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Let’s get creative on the subject of 50 Shades of Grey

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I have written 50 Shades of Grey fanfiction. I know, I know. But it’s for a good cause. Cosmopolitan is running a contest on Wattpad.com. They’re looking for the very best 50SoG fanfic Wattpad writers can supply for their “Fifty Days of Fifty Shades” celebration, and I feel like, you know, we have a lot of really talented people here in Trout Nation. Surely, surely we can help Cosmo out.

Here’s the deal: you write a Fifty Shades of Grey inspired fanfic, you post it on Wattpad and you tag it CosmoFiftyShades. It’s that easy.

Here’s my offering. Why not write your own little drabble, use Cosmo’s handy tag, and let your righteous fury shine? When you’re done, post a link in the comment, so you can share with the rest of the class. You have until February 3rd to enter the contest, though I’m pretty sure none of us can provide what Cosmo is looking for.

 

124 Comments

  1. Mitzy247
    Mitzy247

    I haven’t written anything since college. This might get me inspired to start up again.

    January 23, 2015
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  2. Amber Rose
    Amber Rose

    Oh my god. That is one of most amazing things i’ve read from you ever and have I mentioned how much I love you?

    I’m inspired. I have to head to work in like, 10 minutes but when I get home I am totally in on this crazy business.

    January 23, 2015
    |Reply
  3. Laura
    Laura

    Jenny, it’s freaking awesome! I loved it (and hated it, of course).
    The Cosmo hashtag is missing, though. Not sure if you plan to add it, but I’m soooo looking forward to seeing the readers’ reactions.

    January 23, 2015
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  4. Kelly O
    Kelly O

    Love this idea! Love your story!

    January 23, 2015
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  5. Megan M.
    Megan M.

    I love it! So great! Is there some kind of upvoting system?

    January 23, 2015
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    • Flo
      Flo

      The ending made me LOL! Poor Annie Potts.

      January 23, 2015
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    • Desolace
      Desolace

      Oh god, the inner goddess was hilarious :’D and that one description of the dark red (don’t want to spoil anyones fun) was the best, it came out of nowhere!
      i’ll give you a (Y) (pincer of approval xD)

      January 23, 2015
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    • Meg
      Meg

      Wonderful! Thanks for making my day better.

      January 23, 2015
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    • Sara
      Sara

      So hilarious! As her inner goddess is doing all that IMDB fact checking I can imagine Anna in person staring off into space with her mouth open and drool running down her chin.

      January 23, 2015
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    • Anon123
      Anon123

      I’m especially fond of how you slipped in the misplaced modifiers a la our friend E.L. That’s quite some suit, you know, that suit with the view of the Pacific Northwest. 😉

      June 10, 2015
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  6. Ilex
    Ilex

    Bravo, Jenny! I love your contribution. Finally, a happy ending.

    January 23, 2015
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  7. I’m tempted, but then I’d have to read the “real” books first (and not just Jenny’s fantastic recaps).

    January 23, 2015
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    • Mary
      Mary

      I’m “reading” the first book by watching Mark Oshiro read it on youtube. He is really funny and sees the creepy stuff for what it is.

      January 23, 2015
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      • Desolace
        Desolace

        I just saw one (?) of his 50SOG-videos, oh god, I practically died laughing, his facial expressions are beautiful :’D thank you so much for mentioning this here, otherwise i wouldn’t have found it…

        January 23, 2015
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      • Lissa
        Lissa

        Thank you so much for pointing me to Mark Oshiro! He is tremendous.

        January 24, 2015
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  8. Alena
    Alena

    THAT was amazing. Ahhh loved this.

    January 23, 2015
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  9. Alena
    Alena

    Is it bad that I want more? You’re way too good an author to write a fanfiction for a fanfiction, but …now I’m wondering how everyone else in the 50 shades realm is doing now that Anna’s taken off the rose-colored glasses. I want to see who Kate REALLY is, and I want Taylor to beat up 50 and for him and Anna to have a HEALTHY SEXY ROMANCE.

    January 23, 2015
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  10. Silarial
    Silarial

    Let’s not forget the one that was made a long time ago. I can’t remember the name but it involved a fake nemesis like Mclamperson or something like that and it turned out Taylor as him! Hopefully the author will add it to the comments.

    January 23, 2015
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  11. JennyTrout
    JennyTrout

    Yes! Bic McPenlamperson must be entered into this contest!

    January 23, 2015
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  12. xebi
    xebi

    You people are just too much awesome for one tiny community.

    January 23, 2015
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  13. Jaycie
    Jaycie

    My only bit of 50 Shades fanfic so far has been a rewrite of the 12 Days of Christmas. But if that doesn’t count, I’ll write the story in which Ana and Christian get a monkey butler.

    January 23, 2015
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    • Rachel
      Rachel

      Ooo, like a Monkey Shines kind of monkey butler? I’d read a fic with a evil monkey trying to kill Christian in a heartbeat.

      January 23, 2015
      |Reply
  14. Megan
    Megan

    Oh man, that was so perfect. I literally laughed out loud at the plum dress.

    January 23, 2015
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    • Sara
      Sara

      Really, really good. I like Kate’s thinking 😉

      January 23, 2015
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    • rateltje
      rateltje

      I loved this so much!! My memory of the novels has obviously been coloured immensely by hanging out here, but it seems like this could genuinely happen down these characters.

      January 24, 2015
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    • “didn’t proofread to be more authentic to the original”

      You. Are. Awesome. Why didn’t I think of that when writing my entry? LOL 😉

      January 26, 2015
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    • Alison
      Alison

      Oh my God, that was excellent.

      January 23, 2015
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    • AndiNZ
      AndiNZ

      I totally lost it when I got to the ‘musical appreciation ‘ part! And the ending was sublime.

      Loved it.

      January 24, 2015
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    • rateltje
      rateltje

      That was… wow.

      January 24, 2015
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    • Pennymoonz
      Pennymoonz

      Ive been looking throught wattpad fpr ur fic!! I read it when u first posted and died of laughter. I foubd it!! Thnk u

      February 16, 2015
      |Reply
  15. Avery
    Avery

    If you all don’t already know of Uncle Walter, you need to. Here, for your masochistic amusement? Full-blown suffering? Morbid curiosity? Is EVERY REFERENCE to Ana’s Inner Goddess and Subconscious, compiled by Uncle Walter’s crew (with a disclaimer that all the shoddy grammar is the error of the “author” and not of Uncle Walter, haha: http://nblo.gs/12TsyQ

    January 23, 2015
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    • Balthazar
      Balthazar

      She even mixes up the concept of these inner characters. Ana’s “subconscious” usually scolds her and reminds her of social rules – these are thoughts that come from the superego. Ana’s “Inner goddess” usually expresses her sexual desires – these are thoughts that originate from the actual subconscious. It bothers me more than it should.

      July 18, 2015
      |Reply
  16. Teresa B.
    Teresa B.

    Well done Jenny. Loved your Wattpad “fanfic.” And I agree, Bic McPenlamperson has to be in this somewhere.

    January 23, 2015
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  17. Marimba Ani
    Marimba Ani

    You are amazing, this story is stunning, and I love you in a platonic, Internet-friend way.

    January 23, 2015
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  18. Petra Newman
    Petra Newman

    I’m wondering if we could get enough submissions to completely overwhelm the Cosmo competition with ‘Christian gets his come uppance/look how awful this book is/domestic violence is not romance’ etc type fics? Now that would truly be something. Have loved reading all the entires posted here so far – go the members of Troutlandia, say!

    January 23, 2015
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    • Lee L
      Lee L

      This is absolutely what I hope will happen!!!

      January 24, 2015
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  19. Mandi Rei Serra
    Mandi Rei Serra

    Here’s my double-barreled fuck the franchise offering:

    http://www.wattpad.com/story/26516185-broken-toys

    Grey is nuts, Taylor works for the FBI, Elena is a sex-slave kingpin, and Ana gets adopted by a Viking.

    Oh, and it’s a novel.

    January 24, 2015
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    • Mandi Rei Serra
      Mandi Rei Serra

      Oh, and Grey gets his guts spilled by a buck in rut.
      Alpha took out the pseudo-alpha.

      January 24, 2015
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      • Pennymoonz
        Pennymoonz

        Well, thanks for spoiling it. :/

        January 28, 2015
        |Reply
    • Alisha
      Alisha

      I read it in one sitting last night. I laughed many times. Totally awesome.

      January 25, 2015
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    • rateltje
      rateltje

      The very darkest shade of Grey…

      January 24, 2015
      |Reply
  20. Cam
    Cam

    RUN ANA, RUN! I got chills from reading that, and the part about the children… ugh. I love all of the stories on the comments, people are getting creative! Hahah. I’m not a very good writer but maybe I’ll write short stories to add against 50 shades. Or do you have to submit just one?

    January 24, 2015
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  21. Jessibel
    Jessibel

    So far mine is still in the synopsis stage:

    After Christian demands to expand their bedroom repetior, Ana falls in love with a has rough, slimy sex with a feminist tentacle monster from another dimension.

    January 24, 2015
    |Reply
  22. Liz
    Liz

    Ah this is fun…for something 50 Shades related.

    I was trying to google the chart on alcohol consumption in 50 Shades that was in one of your recaps and found a bunch of links to a study that found a relationship between reading 50 Shades and different unhealthy behaviors (and multiple sex partners, which is not necessarily unhealthy by itself in my opinion). You might have mentioned this a while back, but August was such a crappy month that I wouldn’t be surprised if it flew under my or your radar. Here’s the best article I found on the subject:

    http://msutoday.msu.edu/news/2014/reading-fifty-shades-linked-to-unhealthy-behaviors/

    For extra outrage, you can compare how different “news” outlets reported the story. My favorite (and by that I mean ABSOLUTE WORST) was from Psychology Today:

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/valley-girl-brain/201408/does-50-shades-grey-make-girls-promiscuous

    WTF Psychology Today?

    Also, for anyone who’s interested, “Mark Reads ‘Fifty Shades'” on youtube is a lot of fun. He’s reading the first book as a thank you for the donors that helped raise money for his sister to get her testicles remove because she was having health problems transitioning. Mark knows what’s up with the crap in this book. =)

    January 24, 2015
    |Reply
  23. Tori
    Tori

    This is the best thing. I don’t have the creativity to write (which is why I don’t, E.L. JAMES) but I can only hope that Cosmo is absolutely flooded with fics that point out how horrifying 50 Shades really is.

    January 24, 2015
    |Reply
  24. Raging Brainer
    Raging Brainer

    I don’t have any fanfic but I recently saw this advert that I thought everyone here will get a kick out of and it paints Christian in a more realistic light. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahQIioT0STE

    January 24, 2015
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    • Tesria
      Tesria

      That advert is fucking awesome. <3

      January 25, 2015
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      • Raging Brainer
        Raging Brainer

        Yeah, when I saw it I had to track it down because I thought maybe I had imagined the verbal smackdown she laid on Christian. Then the first thing I thought of was posting it on one of the 50 Shades posts because I figured you guys would get a kick out of it as well.

        January 27, 2015
        |Reply
    • Alison
      Alison

      This one is my favourite so far. Lovely.

      January 24, 2015
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    • Heather
      Heather

      That was your first story ever? Well done! 🙂

      January 25, 2015
      |Reply
      • Lucy
        Lucy

        Thanks :D. I tried to write like E.L. James so I had to rewrite it a few times. I was really concerned that some fans would still think it was meant to be romantic. That’s fucked up…

        January 26, 2015
        |Reply
    • Flo
      Flo

      Very well done!

      January 29, 2015
      |Reply
  25. Elisabeth
    Elisabeth

    I can’t be fucked to write anything related to this literary abortion, but I left them a scoldy comment about how inappropriate it is to put this on a website with a largely under-18 audience. Because really.

    January 24, 2015
    |Reply
  26. Some Hussy
    Some Hussy

    I love Troutnation. Y’all are just the most awesome peeps ever. Everyone’s stories have been fantastic.

    January 25, 2015
    |Reply
  27. Alisha
    Alisha

    Hmm. Perhaps I should write one where Ana secretly educates herself on BDSM, tranquilizes Christian, and PROPERLY dominates him!

    January 25, 2015
    |Reply
    • AndiNZ
      AndiNZ

      Safe, Sane and Consensual is the trick though, right?

      As much as I would love Christian to get a little payback, two wrongs don’t make a right?

      January 26, 2015
      |Reply
  28. Petra Newman
    Petra Newman

    Ok guys I’ve written my story and will post it but how do I ensure it gets entered in the competition? Is it enough to just tag it cosmofiftyshades or do I need to do something more? I’ve never used Wattpad before, am notorious as a techno numpty and have no idea what I’m doing. Help fellow Troutlandiaers help!

    January 25, 2015
    |Reply
  29. Petra Newman
    Petra Newman

    Finally after much palaver is the link to my story on Wattpad. As previously stated I have absolutely no idea if this made it into the competition but damn it was fun to write.
    http://w.tt/1wvxgfg

    January 25, 2015
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    • Naomi
      Naomi

      Really liked this one, clever.

      January 26, 2015
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    • Oooh I like this one a lot, very unique! Also loved the little stab ‘sounds like something out of a bad romance novel’. 😀 Well done!

      January 26, 2015
      |Reply
      • Petra Newman
        Petra Newman

        Thanks! It’s the first thing I’ve written in an absolute age. I tried to get a few licks in on everything, from the awful way BDSM is used, up and including the people who defend the book. I also chose Woman’s Hour because one of the presenters is called actually called Jenny, it’s also a subtle nod to Jenny Trout and her take down of the books.

        January 26, 2015
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    • betty
      betty

      This was great, thanks for writing it.

      January 28, 2015
      |Reply
  30. AndiNZ
    AndiNZ

    These stories are great, and I do hope that the ‘spite-fic’ stories overrun the competition, that would be awesome.

    I see that @50shadesabuse has picked up on some of these over on Twitter, and is spreading the word – including ‘The Line’ and ‘Bic McPenlamperson’!

    I’d add a contribution myself, but I can’t think of an angle that hasn’t already been covered by the previous entries.

    January 25, 2015
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    • Some Hussy
      Some Hussy

      How about Christian decides to spend his billions playing god and invests in a theme park that resurrects dinosaurs? It leads to Christian being eaten by a T-Rex (Ana escapes that fate because Christian strapped her into the jeep so tight she couldn’t move). The Raptors manage to get off the island (perhaps Bic Mcpenlamperson helped them) and wreak some havoc. Christian gets branded as a total dickhole and all of his estate ends up going to pay raptor-related lawsuit settlements. X)

      January 25, 2015
      |Reply
      • AndiNZ
        AndiNZ

        LOLA, that’s totally outside the box!

        I was thinking along the lines of Christian finally getting his comeuppance and ending up in prison for being such a rapey douchebag, kinda CSI style, and actually realising the extent of the harm his actions have wrought. But that’s too out there to be believable.

        The dinosaur thing works better. 🙁

        January 26, 2015
        |Reply
        • AndiNZ
          AndiNZ

          Ugh, stoopid phone – LOL, not ‘LOLA’! :p

          January 26, 2015
          |Reply
  31. Great story, Jenny. I love how you redeemed Ana. Also love the “You” perspective, it contrasts very well with the books.

    January 25, 2015
    |Reply
  32. Aimee
    Aimee

    I have read all of these so far and they are so fantastic! I keep refreshing the page to see more!

    January 25, 2015
    |Reply
  33. Cam
    Cam

    Ok, here is my little contribution to the cause but, ugh it came out weird. i tried to focus on how it would be like for someone normal-Because anna it’s not.- to date Christian but it kind of looks weird. Here it is http://www.wattpad.com/98463110-36-days-day-1?d=ud Well at least I played around in photoshop and made an “erotica” cover.

    January 25, 2015
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  34. Sushi
    Sushi

    Oh God, I’m so tempted to write one now where Taylor rescues Ana from Christian. I submitted my uni report two days early, so I have the time…

    January 25, 2015
    |Reply
      • You are my hero. 🙂 That was fantastic. I love how you balled every single horrible cliche from the novels into one story, and then gave it the ending it deserved. 😀 Bravo!

        January 26, 2015
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      • ella
        ella

        This is great! It really captures James’ uneven writing and characterizations. The only thing I fear is that the die hard 50 shades fans would probably think that Taylor is the villain in all this.

        January 28, 2015
        |Reply
  35. Violet
    Violet

    Here’s my masterpiece! http://wattpad.com/story/31446402

    It’s a Chedward/Taylor fic as promised and it’s literally my first published work on wattpad since I usually write on AO3. I’m crying tears of blood at how bad it is though.

    January 25, 2015
    |Reply
  36. Ana
    Ana

    Hi Jenny. I am reading your reviews of 50 shades of bla bla in my free time but today my browser got this: “jennytrout.wordpress.com is no longer available.
    The authors have deleted this site.” The link that gets me this message is this: http://jennytrout.com/2012/10/02/satans-littlest-pet-shop/. What’s happening?

    January 25, 2015
    |Reply
    • JennyTrout
      JennyTrout

      The link thing is exceedingly weird, but the old wordpress blog is gone because all of the entries for the series are available here. Not all the recaps were on the wordpress site, and since I’d had a redirect link up for some time, I thought it was safe to delete it. 😀

      January 25, 2015
      |Reply
    • Alix
      Alix

      WOW!!! That one was _very_ powerful!

      January 27, 2015
      |Reply
  37. ella
    ella

    My story would be that Kate isn’t sick and goes to the interview, instantly recognizes that he’s a total abuser. Ana and Kate go all CSI on Chedward’s ass and gets him arrested and jailed for 50 years for his abusive ways. Ana and Kate take all his money and donate it to DV charities, while they enjoy safe, sane and consensual BSDM with each other. They all live happily ever after, except for Chedward who dies after suffering a decades long bout of dysentery.

    January 26, 2015
    |Reply
    • Cam
      Cam

      YES

      January 26, 2015
      |Reply
    • *Applause* Please write this. I would totally buy that.

      January 26, 2015
      |Reply
  38. I can tell I am going to love reading through everyone’s offerings – still have a few to roll through but you guys are brightening up my day. LOL.

    I gave the contest a whirl, too. Am now regretting I didn’t follow through with my instincts to push for my tongue in cheek (hah!), but am pretty pleased with what I did put together.

    http://www.wattpad.com/story/31455562-mr-grey-will-see-you-now

    January 26, 2015
    |Reply
  39. Here’s mine: http://w.tt/1EnCMJX
    I think we’re doing a great community service here guys, thanks Jenny! I don’t think I’ll stop at one fanfic, I’ve been reading so many awesome ones we have to keep going!

    January 26, 2015
    |Reply
    • ella
      ella

      I love it! I have a headcanon where Taylor is an undercover cop quietly gathering evidence against Christian.

      January 27, 2015
      |Reply
  40. Mia
    Mia

    Oh my god.

    Oh my god.

    I so want to a piece from Katherine’s perspective where she’s just righteously fucking furious about how much of a needy ridiculous bitch Ana is. Like, “He broke up with you after a few weeks? I know rejection hurts, girl, but FUCKING DEAL.”

    January 26, 2015
    |Reply
  41. alix
    alix

    These are fantastic! Question, though: Is Cosmo taking notice? Will they publish any Anti-Grey fics? Will they continue to feed the 50s frenzy, or pick up on the bigger, far more interesting backlash?

    January 26, 2015
    |Reply
    • AndiNZ
      AndiNZ

      I liked this very much, well done. That was a *really* interesting angle.

      January 28, 2015
      |Reply
  42. mm
    mm

    Long-time lurker here- I loved your contribution! You’re an amazing writer. I’d love to see a version where she Gone Girl-d him (faked her death to make him look like a murderer).

    January 28, 2015
    |Reply
  43. Kaycee
    Kaycee

    It took 20 years for Anastasia to finally be as “smart” as we were told she was- although CG will probably think to track Kate. Probably not what Cosmo was picturing but bravo. You are an amazing writer, this was an awesome piece.

    January 28, 2015
    |Reply
  44. Cam
    Cam

    I posted my story on FF too and people love it because they think it’s a love story. Make it stop.

    February 2, 2015
    |Reply
  45. […] their 50 Shades fanfic. Jenny Trout, however submitted some anti-fanfic into the contest (see here if you’re interested), but I’m posting this on account of An Anthropological Study of […]

    February 4, 2015
    |Reply
  46. Jess
    Jess

    Did any of these amazing stories win? (The Cosmo thing) Obviously, you guys all win.

    February 11, 2015
    |Reply
  47. Cat
    Cat

    I posted a disapproving comment on the story, and a 13-year-old Fifty Shades fan called me a cunt. I don’t mean to wring my hands and clutch my pearls over the youth of today, but GODDAMN. I did sneak my parents’ dirty magazines starting at age 14, so the fact that a kid is reading erotica doesn’t really shock me (I had internet access, but not unsupervised access). However, I never would have called an adult a cunt at that age

    March 24, 2015
    |Reply
  48. Amy
    Amy

    Love your story, but I doubt Christian would call the police. I mean, he never has before, has he?

    March 24, 2015
    |Reply

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