Hey all! It’s that time of week month every two weeks it’s just that time, okay? Time for me to update you on stuff going on in Troutnation.
Trout Nation Posts
This afternoon, I read a piece in The Guardian about John Green, and some remarks he made in a speech to the Association of American Booksellers. Most of his statements, overall, are inoffensive. He gives the reasons he would not self-publish, despite his large internet following, and all his reasons are fine. Writers generally get into writing because they want to write, not because they want to be independent publishers, and you can’t really fault someone for saying, “what I’m doing right now works, so there’s no reason to change it.” The only statement Green made that seemed at all controversial was the following:
Don’t blink.
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See this?
This is what a-holes do.
Well, a-hole friends who put waaaaaaay too much work into their pranks. This weeping angel was made by my friend Bronwyn Green. She came to my house for a visit recently, a friendly sit-and-knit kind of situation. And while she was here, she snuck this little bastard into my office, and somehow, with her shortness and teensy little T-Rex arms, got it onto the top of my very, very dusty bookshelf.
Seen also in the photo is very, very dusty garland of Doctors, which was unfortunately removed during my flailing, screaming reaction when I finally saw the damn thing up there.
The best part about her prank? She’d already done it to other people, and gleefully shared their reactions with me, thus lulling me into a false sense of security. Because what kind of deranged maniac tries to pull off pranking someone who already knows the prank?
Good work, Bronwyn Green.
Retribution is coming.
First of all, I want to bring to your attention a project. It’s called Quake: The Film and its creator believes so strongly in it, she made a video while wearing a fake mustache. If you follow me on Twitter, you’ve probably seen me mention the Kickstarter campaign behind this independent dance film. It only has 56 hours left, and they’re a couple thousand short of their goal. If you support the arts monetarily, this might be a good place to throw some cash. If you can’t, that’s awesome, too. But if you could share the link, that would ace. And if you still can’t do that, that’s okay, too. If you’ve been a citizen of Trout Nation long enough, you know I’m kind of a sucker for independent projects that seem intriguingly unusual.
Second, remember that post about Jennifer Lawrence? Well, it got all kinds of virally, and I got picked up by the Huffington Post. You can see the story here.
If you’re not on Twitter, you missed something… I don’t want to say it’s magical or basically the greatest twitter story of all time or whatever, but that’s what it is.
New Year, New Goals
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The other day on Tumblr, I saw a post that accurately sums up my feelings on New Year’s Resolutions. Here’s a link to the original source, which I highly recommend checking out.
Anyway, it got me thinking. Every year for the past, oh, twenty or so years, my New Year’s Resolution has always been “lose weight.” Everyone’s is. Even some years I didn’t particularly feel like losing weight, or didn’t even need to lose any weight, I made that my resolution, and then I sat back and did nothing because tee hee, no one actually sticks to that.
This year, I’m like, fuck it. This is the year I make some resolutions that are fun and which interest me enough to stick to:
This is it. The last chapter of the entire 50 Shades of Grey series. I mean, there’s an epilogue, and a vignette, and the first part of the first book rewritten from Christian’s POV– OMG YOU GUISE THIS IS TOTALLY NOT LIKE TWILIGHT LIKE AT ALL–, but the chapters, the main part of the story, the horrible, crushing legacy of “love him ’til he’s well” is over. It’s… it’s over.
Happy holidays, everybody. Here’s the second draft of chapter one of The Bride, after the jump.
It’s that time of year, when even some of the most hardened and sarcastic of us yearn for entertainment as warm and homey as a Christmas sweater. If you’re one of these people, then author Patricia Kiyono has the book for you:
Hey there, all you lovely citizens of Trout Nation! I hope your December is going as smoothly as possible. But who are we kidding, at least a quarter of you are running around with scotch tape in your hair, screaming about the irregular strip of wrapping paper you can’t find a use for.
Recent events have sparked a new commenting policy change here in Trout Nation. I’m not naming names at this time, but I discovered a commenter leaving perfectly reasonable, inoffensive comments under one name, then logging into a sock puppet account to make homophobic remarks and, finally, to suggest all fat people should die so they wouldn’t have to look at them. Unfortunately, this person wasn’t better at covering their tracks. They know who they are, and I’m pretty sure I made it clear that they’re not welcome here anymore. But from now on, if I catch people trolling my blog with sock puppet accounts, all your future comments will be deleted, and if the behavior persists, I’ll hand out your real identity like that old hippie handed out communist pamphlets in my high school’s parking lot. If this gets really out of hand, we’ll go to full moderation, and I really don’t want to have to do that, as sometimes comments slip through the cracks that way.
Furthermore, the person I caught doing this is an erotic romance author. I advise you to cover your ass better if you’re going to act foolish on the internet; you wrote for a publisher that publishes LGB stories and routinely shows up at GayRomLit. If someone in the erotic romance publishing industry finds you running all over hell and high water saying straight women shouldn’t get turned on by LGBT stories, good luck.
In other news, sock puppet banning isn’t the only thing that’s going to change around here! In the beginning of the new year, my website, JennyTrout.com, is going to get an overhaul to remove flash and become more browser friendly. The blog will also be integrated into the site, and the name will change from Sweaters for Days to the name you guys so lovingly bestowed upon it: Trout Nation. If you’ve been googling “Sweaters for Days” to check the blog, this is your warning to bookmark the site. More updates on this as they become available.
Thank you everyone for being so patient while waiting for the next 50 Shades recap. December is a crazy time for most people, but I’ve had all sorts of deadlines on top of that, as well as some personal stuff going on, but there will be another 50 recap in 2013, this I vow! I was hoping I’d be done with the whole damn thing before 2014, but it looks like not.
Finally, I want to thank everyone who has downloaded The Hook-Up. If you didn’t get it from Smashwords, it’s also available from Barnes & Noble now. I don’t know if it will become available at other retailers through Smashwords, but I know it IS at B&N. And to thank you for your support by doing the laziest thing possible, here is a link to an EXTREMELY white list of hot men over 50. Sorry, but I refuse to believe there aren’t any hot celebs of color over 50. No Denzel? No Trejo? Ken Watanabe and Benjamin Bratt have NO photos on the internet? Pfff, I say. PFFFF. However, this list is good ammunition for Neil fans to combat,”He’s too OLD to be the hero!” responses.
Everybody have an awesome holiday, even if you don’t celebrate it. Just have a really good day. And if your family sucks, please know that I, and your Trout Nation friends, care about you. Even if we’ve never spoken. Because that’s just how it works around here.