I have written 50 Shades of Grey fanfiction. I know, I know. But it’s for a good cause. Cosmopolitan is running a contest on Wattpad.com. They’re looking for the very best 50SoG fanfic Wattpad writers can supply for their “Fifty Days of Fifty Shades” celebration, and I feel like, you know, we have a lot of really talented people here in Trout Nation. Surely, surely we can help Cosmo out.
Here’s the deal: you write a Fifty Shades of Grey inspired fanfic, you post it on Wattpad and you tag it CosmoFiftyShades. It’s that easy.
Here’s my offering. Why not write your own little drabble, use Cosmo’s handy tag, and let your righteous fury shine? When you’re done, post a link in the comment, so you can share with the rest of the class. You have until February 3rd to enter the contest, though I’m pretty sure none of us can provide what Cosmo is looking for.
I haven’t written anything since college. This might get me inspired to start up again.
Oh my god. That is one of most amazing things i’ve read from you ever and have I mentioned how much I love you?
I’m inspired. I have to head to work in like, 10 minutes but when I get home I am totally in on this crazy business.
Jenny, it’s freaking awesome! I loved it (and hated it, of course).
The Cosmo hashtag is missing, though. Not sure if you plan to add it, but I’m soooo looking forward to seeing the readers’ reactions.
Love this idea! Love your story!
I love it! So great! Is there some kind of upvoting system?
Okay, but remember you asked for it.
http://www.wattpad.com/97840871-entry
The ending made me LOL! Poor Annie Potts.
Oh god, the inner goddess was hilarious :’D and that one description of the dark red (don’t want to spoil anyones fun) was the best, it came out of nowhere!
i’ll give you a (Y) (pincer of approval xD)
Wonderful! Thanks for making my day better.
So hilarious! As her inner goddess is doing all that IMDB fact checking I can imagine Anna in person staring off into space with her mouth open and drool running down her chin.
I’m especially fond of how you slipped in the misplaced modifiers a la our friend E.L. That’s quite some suit, you know, that suit with the view of the Pacific Northwest. 😉
Bravo, Jenny! I love your contribution. Finally, a happy ending.
I’m tempted, but then I’d have to read the “real” books first (and not just Jenny’s fantastic recaps).
I’m “reading” the first book by watching Mark Oshiro read it on youtube. He is really funny and sees the creepy stuff for what it is.
I just saw one (?) of his 50SOG-videos, oh god, I practically died laughing, his facial expressions are beautiful :’D thank you so much for mentioning this here, otherwise i wouldn’t have found it…
Thank you so much for pointing me to Mark Oshiro! He is tremendous.
THAT was amazing. Ahhh loved this.
Is it bad that I want more? You’re way too good an author to write a fanfiction for a fanfiction, but …now I’m wondering how everyone else in the 50 shades realm is doing now that Anna’s taken off the rose-colored glasses. I want to see who Kate REALLY is, and I want Taylor to beat up 50 and for him and Anna to have a HEALTHY SEXY ROMANCE.
Let’s not forget the one that was made a long time ago. I can’t remember the name but it involved a fake nemesis like Mclamperson or something like that and it turned out Taylor as him! Hopefully the author will add it to the comments.
Your wish is my command!
Here’s the link to Bic McPenlamperson =
http://www.wattpad.com/story/31357459
Here’s the link to a new story I wrote (beware: it’s much darker than Bic) =
http://www.wattpad.com/story/31358119-do-you-understand
Here’s the link to a slightly longer (and more disturbing) version of the new story =
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10994760/1/
Wrote another one:
http://www.wattpad.com/99953156-how-i-met-your-daughter-naamloos-deel-1
I’m starting to detect a pattern.
Yes! Bic McPenlamperson must be entered into this contest!
You people are just too much awesome for one tiny community.
My only bit of 50 Shades fanfic so far has been a rewrite of the 12 Days of Christmas. But if that doesn’t count, I’ll write the story in which Ana and Christian get a monkey butler.
Ooo, like a Monkey Shines kind of monkey butler? I’d read a fic with a evil monkey trying to kill Christian in a heartbeat.
Oh man, that was so perfect. I literally laughed out loud at the plum dress.
Here’s my micro fanfic:
http://www.wattpad.com/97936534-party-thoughts-daydream-believer
It’s partly inspired by my smoking hot Christian Grey fantasy…the one where he dies of spontaneous human combustion. I didn’t do any proofreading so I could be more authentic to the original.
Really, really good. I like Kate’s thinking 😉
I loved this so much!! My memory of the novels has obviously been coloured immensely by hanging out here, but it seems like this could genuinely happen down these characters.
“didn’t proofread to be more authentic to the original”
You. Are. Awesome. Why didn’t I think of that when writing my entry? LOL 😉
I know only one way to handle fan fictions, and that is through parodies. Brace yourself.
Oh my God, that was excellent.
I totally lost it when I got to the ‘musical appreciation ‘ part! And the ending was sublime.
Loved it.
That was… wow.
Go hard or go home :p
That’s what ‘She’ said.
No, she said “Holy crap!”
Ive been looking throught wattpad fpr ur fic!! I read it when u first posted and died of laughter. I foubd it!! Thnk u
If you all don’t already know of Uncle Walter, you need to. Here, for your masochistic amusement? Full-blown suffering? Morbid curiosity? Is EVERY REFERENCE to Ana’s Inner Goddess and Subconscious, compiled by Uncle Walter’s crew (with a disclaimer that all the shoddy grammar is the error of the “author” and not of Uncle Walter, haha: http://nblo.gs/12TsyQ
She even mixes up the concept of these inner characters. Ana’s “subconscious” usually scolds her and reminds her of social rules – these are thoughts that come from the superego. Ana’s “Inner goddess” usually expresses her sexual desires – these are thoughts that originate from the actual subconscious. It bothers me more than it should.
Well done Jenny. Loved your Wattpad “fanfic.” And I agree, Bic McPenlamperson has to be in this somewhere.
You are amazing, this story is stunning, and I love you in a platonic, Internet-friend way.
I’m wondering if we could get enough submissions to completely overwhelm the Cosmo competition with ‘Christian gets his come uppance/look how awful this book is/domestic violence is not romance’ etc type fics? Now that would truly be something. Have loved reading all the entires posted here so far – go the members of Troutlandia, say!
This is absolutely what I hope will happen!!!
http://www.wattpad.com/97999555-wild-in-aspen Another for the “anti” list…
Here’s my double-barreled fuck the franchise offering:
http://www.wattpad.com/story/26516185-broken-toys
Grey is nuts, Taylor works for the FBI, Elena is a sex-slave kingpin, and Ana gets adopted by a Viking.
Oh, and it’s a novel.
Oh, and Grey gets his guts spilled by a buck in rut.
Alpha took out the pseudo-alpha.
Well, thanks for spoiling it. :/
I read it in one sitting last night. I laughed many times. Totally awesome.
OK – I couldn’t help myself, I needed to write another one – this time about Kate & Elliott… 😀
I so hope that the TroutNationers can get overtake the cosmo comp with alt-stories. THis would make my year!
http://www.wattpad.com/98013565-kate-loves-elliott-a-christan-grey-fic-kate-loves?d=ud
Dark fic is dark…
http://www.wattpad.com/98038913-the-line
The very darkest shade of Grey…
RUN ANA, RUN! I got chills from reading that, and the part about the children… ugh. I love all of the stories on the comments, people are getting creative! Hahah. I’m not a very good writer but maybe I’ll write short stories to add against 50 shades. Or do you have to submit just one?
So far mine is still in the synopsis stage:
After Christian demands to expand their bedroom repetior, Ana falls in love with a has rough, slimy sex with a feminist tentacle monster from another dimension.
Ah this is fun…for something 50 Shades related.
I was trying to google the chart on alcohol consumption in 50 Shades that was in one of your recaps and found a bunch of links to a study that found a relationship between reading 50 Shades and different unhealthy behaviors (and multiple sex partners, which is not necessarily unhealthy by itself in my opinion). You might have mentioned this a while back, but August was such a crappy month that I wouldn’t be surprised if it flew under my or your radar. Here’s the best article I found on the subject:
http://msutoday.msu.edu/news/2014/reading-fifty-shades-linked-to-unhealthy-behaviors/
For extra outrage, you can compare how different “news” outlets reported the story. My favorite (and by that I mean ABSOLUTE WORST) was from Psychology Today:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/valley-girl-brain/201408/does-50-shades-grey-make-girls-promiscuous
WTF Psychology Today?
Also, for anyone who’s interested, “Mark Reads ‘Fifty Shades'” on youtube is a lot of fun. He’s reading the first book as a thank you for the donors that helped raise money for his sister to get her testicles remove because she was having health problems transitioning. Mark knows what’s up with the crap in this book. =)
This is the best thing. I don’t have the creativity to write (which is why I don’t, E.L. JAMES) but I can only hope that Cosmo is absolutely flooded with fics that point out how horrifying 50 Shades really is.
My contribution to the Trout Nation anti-fic collection.
http://www.wattpad.com/story/31381223-the-proposition
I don’t have any fanfic but I recently saw this advert that I thought everyone here will get a kick out of and it paints Christian in a more realistic light. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahQIioT0STE
That advert is fucking awesome. <3
Yeah, when I saw it I had to track it down because I thought maybe I had imagined the verbal smackdown she laid on Christian. Then the first thing I thought of was posting it on one of the 50 Shades posts because I figured you guys would get a kick out of it as well.
My contribution. Now with bonus dead!Christian!
This one is my favourite so far. Lovely.
I made one, my first story ever so I hope I’ve done justice to EL James’s bad writing :
http://www.wattpad.com/98183512-a-night-out-the-luckiest-woman
That was your first story ever? Well done! 🙂
Thanks :D. I tried to write like E.L. James so I had to rewrite it a few times. I was really concerned that some fans would still think it was meant to be romantic. That’s fucked up…
Very well done!
I can’t be fucked to write anything related to this literary abortion, but I left them a scoldy comment about how inappropriate it is to put this on a website with a largely under-18 audience. Because really.
I love Troutnation. Y’all are just the most awesome peeps ever. Everyone’s stories have been fantastic.
Hmm. Perhaps I should write one where Ana secretly educates herself on BDSM, tranquilizes Christian, and PROPERLY dominates him!
Safe, Sane and Consensual is the trick though, right?
As much as I would love Christian to get a little payback, two wrongs don’t make a right?
Ok guys I’ve written my story and will post it but how do I ensure it gets entered in the competition? Is it enough to just tag it cosmofiftyshades or do I need to do something more? I’ve never used Wattpad before, am notorious as a techno numpty and have no idea what I’m doing. Help fellow Troutlandiaers help!
Finally after much palaver is the link to my story on Wattpad. As previously stated I have absolutely no idea if this made it into the competition but damn it was fun to write.
http://w.tt/1wvxgfg
Really liked this one, clever.
Oooh I like this one a lot, very unique! Also loved the little stab ‘sounds like something out of a bad romance novel’. 😀 Well done!
Thanks! It’s the first thing I’ve written in an absolute age. I tried to get a few licks in on everything, from the awful way BDSM is used, up and including the people who defend the book. I also chose Woman’s Hour because one of the presenters is called actually called Jenny, it’s also a subtle nod to Jenny Trout and her take down of the books.
This was great, thanks for writing it.
These stories are great, and I do hope that the ‘spite-fic’ stories overrun the competition, that would be awesome.
I see that @50shadesabuse has picked up on some of these over on Twitter, and is spreading the word – including ‘The Line’ and ‘Bic McPenlamperson’!
I’d add a contribution myself, but I can’t think of an angle that hasn’t already been covered by the previous entries.
How about Christian decides to spend his billions playing god and invests in a theme park that resurrects dinosaurs? It leads to Christian being eaten by a T-Rex (Ana escapes that fate because Christian strapped her into the jeep so tight she couldn’t move). The Raptors manage to get off the island (perhaps Bic Mcpenlamperson helped them) and wreak some havoc. Christian gets branded as a total dickhole and all of his estate ends up going to pay raptor-related lawsuit settlements. X)
LOLA, that’s totally outside the box!
I was thinking along the lines of Christian finally getting his comeuppance and ending up in prison for being such a rapey douchebag, kinda CSI style, and actually realising the extent of the harm his actions have wrought. But that’s too out there to be believable.
The dinosaur thing works better. 🙁
Ugh, stoopid phone – LOL, not ‘LOLA’! :p
Great story, Jenny. I love how you redeemed Ana. Also love the “You” perspective, it contrasts very well with the books.
I have read all of these so far and they are so fantastic! I keep refreshing the page to see more!
Ok, here is my little contribution to the cause but, ugh it came out weird. i tried to focus on how it would be like for someone normal-Because anna it’s not.- to date Christian but it kind of looks weird. Here it is http://www.wattpad.com/98463110-36-days-day-1?d=ud Well at least I played around in photoshop and made an “erotica” cover.
Oh God, I’m so tempted to write one now where Taylor rescues Ana from Christian. I submitted my uni report two days early, so I have the time…
OK, I did it and I’m quite pleased with it, if I do say so myself: http://www.wattpad.com/98520340-50-shades-free-the-runaway
You are my hero. 🙂 That was fantastic. I love how you balled every single horrible cliche from the novels into one story, and then gave it the ending it deserved. 😀 Bravo!
This is great! It really captures James’ uneven writing and characterizations. The only thing I fear is that the die hard 50 shades fans would probably think that Taylor is the villain in all this.
Here’s my masterpiece! http://wattpad.com/story/31446402
It’s a Chedward/Taylor fic as promised and it’s literally my first published work on wattpad since I usually write on AO3. I’m crying tears of blood at how bad it is though.
Hi Jenny. I am reading your reviews of 50 shades of bla bla in my free time but today my browser got this: “jennytrout.wordpress.com is no longer available.
The authors have deleted this site.” The link that gets me this message is this: http://jennytrout.com/2012/10/02/satans-littlest-pet-shop/. What’s happening?
The link thing is exceedingly weird, but the old wordpress blog is gone because all of the entries for the series are available here. Not all the recaps were on the wordpress site, and since I’d had a redirect link up for some time, I thought it was safe to delete it. 😀
Here’s mine. I haven’t written fiction since high school English class. That was fun.
http://www.wattpad.com/story/31474074-an-anthropological-study-of-human-romance-inspired
A little bit of myself, a little 50sog and some Imriel de la Courcel.
Enjoy.
http://www.wattpad.com/story/31493568-well-done
P.S. this is my first time sharing fiction I’ve written since I was 10.
WOW!!! That one was _very_ powerful!
[…] More along these lines here. […]
My story would be that Kate isn’t sick and goes to the interview, instantly recognizes that he’s a total abuser. Ana and Kate go all CSI on Chedward’s ass and gets him arrested and jailed for 50 years for his abusive ways. Ana and Kate take all his money and donate it to DV charities, while they enjoy safe, sane and consensual BSDM with each other. They all live happily ever after, except for Chedward who dies after suffering a decades long bout of dysentery.
YES
*Applause* Please write this. I would totally buy that.
Here’s my little contribution. http://www.wattpad.com/98735155-fifty-shades-my-design-untitled-part-1?d=ud A little something for fellow fans of the Hannibal show. Written before Season 2 of course… we’ll say it’s an alternate universe.
I can tell I am going to love reading through everyone’s offerings – still have a few to roll through but you guys are brightening up my day. LOL.
I gave the contest a whirl, too. Am now regretting I didn’t follow through with my instincts to push for my tongue in cheek (hah!), but am pretty pleased with what I did put together.
http://www.wattpad.com/story/31455562-mr-grey-will-see-you-now
http://www.wattpad.com/story/31474074-an-anthropological-study-of-human-romance-inspired lol not mine! More alien action than the jealous haters club book
Here’s mine: http://w.tt/1EnCMJX
I think we’re doing a great community service here guys, thanks Jenny! I don’t think I’ll stop at one fanfic, I’ve been reading so many awesome ones we have to keep going!
I love it! I have a headcanon where Taylor is an undercover cop quietly gathering evidence against Christian.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
I so want to a piece from Katherine’s perspective where she’s just righteously fucking furious about how much of a needy ridiculous bitch Ana is. Like, “He broke up with you after a few weeks? I know rejection hurts, girl, but FUCKING DEAL.”
These are fantastic! Question, though: Is Cosmo taking notice? Will they publish any Anti-Grey fics? Will they continue to feed the 50s frenzy, or pick up on the bigger, far more interesting backlash?
Finally got mine up: http://www.wattpad.com/98808679-letters-to-a-golden-boy
I wanted to explore what adult life might be like for Theodore, with a controlling, narcissistic father and an enabling mother.
I liked this very much, well done. That was a *really* interesting angle.
http://www.wattpad.com/story/31651451-one-way-or-another
Here’s mine. Not my best-selling shit, but here it is.
I came late to the party, but here is my contribution!
http://www.wattpad.com/99170140-no-place-like-untitled-part-1?d=ud
Long-time lurker here- I loved your contribution! You’re an amazing writer. I’d love to see a version where she Gone Girl-d him (faked her death to make him look like a murderer).
[…] what the hell. I submitted an entry to this blasted contest. I did so on the suggestion of author Jenny Trout, but I’ll admit I didn’t follow everything to the letter. Jenny’s involved in […]
De-lurking to say how awesome these are and to share my own VERY SILLY Doctor Who/50 Shades fan fiction (my first ever in the genre).
http://www.wattpad.com/99234487-after-the-storm-instruction
It took 20 years for Anastasia to finally be as “smart” as we were told she was- although CG will probably think to track Kate. Probably not what Cosmo was picturing but bravo. You are an amazing writer, this was an awesome piece.
Here’s mine : http://www.wattpad.com/99247187-real-love-she-was-always-there
I hope you enjoy it!
Whipped one up. Two chapters, not as ridiculous as I’d intended, but still cathartic. I wanted it to be ambiguously fanficky. Hence: Temptation & Truth, by bundtcake. http://www.wattpad.com/story/31478191-temptation-&-truth?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr4&utm_content=share_myworks&ref_id=18201582
I just found this link: http://m.cosmopolitan.com.au/health-lifestyle/lifestyle/2015/1/17-things-that-make-absolutely-no-sense-about-fifty-shades-of-grey/
This is cosmopolitan australia but I think it’s pretty funny that the same brand have starking views on FsoG.
A bit late to the game, bit here’s my entry:
http://www.wattpad.com/99594200-lies?d=ud
Keep up the great work!
Hi everyone, delurking to post mine :
http://www.wattpad.com/99669272-unfamiliar?d=ud
Not very fun, I tried for an AU meeting scene with realistically depressed Ana and creepy Chedward, so warnings for that!
I posted my story on FF too and people love it because they think it’s a love story. Make it stop.
I was in a bit of a rush or else this’d be far better. Sigh.
It’d be almost fun to get this chick knocked up and continue with the nightmare but I don’t know if I could be bothered.
http://www.wattpad.com/myworks/32108470-a-night-with-grey
[…] their 50 Shades fanfic. Jenny Trout, however submitted some anti-fanfic into the contest (see here if you’re interested), but I’m posting this on account of An Anthropological Study of […]
A little late, and not on wattpad because I didn’t feel like making an account. bur here is my entry.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11023852/1/50-Shades-of-Broken-Dreams
Enjoy
Did any of these amazing stories win? (The Cosmo thing) Obviously, you guys all win.
I posted a disapproving comment on the story, and a 13-year-old Fifty Shades fan called me a cunt. I don’t mean to wring my hands and clutch my pearls over the youth of today, but GODDAMN. I did sneak my parents’ dirty magazines starting at age 14, so the fact that a kid is reading erotica doesn’t really shock me (I had internet access, but not unsupervised access). However, I never would have called an adult a cunt at that age
Love your story, but I doubt Christian would call the police. I mean, he never has before, has he?