The hottest scene in this show so far is in this episode. And there isn’t even a lick of nudity in it.
You can download the file here. Press play when the HBO sound and logo fade.
I’ve still got my head down and my nose to the grindstone on The Boyfriend, but I did manage to sneak in a couple hours of video games over the weekend. And by “managed” I mean, I absolutely had to because my manuscript was starting to look a little sketchy…
Anyway, here’s me playing the Sims 4 after drinking approximately a bottle of champagne. Next week, I’ll be back with another Spooky Story Time.
INT: BEDROOM – DAY
MR. JEN and JENNY are in bed, watching television. Jenny is a beautiful cougar aging like expensive cheese. Mr. Jen should have been nicer to her in the following conversation, but he doesn’t appreciate her descriptive flare so he can suck it. He can suck the whole thing.
Ugh. I hurt. Like, I hurt so bad that I feel like I should be lying in one of those big beds with the thick wooden posts and the canopies… Like when you see someone and they’re laying on all the pillows, they’re kind of propped up? And then they’re like, [wheezing voice] “Bring me my eldest son.”
And then the son comes in and [wheezing voice] “My son. You have a great responsibility now. The kingdom relies on you.”
Wait. Are you– are you a king in this scenario?
(continuing in wheezing voice)
“It is a great burden that you must bear.”
What are you talking about?
Yeah, I’m a king. I’m the king, I’m propped up on the pillows and I’m dying. That’s how I feel right now.
[BEAT] Why do you have to be so dramatic?
Because I am describing it at you. I’m describing at you how bad I feel right now.
But why are you a king? Why aren’t you just on your deathbed?
I am on my deathbed! I think I made it pretty clear that this is a king on his deathbed.
But why did you have to pick a king?
Who else was I going to pick to convey that image?
But it only works if I describe it well! That’s my job. I describe situations and I make people feel ways about them!
I know that but you don’t write it that ridiculous.
Everything I write is ridiculous!
There is a long pause. Jenny arranges the pillows carefully behind her, mimicking the pose of a dying king in a movie.
I feel like I’m being stabbed in the shoulder by some kind of powerful warrior.
Oh my god.
Hey everybody. This post is brought to you by a debilitating migraine and brain zaps that I am almost 100% positive is the result of receiving a different generic prescription than I’m used to. Hence, no True Blood, since just one of Sookie’s high-pitched screams would split my head in twain. But I do have this:
It took me all freaking weekend to upload, but I had intended to drop it on Friday night. This all worked out for the better.
As for this here blog, posting is going to be sporadic during the month of September, as I’m focusing on finishing The Boyfriend so there’s ample time to edit it before it releases in November. Expect to see more videos, as those are easier to make while also writing your ass off.
I’ll also still be doing Drunk Tarot on Saturday nights. 10 P.M. EST on my Facebook page.
Now, I’ll be taking my painful and broken head to the dentist, where I’m sure having a light shined in my face and machinery stuffed into my mouth won’t exacerbate things at all!
Hey there everybody! I’m super psyched about my upcoming Urban Fantasy YA coming out with Radish in October! While we’re still eagerly awaiting a cover reveal, do me a big, huge, awesome favor and direct people to the book trailer!
I’m 100% bonkers excited to share this story with everyone!
Finally! Finally, everything is fixed and I can record and post these again! But I did have to switch to a new software, so if it’s all chopping or bad or wrong let me know so I can see what’s up.
This episode is uncomfortable. You can download the file here. Press play when the HBO sound and logo fade.