortunately, sort of exclusive to LJ users. If you don’t have an LJ, you probably either won’t find it or won’t want to deal with getting an account so you can post a comment that isn’t labelled just “Anonymous.” Or however you spell it.

I should, at this point, warn potential readers that I am an abysmal speller, so if that sort of thing makes you crazy, well, it was lovely to meet you, because I don’t use spellcheck.

In any case, I’ve decided to make this, my third blog– because two weren’t enough and four is too many– which is more accessible and customizable and junk.

I might try to make the same posts to all three. I might not. Variety is the spice of life.

And this blog won’t always be about writing or when the next book is coming out or whatever. I’m very flakey and unfocused, and my entries will probably reflect that.

In the meantime, Peace Out.